Month: February 2018

Spaced – tape 2835

Spaced series two. What a treat.

First, a confession. I was just a bit too old for Spaced. By the time it came out, I was married, with a brand new baby, so the life of twentysomethings sharing a flat and partying felt like a different generation.

Good thing it had all those nerd jokes, then.

Series two starts with a homage to Woody Allen’s Manhattan which serves to reintroduce the characters in a typically Edgar Wright fast-cutting way.

It’s been eighteen months, and Tim is still working through his problems with George Lucas and The Phantom Menace.

Mike’s been living in Daisy’s room while she’s been away.

“Did you take lots of photos?” “No need for photos. Welcome to the twenty-first century.”

On her holiday, she met a young man, played by John Simm, who was bringing back ‘sensitive material’.

He was picked up by two agents, Kevin Eldon

And Mark Gatiss, both playing Agent Smith of the Matrix.

Episode Two, Change, starts with the cast asleep, with the music from Bagpuss playing. Here’s a confession. My youngest daughter is called Emily, and it’s mostly because of Bagpuss.

Tim gets fired from his job at the comic shop for yelling at a child wanting to buy a Jar Jar toy. His boss Bilbo sympathises – “I once punched a bloke in the face for saying Hawk the Slayer is rubbish” – but he has to let him go.

Katy Carmichael appears as Twist. Now, I might be wrong about this, but I’m fairly sure I used to know her when she worked in Ed’s Diner in Soho in the early 90s. She was there for a while, and we used to chat, and when she left, I started seeing her (or someone who looked a lot like her) in adverts, and then here in Spaced. Now, I have no real way of knowing it she was the same person I knew, but I like to think she is, and I was happy to see her getting roles.

Tim gets a new job at another comic shop. But old boss Bilbo asks him to come back to his shop, so he gets sacked. “Babylon Five’s a big pile of shit!”

There’s a very brief appearance from Robert Popper, creator of Look Around You and Friday Night Dinner as a bookshop customer.

The next episode is Mettle. It has a great Robocop opening.

I like the in-jokes in the display, including the catchphrase ‘Fried Gold’.

Reece Shearsmith plays a rival in Robot Wars. I met him once, at the premiere of the Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy movie. We had a nice chat about the League of Gentlemen movie they’d just completed.

Daisy gets a job in a restaurant kitchen, which turns into One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest, complete with Joanna Scanlan as their Nurse Ratched.

Talking of Hitchhiker’s, Tim and Mike’s robot has the sound of the guide.

They compete in Robot Club, and underground version of Robot Wars.

I’ve missed the start of the next episode on this recording. Just a few seconds, though. Clive Russell plays the comics publisher who traumatised Tim last year when he submitted his portfolio. He wants to give him a second chance.

The great Michael Smiley appears as the bike courier Tyres.

Olivia Williams plays an angry cyclist, in a Sixth Sense homage.

Rowena Cooper plays Brian’s mum.

Another Matrix homage.

And a Grange Hill homage.

We’re missing the next episode – which I looked at quite a while ago, so the next episode here is episode six, Dissolution. Brian is processing some pictures, and in an Omen-like scene, sees lines dividing all the characters.

Tim and Sophie (Lucy Akhurst) are a couple, and they’re worried about Marsha getting suspicious, because they originally rented the flat on the basis that Tim and Daisy were a professional couple.

Mike is upset that Tim forgot his promotion.

It all comes to a head at a meal, and Daisy has to admit to Marsha that she and Tim are not really a couple.

In a flashback, Ricky Gervais plays a call centre worker.

The cake Tim got for Daisy is lovely.

And it’s very decent of George Lucas to let them use the end title music from Empire Strikes Back.

The Final episode, Leaves, starts with a pastiche of the Royle Family titles.

Marsha has put the house up for sale. Daisy is offered a job in Colwyn Bay. Sophie is moving to Seattle to work for Marvel. So Tim, Mike and Brian have to make one last pointless gesture to get Marsha to change her mind.

But when they get back to the flat, they find Daisy has left for St Pancras. So Tim has to ride their robot to stop her.

I know people have always wished for a third series of Spaced, but I think this was a lovely ending.

After the last episode, and a few adverts, recording stops, and underneath there’s an episode of So Graham Norton.

He has his regular audience member, Betty, but with a daytime TV twist.

His first guest is chat show host Ricki Lake.

His second guest is Boyzone’s Stephen Gateley.

After part 2, this recording finishes, and underneath, there’s Aiya Napa – Return to Fantasy Island. Not my cup of tea, as I’m not one for discotheques. Still, the last shot of the programme is of a woman pulling her top up to show her breasts, so at least all my prejudices remain intact.

After this, late night on Channel 4 goes even more downmarket with the start of a programme called Digital Sex. I didn’t watch it, but scrolling through it it looks like a downmarket Eurotrash. Yes, such a thing is possible. The tape ends during this programme.

On the adverts, one thing caught my eye. When movies are playing in cinemas, I always note it with ‘Movie Name in cinemas’. That’s how I’ve always thought of it. But almost all the ads say ‘at cinemas’. I gnore this because I’m contrary and right, but on this tape thre was one ad which used ‘in cinemas’ so I thought I’d give it a special mention. Don’t remember the movie at all, though. iMDb tells me it starred David Boreanaz and Denise Richards.

Adverts:

  • trail: Monty Python’s Life of Brian
  • Ford Ka
  • Lloyd’s Bank
  • Levi’s Engineered Jeans
  • Love Honour & Obey on video
  • The Observer
  • Lloyd’s Bank
  • Daily Telegraph
  • Levi’s Engineered Jeans
  • Brit Awards 2001
  • Nissan
  • Jaffa Cakes
  • MSN
  • Chatback
  • Jordans Country Crisp
  • Intel Pentium 4
  • Standard Life
  • Nissan Almera
  • First Direct
  • DTI
  • Renault Clio
  • National Lottery
  • Red Bull
  • In Style
  • Men of Honour in cinemas
  • The Marketplace
  • XFM
  • VW Polo
  • Euphoria
  • Gorillaz
  • Lynx 3 Blade Shave
  • Vauxhall Zafira
  • Valentine in cinemas
  • The Annual Spring 2001
  • Specsavers
  • Special K
  • MFI
  • Morgan Stanley Dean Witter
  • Budweiser
  • Vauxhall Zafira
  • Budweiser
  • British Midland
  • Neil Finn – One Nil
  • O Brother Where Art Thou? on DVD
  • Euphoria
  • trail: Top 10 Pop Princesses
  • trail: My Best Friend’s Wedding
  • VW Polo
  • Cheltenham & Gloucester
  • XFM
  • Men of Honour in cinemas
  • Reebok
  • National Lottery
  • Sainsbury’s
  • The Chillout Session
  • New Deal for Lone Parents
  • The Independent
  • trail: Trigger Happy TV
  • trail: Teachers
  • Bacardi Breezer
  • Toyota
  • Bridget Jones’ Diary in cinemas
  • The Sun
  • Imodium Plus
  • National Lottery
  • Sma
  • Synergie
  • trail: Top Ten X-Rated
  • MTV Select
  • Comet
  • Andrex
  • Morgan Stanley Dean Witter
  • The Very Best Euphoric Chillout Mixes Breakdown
  • Twix
  • Jordans Country Crisp
  • KFC
  • Mastercard
  • trail: Teachers
  • Lloyd’s Bank
  • Ayia Napa Return to Fantasy Island
  • trail: Can You Live Without Sex?
  • trail: ER
  • Hollow Man on DVD
  • The Definitive Monkees
  • Twix
  • Pringles
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LA Law – tape 1373

Here’s some episodes of LA Law. Douglas and his ex-wife are talking at a restaurant when the chef comes to their table demanding to know why they aren’t eating their food, and it’s Babu from Seinfeld, Brian George.

Michael Cumpsty is in this era, after his appearance on Voyager, romancing Sheila Kelley.

Tommy Mullaney (John Spencer) is prosecuting a case, which is odd, since he’s working for Mackenzie Brackman. It’s a case where there’s a woman missing, presumed murdered, and money was stolen.

He’s trying the case with Karen Young.

Jonathan Rollins is approached to assume a local government seat after the incumbent died.

Stuart is representing a man who imported condoms with the American Flag on them, and they were impounded as obscene. And most of the dialogue in the scenes discussing the case could have come from a Carry On movie.

In the next episode, there’s a couple of genre faces. Terry O’Quin from Lost.

James Morrison from Space: Above and Beyond.

David Rasche, Sledge Hammer himself, plays a blind lawyer.

Amanda Donohoe (CJ Lamb) is defending a studio head, being sued by an actress who says he forced her to have breast implants that then disfigured her.

In the next episode, the case over the breast implants is continuing.

Grace is representing a man suing a psychic who’s been fleecing him.

And at the end of the episode, the psychic tells her that her dead mother told her that she’s still sad about a Latino man. Her last words of the episode are “He’s coming back.” So we’re set up for the season finale then.

Sure enough, Victor comes back, and tells Grace that he’s worked out his feelings, and he’s going to take a job in New York, and he wants her to go with him. She tells him to go fuck himself.

Zoey Clemmons perjures herself in a case with a prisoner with Aids, and then he goes mad with a gun and she’s shot.

And on that bombshell, Grace decides life’s too short to hold a grudge, and gets back with Victor.

Following this, recording continues, and there’s a whole edition of News at Ten. Top stories are a speech by John Major to the CBI on the economy, the conflict in Bosnia, and peace talks in South Africa.

After this, recording stops, and underneath there’s a schools’ programme, Go 45.

Adverts:

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  • Fruit Corner – Joanna Lumley
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  • Post Office
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  • Tetley Instant Tea – Rita Rudner
  • trail: Danielle Steel’s Fine Things
  • Clairol Glints
  • Johnson’s Baby Bath
  • The Power of One in cinemas
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  • The Classical Collection
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  • Toffee Crisp
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  • Cook Electric – Creature Comforts
  • trail: The Krypton Factor

Crossing Delancey – Funny Business – tape 1387

First on this tape is Crossing Delancey, a romantic comedy starring Amy Irving. She plays Izzy, a woman working at a New York bookshop they have just saved from closing down.

Jeroen Krabbe is a writer who clearly likes her.

She’s not looking for a man, but her grandmother wants to set her up with a nice man she knows, who sells pickles. He’s played by Peter Riegert.

She also has an ex who occasionally turns up for company, played by John Bedford Lloyd – who I recognised as Jammer from The Abyss.

It’s nice to see Kathleen Wilhoite play something other than a drug addict. Here she’s Krabbe’s former assistant.

Also in the cast, David Hyde Pierce, who also works in the bookshop.

This is a really sweet comedy, quiet, understated, with small-scale relationship drama, and nicely drawn characters. Perhaps there’s no belly laughs here, but Irving is charming, as is Reigert, just as appealing as he was in Local Hero as the man with the pickle shop who’s not quite sophisticated enough for Irving’s literary life.

BBC Genome: BBC Two – 20th December 1992 – 21:00

There’s a trailer for The Fabulous Baker Boys.

Then, an episode of Funny Business. I had thought this was the awful Howard Jacobson programme about comedy, but this is different, a BBC series about comedy. This episode is A Question of Taste and opens with a lovely shot of Television Centre.

I like this series. It tries something different with the documentary form, in this case almost a prototype of W1A. “This particular film, which was my idea, I got from an interview I read with John Cleese in one of the colour supplements.”

I like the classic BBC calendar behind her – every week is numbered, because weekly scheduling is such an ingrained part of work at the BBC.

The first performer featured is Andrew Dice Clay, someone who never made it in the UK, and who I’ve only really seen in programmes like this, so I’ve probably only seen his most hateful. I think I watched his movie, The Adventures of Ford Fairlane, but I don’t remember much about it. His stand-up just sounds, to me, like a Five Minute Hate with a sequinned jacket.

Another of the faux documentary makers is Nigel Partridge. “I think it’s fascinating how some of the funniest jokes are ones that you don’t laugh at at all.”

It’s slightly strange that we have actual interviews being done by the fictional characters. They talk to Roy Chubby Brown.

They talk to Stephanie Hodge.

There’s a lovely scene where the team read out a list of rude words to a group of senior citizens, and they’re all like the old ladies from Harry Enfield. “Nigel, are they your sex drops? Nigel, are you married?”

They talk to Bill Hicks. I still get sad that he died.

The team have a problem getting John Cleese’s participation.

It’s not a bad documentary, and someone has uploaded it.

BBC Genome: BBC Two – 20th December 1992 – 22:35

The final episode in the series is next, after a nice Christmas BBC2 logo.

The final episode is The Fool’s Guide To Movie Comedy starting with Leslie Nielsen.

Comedy God Carl Reiner.

The writing team of Lowell Ganz and Babaloo Mandel.

Airplane’s David Zucker

Damon Wayans, off of The Last Boy Scout

Wayne’s World director Penelope Spheeris

The legendary Gene Wilder

Buck Henry, writer of The Graduate

Director of Big, Penny Marshall

My uncle, Jonathan Lynn. (Only kidding, I don’t think he’s related to me.)

Actor Mike Myers

Another actor, Charles Grodin.

This is a really good documentary, better than the previous one because it concentrates on talking to people.

BBC Genome: BBC Two – 27th December 1992 – 21:05

After this, there’s a trailer for The Fabulous Baker Boys.

Then, an extended preview of new drama. The dramas featured are The Mushroom Picker, Mr Wroe’s Virgins, Edward II, Dead Romantic, The Long Roads and The Clothes in the Wardrobe.

Cybill – Father Ted – Roseanne – The Mark Thomas Comedy Product – tape 2259

This tape starts with the end of an episode of Brookside.

Then Cybill. Zoe brings her boyfriend to stay, and he’s the stupidest boy imaginable.

Maryann has gone to Vegas and is almost going to get married.

And we find that the dumb boyfriend was just a decoy, and she’s actually seeing his much smarter older brother.

After this, an episode of Father Ted. Dougal has some spine chilling reading material.

Father Jack has a mishap lighting his cigarette.

That would be an ecumenical matter.

Next, an episode of Roseanne. Roseanne and Jackie are working at the supermarket. Stan Freberg again guests, as the supermarket manager.

There’s a very brief appearance of Kathryn Joosten, Mrs Landingham off of The West Wing, as a customer.

There’s an interesting scene with Dan and David, where David is worried about DJ blowing off his homework drawing a cat to go to the movies with Mark, and he says maybe DJ shouldn’t hang around so much with Mark since he’s dumb, and Dan gets angry with him. Dan stands up for the dumb guy who nevertheless works as hard as he can to support his family. He clearly sees Mark as a younger him. While all David does is work part time at a pizza parlour and sit on the sofa making snarky jokes, despite being much smarter than his brother.

Still, it was probably the wake-up call he needed to move out, change his name, study physics to a phd level and move to California.

After this, an episode of The Mark Thomas Comedy Product. His film crew spend a day following around the man who was making millions from a video of things caught on CCTV cameras, who didn’t like it at all.

He also attends a meeting of the far-right Conservative group the Monday Club, and asks questions about whether young offenders should be publicly lashed on the National Lottery programme.

After this, recording continues briefly with the start of The Girlie Show, then switches to TFI Friday. There’s music from Cast.

A very short chat with Burt Bacharach.

There’s the first showing of a Reebok ad featuring a lot of celebs, themed around football, and he talks to Anna Friel, the only woman int he ad. Not that the interview discusses gender imbalance, as he’s more interested in her weight. At the start he actually points at her stomach and says “how are you going to get a baby in there?” It’s so relentlessly “Loaded” magazine.

There’s a slightly better bit when he asks her about crying on screen, as she’s said she thinks about her father being hurt, so they’ve got a camera crew at her house where her dad enacts some scenes of him hurting himself. This is the kind of stuff I prefer from Evans, not the banal tabloid gossip stuff.

After more music from cast, Ronald Fraser appears as “The Lord of Love”, this time without a hat on fire.

Gabrielle performs Bacharach’s classic Walk On By.

There’s another segment of At Home with Chris and Cher. They do the washing up, and wash some of their awards. Cher’s oscar and Chris’s Smash Hits award.

There’s an interview via satellite with Amanda Donohoe, talking about the Oscars.

Next, Shaun Ryder does Stars in their Eyes.

He and his band, Black Grape, do the Sex Pistols, Pretty Vacant.

Now, during the song, he swears an awful lot. And the live edition of show goes out at 6pm, way before the watershed, so after the performance Chris Evans has to apologise a lot for the swearing. But here’s the thing. They do the whole Stars in their Eyes thing like the old show used to. They interview him before, as himself, then he goes through the door filled with light and has the blond hair and dark glasses to do the performance. So either the initial interview or the performance was pre-recorded. And if the performance was pre-recorded, presumably they could have muted the swear words for the pre-watershed show. I’d be interested to know the details for this.

From the way the apology goes, I think the intro must have been the pre-record and the song was going out live.

Next guest is Richard Wilson. He does some science experiments.

He also fires a Pringles cannon at the audience.

Then the show closes with another song from Cast.

After this, recording continues with an episode of Beavis and Butthead. The best line in this is when they watch Sheena Easton. “She looks like some chick you might see hanging out in K-Mart.” I wonder if this joke was written knowing how Sheena Easton became famous in the first place (she was on a documentary series where ‘members of the public’ are given the chance to do things like present a TV show or, in her case, record a pop song, and this launched her entire career).

Then the tape ends during the start of another Derek Jarman movie, Jubilee.

Adverts:

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  • VW Golf
  • Daily Express
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  • National Lottery
  • McDonalds
  • AA
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  • Murphy’s
  • Renault Megane – Tony Gardner
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  • Honda
  • Casper on video
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  • trail: Big Mouth
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  • trail: Cutting Edge: Special Force
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  • Nissan Almera
  • Creme Eggs
  • The Times
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  • Emirates
  • The Beatles Anthology 2
  • trail: Big Mouth
  • trail: Gulliver’s Travels
  • Murphy’s
  • The Equitable Life
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  • Roysters
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  • Specsavers
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  • Pizza Hut – Murray Walker and Damon Hill
  • Now 33
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  • Wash & Go
  • Trainspotting in cinemas
  • Hyundai
  • The Times
  • The Best Rap Album in the World Ever
  • Mountain Dew
  • Now 33
  • Vauxhall Vectra
  • Head & Shoulders
  • Stella Artois
  • Dance Wars
  • Special Constabulary
  • Kiss FM
  • trail: Raising Arizona
  • Nike
  • Coca Cola
  • Kronenbourg 1664
  • The Times
  • National Lottery
  • Chatback
  • Terry’s Chocolate Orange Siesta
  • Bacardi
  • Roysters
  • McDonalds
  • trail: Rocket to the Moon
  • Vauxhall Corsa – Ruby Wax
  • Alton Towers
  • Carling No 1
  • Mountain Dew
  • Cadbury’s Dairy Milk – Dexter Fletcher
  • trail: NBA Raw
  • FT
  • Polaroid
  • Polo Spearmint
  • Wrangler
  • Roysters
  • Renault Megane – Tony Gardner
  • Special Constabulary
  • trail: Raising Arizona

Harry Enfield & Chums – tape 2257

This tape starts with yet another odd coincidence – the end of an episode of The X-Files on BBC1 and it’s an episode we saw on a different tape just two days ago, Syzygy, the one about the satanic cult/astrologically induced madness.

There’s a trailer for Ruby Wax Meets the Duchess of York.

Then, Harry Enfield and Chums. Tim Nicebutdim is helping out at the antique shop. We learn his middle name is Tim. Ron Donachie plays a customer.

The confused man is confused by the bins being emptied.

The lovely, wobbly, randy old ladies get some washing done.

The Self Righteous Brothers discuss Noel Edmonds.

The Old Gits brick up the Channel Tunnel.

The classic moment when Kevin the annoying kid becomes Kevin the teenager.

And Ben Elton himself appears as Benny Elton, a right-on version of Benny Hill.

It’s at this point I realised we’ve already seen this, on a tape of the original broadcast. Oh well.

Wayne breaks up with Waynetta, and embarks on an affair with Naomi Campbell.

BBC Genome: BBC One – 13th November 1996 – 22:15

Recording switches to the end of Newsroom South East, with a story about an artist possibly using dead bodies to make moulds for casting.

There’s weather from Bill Giles, and a trailer for Ruby Wax Meets Sharon Stone.

Then, more from Harry Enfield and Chums.

Doctor Whoareyoulookingat

I do like the Siblings sketches, especially for the oversized furniture.

Perry is into Oasis now.

I’m basically just repeating my previous blog entry, I think.

The Self Righteous Brothers are reflecting on the failure of the marriage of Charles and Diana.

BBC Genome: BBC One – 14th January 1997 – 21:30

Recording switches to the end of Newsroom South East. The story is yet another change in London telephone numbers

This is followed by Weather from Suzanne Charlton, and a trailer for Inside Story: Honey Trap.

There’s also a trailer for Match of the Day Live: Chelsea vs Liverpool.

Then, more Harry Enfield.

The considerably richer couple come visiting.

Tim Nicebutdim does Bungee Jumping.

The newly minted slobs, having won the lottery last week, have a golden bog. I love that their taste is identical to Trump’s.

Their butler is played by John Woodnutt.

BBC Genome: BBC One – 21st January 1997 – 21:35

There’s another bit of Newsroom South East before the next episode,

Weather from John Kettley, and a trailer for Inside Story. Plus a trailer for COmmon as Muck which also features Kathy Burke.

Then, more from Harry Enfield and Chums. The Old Gits love little kids. Just kidding.

Men Behaving Splendidly.

And Thank Goodness It’s Friday

Lucky old ladies

Tim Nicebutdim meets Dick Nicebutthick

BBC Genome: BBC One – 28th January 1997 – 21:30

Before the next episode, there’s a trailer for Inside Story: Megan’s Law. Then Newsroom South East leading with a train crash in Bexley.

There’s weather from Suzanne Charlton.

There’s a trailer for Friday Night Comedy.

Then more Harry Enfield and Chums. There appears to be a presentation glitch as it starts – you can hear a voice saying “Hello Network, I’ve still got my red lights on here” – it’s weather presenter Suzanne Charlton, who’s clearly still live.

I do feel sorry for Kevin’s dad, Stephen Moore.

BBC Genome: BBC One – 4th February 1997 – 21:30

After this, recording continues with a trailer for Carlito’s Way. And for Crimewatch UK.

Then, an episode of Inside StoryMegan’s Law looks at the laws in America that let local communities know when a sex offender is released into their community.

BBC Genome: BBC One – 4th February 1997 – 22:00

After this there’s a trailer for Diary of a Princess and for A Question of Sport.

Then, there’s the start of Sportsnight, with some football. The tape ends during this programme.

Star Trek – Voyager – The Simpsons – Seinfeld – tape 2223

First on this tape, Star Trek Voyager and Persistence of Vision. Janeway’s schedule is starting to get her down, so the doctor orders her to relax with her holonovel. Michael Cumpsty is letting his muttonchops do the talking.

The ship is contacted by an alien race who don’t like Voyager being in their space, and they start beaming psionic energy, leading to lots of hallucinations. Janeway’s holonovel starts leaking out into the ship, including yet another appearance by Carolyn Seymour in Star Trek as a homicidal housekeeper.

Tuvok dreams of Vulcan.

In the end, Kes and the Doctor are able to break the psionic spell, and the mysterious alien vanishes, so they don’t have to explain who or what he was.

After this, recording continues for a short time with the start of WWF Action Zone. Then recording switches.

Next, The Simpsons, and Lisa’s Wedding. Lisa gets a glimpse into her future.

She meets an absolutely insufferable English student (voiced by Mandy Patinkin) who’s the worst kind of privileged arsehole, so naturally she falls in love.

But of course, she realises that he’s a horrible person, and she loves her family more.

After this, recording switches to an episode of Seinfeld. In The Stall, Elaine runs out of toilet paper in her stall, and the woman next to her won’t give her any of hers. Elaine doesn’t know it’s Jerry’s new girlfriend (played by Jamie Gertz).

George and Kramer go rock climbing.

And Elaine gets her revenge.

After this, recording continues, and there’s a full episode of Duckman here, Grandma-ma’s Flatulent Adventure.

Recording stops after this programme.

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  • trail: Major League II
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  • Viennetta
  • Disneyland Paris – Space Mountain
  • Corn Flakes
  • Club Mix 96
  • Galaxy Fruit and Hazelnut
  • trail: Major League II
  • trail: Clear and Present Danger
  • trail: Tomorrow on Sky
  • Playmobil
  • Bird’s Eye Fish Fingers
  • Colgate
  • Tomy Multigym Walker
  • trail: Football
  • trail: Rugby
  • Kit e Kat
  • Cadbury’s Dairy Milk – Dexter Fletcher
  • Findus Lasagne
  • Clairol Ultress
  • Shreddies
  • Pedigree Chum
  • trail: April on Sky
  • Pepto Bismol
  • Always
  • Health Education Authority
  • trail: James Bond Season
  • trail: Oscars
  • Privilege Insurance
  • Johnson’s Baby Bath
  • Kleenex
  • Pampers
  • Clairol Ultress
  • Kronenbourg 1664
  • trail: Major League II
  • trail: Easter Movies on Sky
  • Oxo
  • Pedigree Chum
  • Abbey Life
  • Plenitude
  • Inland Revenue
  • trail: Wolf
  • trail: Tomorrow on Sky
  • Kronenbourg 1664
  • Persil
  • Dumbo on video
  • Abbey Life
  • Daily Mirror
  • Royal Navy
  • trail: Major League II
  • trail: Sky Sports
  • Polaroid
  • Gaviscon
  • Daily Mirror
  • Lux
  • Bacardi

The X Files – tape 2221

First on this tape, The X-Files and an episode called Nisei. It opens with an alien autopsy being performed by a group of Japanese doctors in a train car, that’s then invaded by armed men.

Mulder gets a videotape of the autopsy from a mail order advert, and when he goes to investigate the source, they find a dead man. More investigations leads Scully to a group of people who recognise her – they’ve all had an abduction experience in the last year.

The Lone Gunmen are consulted over the tape.

Scully recognises a Japanese doctor in a photo, but Mulder says he’s been dead since 1965. Scully has a flashback to her abduction, and remembers seeing the doctor’s face. She then recognises his face as one of the doctors in the alien autopsy video.

We see him, still alive, boarding a train to Canada that Mulder is following.

Mulder wants to get on the train, but Mr X, his secret informant, tells Scully he’ll be in great danger if he does. Naturally, Mulder ignores her warning, and does the whole jumping on the roof of a train thing. TO BE CONTINUED.

The next episode starts with a lot of army types storming some kind of dormitory which appears to be populated by alien-looking people. They are put into trucks, driven into the country, then unloaded and shot. All this while being watched by a much older alien-looking person.

Scully is told by Mr X that if she wants to know about her abduction, and who killed her sister, she’d have to find out about the implant she had put in her neck. She finds a link to a Japanese company – and the same doctor that Mulder is looking for on the train. Which leads her back to the dormitory from the opening, where she finds the few remaining people – leprosy sufferers. The place is supposed to be a research facility.

But the other people, the ones killed by the soldiers, were brought in much later. They weren’t suffering from leprosy, but they had deformed heads.

Mulder finds the Japanese doctor on the train, strangled, and finds another of the alien-looking men locked in a secure train car.

He’s attacked by the man who killed the doctor. He says he works for the NSA.

Scully is found by soldiers, and yet another shady man explains everything to her. The Japanese doctor had been conducting experiments on the lepers, on homeless people, the end result of which was people who look like aliens. Scully remembers that the train car in the autopsy video was where she was taken when she was abducted.

Time almost runs out when Mulder is rescued from the train car by the mysterious Mr X just before the bomb goes off.

So once again, nothing is resolved. Is it aliens? Is it government scientists conducting shady experiments. Are they just making it up as they go along? All of the above?

We skip a couple of episodes now, and come to Syzygy. There’s a famous face in the opening, a young Ryan Reynolds as a student, giving a eulogy for a fellow student. They believe there’s a satanic cult murdering children.

Two girls are afraid that, because the cult are targeting blond virgins, they might be next. They ask Reynolds for a lift home, and have a conversation about virgins being targeted, and how scared they are, and how much safer they would be if they weren’t virgins, so Reynolds pulls the car off the road.

Next morning, he’s found hanged, and the two girls are sitting up at the top of a cliff where the rope was secured.

Mulder and Scully are called in to help detective White investigate the case. They talk about the satanic cult rumours, talk about blond virgins, and Scully debunks them. Mulder asks “Do you think she’s a virgin?” and Scully replies “I doubt she’s even a blond.”

After Scully has finished poo-pooing the satanic rumours, the coffin catches fire.

The two girls continue their witchy killings, and the twonsfolk start getting a bit pitchforky. At one point they discover a bag belonging to the local pediatrician, buried on a field containing what they think are the bones of a child. They bang on the doctor’s door, which is alarming to him, as he’s relaxing in a nightie and makeup.

Mulder seeks information from the only reliable source in the town: An astrologer who won’t talk to him unless he pays her consulting fee. Yes, that’s how serious this is. She talls him about a once in a lifetime celestial convergence that’s causing everything.

There’s an impressive sequence when the two girls, having fallen out over a boy, are brought together in the police station, and all of a sudden furniture starts moving and everyone’s guns start discharging randomly. They had fun with this.

In the end it all resolves itself when Mulder puts the two girls in a cell until after midnight. An unsatisfying end to what was quite an entertaining episode.

The last episode on this tape is Grotesque. A serial killer is caught, but Mulder believes he’s possessed by an evil spirit, especially when a new victim is discovered, killed after the man is in custody. Kurtwood Smith plays the lead investigator, an agent whom Mulder knew at Quantico, and clearly didn’t get on with.

Another man is attacked, but he survives, although horribly mutilated. One of Smith’s agents had been bitten by the original killer. I wonder if that’s going to be significant?

Nope, he ends up dead, and made into a clay gargoyle.

It was Kurtwood Smith all along, presumably possessed by the evil spirit. Not a classic episode.

After this, recording continues with the start of an episode of Quantum Leap and the tape ends during that.

In the trailers, there’s a Sky Sports trailer about Newcastle featuring Kevin Keegan saying “I would love it if we beat them”. This is only remarkable because, only a couple of hours ago, Danny Baker tweeted that same image in a tweet about football today. Seriously, if I were remotely superstitious, this kind of thing happening constantly would push me into believing I was some divine being at the nexus of all known realities.

Adverts:

  • trail: Murder One
  • Miller Time
  • BT
  • Renault Megane – Tony Gardner
  • trail: Pulp Fiction
  • trail: Space: Above and Beyond/The Outer Limits
  • Toyota
  • Nizoral
  • Somerfield
  • Miller Genuine Draft
  • Barb Wire in cinemas
  • Toyota Corolla
  • trail: Football
  • trail: The Commish
  • Dance Zone 7
  • Fairy Ultra
  • Carte D’Or
  • Copycat in cinemas
  • Surf
  • The Best … In The World Ever
  • trail: Schwarzenegger’s Bank Holiday Season
  • trail: Pulp Fiction
  • Peugeot 306
  • Jeyes Parozone
  • Fruitang
  • Safeway
  • Coca Cola
  • Pantene
  • Boyz of Swing
  • trail: Strange Luck
  • trail: Space: Above and Beyond
  • Ericsson
  • The Sun – Hewitt – My Love for Diana
  • Lost Property
  • Wrigley’s Doublemint Gum
  • McDonalds
  • trail: The Client
  • trail: Space: Above and Beyond
  • Ace Biscuit
  • San Marco
  • Still Tango
  • British Meat
  • Magnum
  • trail: Boxing
  • trail: Space: Above and Beyond
  • Robinson’s Fruit & Barley
  • Nizoral
  • Specsavers
  • Robinson’s Fruit & Barley
  • trail: Sky Sports
  • trail: Only The Strong
  • Allied Dunbar
  • Hartley’s Jam
  • Sisters of Swing 2
  • trail: Quantum Leap
  • trail: Space: Above and Beyond
  • Sky TV Guide
  • Street Fighter on video
  • Scrumpy Jack
  • Ariel Futur
  • Too Good to be True
  • Ladykillers
  • Street Fighter on video
  • trail: Tomorrow on Sky
  • trail: Space: Above and Beyond/The Outer Limits
  • Ford Escort
  • Diet Irn Bru
  • Kleenex Quilted
  • Head & Shoulders
  • Viva Europop
  • Ford Escort
  • Fastext
  • trail: The Shadow
  • trail: The Feds
  • Dr Pepper
  • Orbit/Extra
  • Special K
  • Tetley
  • BT
  • trail: Surviving The Game
  • Bacardi Breezer
  • Viennetta
  • BT
  • AA Insurance
  • trail: Unsolved Mysteries
  • trail: Space: Above and Beyond/The Outer Limits
  • Funkmaster Mix
  • American Express Travellers Cheques
  • Solero
  • Up Close & Personal in cinemas
  • Vauxhall
  • McVities Digestives
  • True Brit
  • trail: The Feds
  • trail: Rugby
  • Ford Half & Half
  • Alanis Morissette – Jagged Little Pill
  • Futuroscope
  • Le Shuttle
  • Persil
  • trail: The Shadow
  • trail: Demolition Man
  • Peugeot 106
  • Vodafone – Kyle MacLachlan
  • Bravo
  • Trebor Extra Strong Mints
  • Boots Soltan
  • Peugeot 106
  • trail: Boxing/The Shadow
  • trail: The X Files
  • BT
  • Ryvita
  • Up Close & Personal in cinemas
  • Gillette Sensor Excel for Women
  • trail: The Specialist
  • trail: It Could Happen To You
  • trail: Space: Above and Beyond/The Outer Limits
  • Diet Irn Bru
  • Right Guard
  • Chrysler Neon
  • Somerfield
  • From Dusk Til Dawn in cinemas
  • Nestle Clusters
  • Johnson’s Suncare
  • Mr Kiplng
  • trail: Trial By Jury