The first recording today is another episode of A Bucket O’ French and Saunders. It’s missing the beginning, though.
Dawn and Jennifer are looking to sell their house, so Kirstie Allsopp (Jen) is there to help.
The real Kirstie Allsopp arrives.
Dawn thinks she’s on Big Brother.
Another Kirstie Allsopp.
Media Centre Description: A selection of new and vintage sketches from the popular comedy double act. Kirstie Allsopp is called in to help Dawn and Jennifer find a new pad after 20 years at the BBC. The duo are joined by music legends Sarah Walker and Carl Davis to perform an opera classic with a difference. And Dawn lands herself a place in the Big Brother house. Some strong language.
Recorded from BBC ONE on Friday 5th October 2007 21:00
BBC Genome: BBC ONE Friday 5th October 2007 21:00
After this, there’s a trail for Spooks.
The next recording starts with the Russell Brand Radio 2 ad. And a trail for Dragon’s Den.
Then, an episode of QI – Eating.
With guests Jimmy Carr
Johnny Vegas
Phill Jupitus
and Alan Davies.
Media Centre Description: Stephen Fry hosts the quiz show in which contestants are rewarded more if their answers are ‘quite interesting’. Alan Davies, Jimmy Carr, Phill Jupitus and Johnny Vegas tackle the subject of eating.
Recorded from BBC TWO on Friday 5th October 2007 21:58
BBC Genome: BBC TWO Friday 5th October 2007 22:00
After this there’s a trail for Stephen Fry: HIV And Me and a trail for Top Gear.
There’ s also a trail for Drop Dead Gorgeous. And one for Spooks.
Then the recording stops with the start of Newsnight. It leads with the story of edited footage of the Queen leading to the resignation of head of programmes, Peter Fincham. Interestingly, also involved was Stephen Lambert, who was head of RDF Media, who edited the footage, and he resigned too. He’s now head of Studio Lambert, who make programmes like Gogglebox and The Traitors, so he’s landed on his feet.
The next recording is the final episode of Porterhouse Blue. I’ve written about this on one of my tapes. Griff Rhys Jones’ Carrington is making a film about the college and approaches Skullion to be interviewed about his sacking.
There’s a really egregious presentation cock-up at the end – not only do they pop up a “Next on” caption, but there’s a voiceover, talking over the dialogue that’s happening in the epsiode. Pretty awful, and very possibly a timing error with an automated playout system.
Media Centre Description: Concluding episode in the four-part dramatisation of Tom Sharpe’s satire centred on a naive undergraduate’s experiences at a college hidebound by tradition.
Recorded from More 4 on Friday 5th October 2007 23:28
After this, the recording stops with the start of Without a Trace.
The next recording starts with the end of Friday Night with Jonathan Ross.
There’s a trail for Spooks. I bet I didn’t keep those, judging by my inability to archive the other shows recently. There’s also a trail for The Peter Serafinowicz Show.
Then, a movie, Old School, which I have never seen.
Mitch (Luke Wilson) returns home early from a conference to find his wife in the midst of a sex party.
It’s so weird to see Juliette Lewis playing a wife, rather than a daughter. I’ll never understand the passage of time.
His friend Frank (Will Ferrell) is getting married. His other friend Beanie (Vince Vaughn) is telling him there’s still time to back out.
I did find the wedding band, singing Total Eclipse of the Heart with added swearing, was quite funny.
Mitch meets an old friend, Nicole (Ellen Pompeo) at the wedding and manages to drop coffee in her lap.
Mitch moves into a new house, very close to the campus of the university. Beanie throws a huge housewarming party, big enough to have Snoop Dogg as the musical act.
Frank gets very drunk and streaks into town, where his wife is driving with friends.
In a strange bit of casting, Jeremy Piven gets the part of the crusty old Dean, and he tells Mitch that the house has been rezoned, exclusively for Campus use only, so Mitch will have to move out.
Frank’s marriage goes downhill very quickly.
Mitch’s boss is played by Terry O’Quinn, and it’s rather awkward for Mitch when his daughter (Elisha Cuthbert) comes in, because that morning, after the party, he woke up with her in his bed, and then he learns she’s still at High-School.
Mitch arrives home to find that Beanie has organised a lot of people, the idea being they’ll start a fraternity, so they don’t have to give up the house.
Simon Helberg is one of the pledges.
There’s a really stupid pledge activity involving great height, and a breezeblock attached to their penises by a length of rope. I’ve never understood the fraternity system.
Frank finds his wife and her friends getting lessons in giving blow-jobs from a strange man.
Beanie throws a big birthday party for his son. Mitch’s old friend Nicole comes along, but she’s got her new boyfriend Mark in tow. During the party, Mitch catches him chatting up a caterer, but the man tells him he can’t tell Nicole. “It’s guy code, okay? Guys don’t tell on other guys. That’s something chicks do.”
Seann William Scott turns up as a Shetland Pony wrangler. He’s got a tranquiliser gun which Frank manages to shoot himself with, which makes him crash through the party like a zombie and fall into the pool.
The crusty old Dean bribes the head of the student council with entry to Columbia Law School if she’ll reverse her decision to approve the fraternity.
One of the fraternity’s pledges, Blue, who’s about 80 years old, dies during a KY Jelly wrestling match.
Sleazy Mark tells Nicole that he saw Mitch harassing the caterer. Mitch wants to explain things to Nicole, but it’s not helped by the owner of the cafe they’re at telling Nicole that Mitch is the Godfather of the fraternity.
Thanks to bribing the student council, the crusty old Dean has evicted everyone from the frat house.
Their only chance is to pass a review of the fraternity. There’s a debate team, where the Dean brings in a ringer, CNN debater James Carville.
The student council head confronts the Dean, telling him she didn’t get into Columbia Law School. “Look, I did my part. Now you have to do yours. That’s how bribes work.” “I know how bribes work. I bribe people all the time, but I changed my mind. It’s a free country.”
In the athletic test, the Dean selects the biggest person there to perform a vault, but he pulls it off.
But the Dean cheats again, telling they’ve failed. Then the student council head comes to see them with a tape she made of the Dean confessing to bribing her. The Dean steals the tape, there’s a long chase, Frank fights with the Dean, who gets away, but Frank got the tape, and the Dean is fired.
Nicole comes to see Mitch as he’s moving out, telling him that she found out what a sleazeball Mark was.
Frank becomes the campus DJ.
This really wasn’t my kind of thing, if I’m honest. Maybe when I was 18.
Media Centre Description: Riotous campus comedy in which a lawyer, having caught his wife cheating on him, sets up home near the local university, unwittingly giving his thirtysomething friends an opportunity to recapture their college years and turn his pad into a 24-hour party zone.
Recorded from BBC ONE on Friday 5th October 2007 23:35
BBC Genome: BBC ONE Friday 5th October 2007 23:35
After this, there’s a trailer for Strictly Come Dancing.
Then the recording stops during the Weather.
The next recording starts with the end of The Postman Always Rings Twice.
There’s trails for Louis Theroux: Under the Knife and Radio 2.
Then, it’s Star Trek: The Next Generation – A Matter of Perspective. I did write a bit about this on one of my tapes.
Media Centre Description: Sci-fi drama series set on the USS Enterprise. Returning from a routine mission on Tanuga Four, Commander Riker finds himself suspected of murdering a respected scientist who had accused him of seducing his wife.
Recorded from BBC TWO on Saturday 6th October 2007 02:23
BBC Genome: BBC TWO Saturday 6th October 2007 02:25
After this, there’s trails for Top Gear, Spooks and one for Strictly.
Then the recording stops with the start of another episode of TNG.
That episode is Star Trek: The Next Generation – The Offspring which I am surprised to discover I don’t seem to have on my tapes.
Data has got the nesting instinct, so he is building a child.
His child, called Lal, is very much a They/Them at this point. “I have decided to allow my child to choose its own sex and appearance.”
Captain Picard is having trouble explaining to Data all the serious ramifications of what he’s done.
Sounds like Lal doesn’t want to be non-binary. “And I am gender… neuter. Inadequate.” “That is why you must choose a gender, Lal”
Lal decides on being a girl. There’s a bit of dialogue to explain why her skin colour is more realistic than his, because I guess they didn’t want the added expense of all the makeup.
Data thinks that Lal working behind the bar at Ten Forward with Guinan is a good way to learn social interaction. During their conversation, Guinan notices that Lal can use contractions, like “I’ve” instead of “I have”, something Data can’t do. “You have exceeded my abilities.”
Picard tells Data that Starfleet’s head of research, Admiral Haftel, is coming to examine Lal. The Admiral thinks that it would be better if Lal were ‘looked after’ by Starfleet’s cybernetics experts. “Then he is questioning my ability as a parent.” “In a manner of speaking.” Does the Admiral have children?” “Yes, I believe he does, Data. Why?” I am forced to wonder how much experience he had as a parent when his first child was born.”
Lal watches a couple flirting and kissing. Of course, she doesn’t understand what kissing is. Riker, who has been off the ship since the start of the episode has returned, and comes in. “You’re new here, aren’t you?” he asks. “Yes,” she replies, then grabs him and kisses him, just as Data comes in. “Commander? What are your intentions toward my daughter?”
Admiral Haftel seems intent on taking Lal. Picard pushes back. “I’m convinced the damage will be irreparable if they’re separated.” “Captain, are we talking about breaking up a family? Isn’t that rather a sentimental attitude about androids?” “They’re living, sentient beings. Their rights and privileges in our society have been defined. I helped define them.” A nice reference to the earlier episode “The Measure of a Man”.
Haftel doesn’t think Ten Forward is an appropriate place for Lal. “She is capable of running over 60 trillion calculations a second, and you have her working as a cocktail waitress.”
Haftel interviews Lal, telling her of the research centre he wants to take her to. She tells him she doesn’t want to leave the Enterprise yet. When she leaves the interview, she seeks out Deanna Troi. “Troi… An admiral from Starfleet has come to take me away, Troi. I am scared.” “You are scared, aren’t you?” “I feel it. How is this possible?” “I don’t know.” “This is what it means to feel.”
Haftel demands that Data voluntarily gives up Lal to Starfleet. “Admiral, when I created Lal, it was in the hope that someday she would choose to enter the academy and become a member of Starfleet. I wanted to give something back in return for all that Starfleet has given me. I still do. But Lal is my child. You ask that I volunteer to give her up. I cannot. It would violate every lesson I have learned about human parenting. I have brought a new life into this world. And it is my duty, not Starfleet’s to guide her through these difficult steps to maturity, to support her as she learns, to prepare her to be a contributing member of society. No one can relieve me from that obligation, and I cannot ignore it. I am… her father.” And yes, this is making me cry.
Haftel orders Data to hand Lal over. Picard tells Data to ignore the order. Haftel says “Captain, you are jeopardizing your command and your career.” Picard replies “There are times, sir, when men of good conscience cannot blindly follow orders. You acknowledge their sentience but you ignore their personal liberties and freedom. Order a man to hand his child over to the state? Not while I am his Captain.” And this is why Picard is the best Captain.
Lal’s emotional feelings appear to be the symptom of a malfunction. Data (assisted by Haftel) has to try to find the problem.
As Deanna, Wesley and Geordi wait outside the lab for news, Haftel comes out. “She… she won’t survive much longer. There was nothing anyone could have done. We’d repolarize one pathway, and another would collapse. And then another. His hands… were moving faster than I could see, trying to stay ahead of each breakdown. He refused to give up. He was remarkable. It just… wasn’t meant to be.” And for once he appears to be upset by this for reasons other than value to Starfleet.
Data has to say goodbye. “Lal, I am unable to correct the system failure.” “I know.” “We must say good-bye now.” “I feel…” “What do you feel, Lal?” “I love you, Father.” Data pauses. “I wish I could feel it with you.” “I will feel it for both of us. Thank you for my life. Flirting. Laughter. Painting, family. Female. Human…” And then she stops.
Gosh, that episode definitely pushed all of my buttons.
Media Centre Description: Sci-fi drama series about the crew of the USS Enterprise. Data becomes a proud father when he creates an android using his own neural programming. Picard, however, is apprehensive about Starfleet’s reaction to the unauthorised newcomer.
Recorded from BBC TWO on Saturday 6th October 2007 03:08
BBC Genome: BBC TWO Saturday 6th October 2007 03:10
After this, there’s a trail for Louis Theroux: Under the Knife.
Then the recording ends with some Pages from Ceefax.
Here’s the ad breaks from Porterhouse Blue.
Adverts:
- Frontline
- Yakult
- Tilda Microwave Rice
- Lancome Virtuose
- The Very Best of Power Ballads
- trail: Brass Eye
- trail: Studio 60 On The Sunset Strip
- Marks & Spencer
- Disney on Ice
- B&Q
- Dove Pro-Age
- Fairy Dishwasher
- Colgate 360
- The Kingdom in cinemas
- Onken
- Leerdammer
- Daily Telegraph
- trail: Channel 4 at 25
- Ariel with Febreze
- Tefal Hot Water Dispenser
- Gillette Fusion
- Christian Lacroix Noir/Rouge
- Herbal Essences
- Multibionta
- Evans
- Hotpoint Aqualtis
- Lancome Virtuose
- SCS
- trail: To Die For
- No7
- Seat Leon
- Nat West
- Evans
- Orange
- Boundary Bathrooms
- B&Q
- Kate Walsh – Tim’s House
- trail: True Stories: Czech Dream
VHiStory 