Month: August 2016

Vic Reeves’ Big Night Out On Tour – A Late Lunch With Sir Les – The Armor Of God – tape 1308

First on this tape, Vic Reeves Big Night Out On Tour, from Newcastle City Hall.

The Man with the Stick

It’s a greatest hits from the TV series, and because the series actually started as a stage show, it works just as well. Assuming you like Vic Reeves, who doesn’t appeal to everybody.

It ends with a performance of his hit single, Dizzy, accompanied by Wonderstuff.

This is followed by A Late Lunch With Les, Sir Les Patterson presents a frank discussion about sex (surprise surprise).

Sir Les Paterson

With help from Clare Rayner

Clare Rayner

And Marie Helvin

Marie Helvin

There’s a man in the audience who says he uses aphrodisiac beer to ‘soften the ladies up’. Urk.

I like the credit “Dr Sir Les Patterson is the product of more than one country”

Next, the tape lapses into Long Play for Jackie Chan’s The Armour of God, a knockabout story clearly influenced by Raiders of the Lost Ark. The outtakes at the end start with footage of Chan getting seriously injured. But at least they continue with funny ones.

This is followed by an episode of Tonight with Jonathan Ross from New York. It’s a compilation episode featuring Michael J Fox

Michael J Fox

Meg Ryan – who appears a lot happier here than on her infamous Wogan interview.

Meg Ryab

Denis Leary

Denis Leary

Diana Ross

Diana Ross

Jodie Foster

Jodie Foster

Writer Mickey Spillane

Mickey Spillane

Lily Tomlin

Lily Tomlin

Penn & Teller do their cutting a snake into halves.

Penn & Teller

After this, channel 4 closes down with announcer Trevor Nicholls.


  • Babycham
  • Coal
  • Burger King
  • Harrods Sale
  • whirlpool
  • Fosters
  • Courts
  • Fosters
  • Midland
  • Pickford’s Travel
  • BT – Maureen Lipman and Richard Wilson
  • Essential Hardcore
  • Allied
  • trail: Forget about Me
  • Karaoke Challenge
  • Castlemaine XXXX
  • Yellow Pages
  • Furnitureland
  • Ford
  • Essential Hardcore
  • Party + Friends
  • trail: Kit and the Widow
  • Dry Blackthorn
  • Blood Transfusion
  • trail: New Year’s Eve on 4

Candide – tape 1307

Sticking with the Classical Music theme for this tape, which has what’s billed as the Definitive concert performance of Leonard Bernstein’s Candide, at the Barbican Centre, which turned out to be Bernstein’s last concert.

I’ll let Bernstein himself explain what it’s all about.

He also gives more background to the writing of the project in an introduction to Act 2.

Candide is a wonderful work. I’ve seen it performed, slightly abridged, in concert at the Proms, but never fully staged. It has some fabulous songs, and the overture is a masterpiece in itself.

BBC Genome: BBC Two – 28th December 1991 – 16:35

After this, there’s a trailer for Opera on BBC2. Then the News, leading with a ceasefire in Georgia. The recording stops during the sports news.

Proms 97 – tape 2442

This tape opens with the end of an episode of Making Babies. Then a trailer for The Beggar Bride with Keeley Hawes. And a trailer for Edward and Mrs Simpson: Going Going Gone.

Then, BBC Proms 1997 with the Kirov Orchestra playing two of my favourite pieces of music, Tchaikovsky’s Romeo and Juliet and Rimsky Korsakov’s Scheherezade.

BBC Genome: BBC One – 21st August 1997 – 22:55

There’s more Proms following this, for a live broadcast of the Dallas Symphony Orchestra. First they play Roy Harris’ Symphony No 3, not a piece I’m familiar with, but it’s pleasant enough.

It ought to be familiar, though, as I was at this prom. I can’t spot myself in the audience, but here’s a picture of my sister-in-law Miriam.

Miriam at the proms

Also there were other sister-in-law Clara and her best friend Christa, who were, at the time, huge fans of violinist Joshua Bell, who performs next, in Barber’s violin concerto. They would take every opportunity to see him perform when he was in London, and would regularly haunt him backstage for autographs. I would occasionally accompany them (along with my wife Bernadette), and join them backstage, and it was one of these occasions (possibly even this concert) where I fear I might have slightly offended Mr Bell.

I’d been with them a couple of times previously, and each time Christa asked for an autograph, he’d ask how to spell her name. “Is it K R Y”? he’d ask, and she’d have to tell him it’s CHRI. I joked to them on the journey home that you’d think, after all the times they’d met him, he’d remember how to spell it.

So, come the evening in question, when he inevitably asked the same question, I couldn’t suppress a laugh, and I think he noticed. I hope I didn’t offend him too much.

Joshua Bell

The interval has a profile of the orchestra,

The second half is a performance of Tchaikovsky’s 5th Symphony, not perhaps his best known, but I quite like it. I think it gets a bit forgotten, sandwiched between the 4th and 6th, both magnificent.

There are even three encores. The first is a piece by the American composer William Schuman, from his New England Triptych.

Next, some Gershwin, with a piece called Walking The Dog from the film Shall We Dance, featuring a nice clarinet solo.

And the orchestra end in fine style with their rendition of the Theme to Dallas, which got a huge reaction in the hall.

BBC Genome: BBC Two – 24th August 1997 – 19:30

After this, there’s a trailer for Edward and Mrs Simpson: Going Going Gone, then a trailer for It’s Ulrika! which frankly looks like it could have been a catastrophe. I don’t remember.

The tape ends after this.

The Simpsons – tape 1353

A tape full of the Simpsons here.

First it’s Dancing Homer, in which Homer becomes a dancing mascot for the local baseball team, then gets promoted to Capital City where he’s not quite as successful.

Dancing Homer

Next it’s Homer vs Lisa and the 8th Commandment. Lisa disapproves of Homer stealing cable TV.

In Brother can you spare two Dimes Homer’s brother (Danny DeVito) visits the Simpsons with an idea to build a new business – a machine that can translate what babies are saying.

Next it’s Kamp Krusty. The children go to Kamp Krusty and it’s not very nice. So Bart stages a takeover.

Bart of the Flies

Treehouse of Horror III has the stories Clown Without Pity featuring a cursed clown doll. King Homer is King Kong.

King Homer

And Dial Z For Zombies has zombies.

Next, in A Streetcar Named Marge, Marge performs with Flanders in a musical version of A Streetcar Named Desire. Maggie has to go to daycare.

Maggie's daycare

Amusingly, the city of New Orleans objected to their portrayal in this episode, so the next episode starts with this chalkboard gag.

I will not defame New Orleans

This episode is Homer the Heretic, in which Homer decides not to go to church.

Then recording stops, and underneath there’s a nondescript US police show of some kind that I don’t recognise. The tape ends after a few minutes of this.


  • Atmosfear
  • trail: The Bootroom
  • trail: E Street
  • trail: Teech
  • Pedigree Chum
  • Uncle Ben’s
  • My Little Pony Kitchen
  • Atmosfear
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  • EuroDisney
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  • Norwich Union
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  • Whiskas
  • Kellogg’s Corn Flakes
  • Flotex
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  • Alpen
  • Batman: Return of the Joker on Gameboy
  • Color Magic
  • UK Gold
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  • UK Gold
  • Woolworths – nice video game themed advert

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  • trail: The Heights/Melrose Place

Drop The Dead Donkey – tape 1262

Straight into an episode of Drop the Dead Donkey. In Gulf War Report, Emma Freud is grilling George about the failings of news organizations during the gulf war.

Emma Freud

Henry is raging about the young newscasters – Paxman, Suchet, Snow.

Sally is humiliated by a puppet crocodile on children’s TV.

Sally and the crocs

Dave is attracted to Sir Royston’s daughter. But when George warns him what happened to previous men who went out with her, he backs off, only to get Sir Royston complaining that he’s ignoring her. She’s played by a very young Hermione Norris.

Hermione Norris

The next episode, The Trevorman Cometh, sees the gang worrying about layoffs and pay cuts.

In the next episode, Henry and Dido, Sally has to bring her dog into the office.

Sally and her dog

She feeds it Belgian Chocolate so I’m surprised it’s not dead.

The next episode is Baseball. Trevor Cooper makes a guest appearance.

Trevor Cooper

There’s some enforced sport-based team building.

Enforced Jollity

The next episode is Drunk Minister. Clive Merrison is the eponymous Minister.

Clive Merrison

There’s also a running gag about Damian trying to do a piece to camera in a high street, and he keeps getting interrupted, ending with a great piano gag.

The newsroom is invaded by gay protesters.

The next episode is Alex and the Interpreter. A Russian dignitary visits the newsroom with his interpreter, and falls in love with Alex.

Damian isn’t getting the good stories, being beaten to the punch by Lynn Yeats. The voice of his cameraman is played by writer Andy Hamilton.

The next episode is Hoax. We actually get to meet Lynn Yeats, Damian’s competition (to his left).

Damian vs Lynn Yeats

This episode goes out just after Robert Maxwell killed himself.

Maxwell dies at sea

Recording stops shortly after this episode.


  • British Gas
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  • Sun Progress
  • Daily Mail
  • trail: The Gravy Train Goes East
  • OKI
  • Castlemaine XXXX
  • That Loving Feeling
  • Cellnet
  • Melitta
  • Vidal Sassoon Pump & Spray
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  • trail: The Ladykillers
  • trail: Ring My Bell/Dream On/The Word/Clive Anderson Talks Back
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  • Paul Young – From Time To Time
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  • Citrus Spring
  • Lloyd’s Bank – Jan Francis
  • Boursin
  • trail: Cheers
  • trail: The Gravy Train Goes East
  • Alta Rica
  • Sun Progress

Earth 2 – tape 2100

Here’s the first few episodes of Earth 2, one of the many TV shows over the years with that same premise (several of them created by Gene Roddenberry, I sometimes think).

Here’s the pilot, though. I looked at some later episodes some time back, and they didn’t make a lot of sense, as there’s an ongoing story about the planet.

So here’s a chance to catch up. It starts on a space station. The narrator, Debrah Farentino, tells us about her son, diagnosed with “a disease our medical community even hesitates to recognise. Not caused by the presence of a virus, but rather an absence. An absence of what nature can provide. An absence of fresh air, of fresh water, an absence of Earth.”

This condition appears to turn the kids into little proto-borgs.

Proto borg

All their high-technology, and they can’t make a kid’s medical accessories in nice colours?

The Eden project is supposed to take a lot of families with children like him, and find a planet which would provide the missing natural environment for them. But it looks like the evil space government don’t want them to succedd – they find a news report, scheduled for release  an hour after they’re going to launch, that the entire ship was destroyed in an explosion.

So the race begins to launch immediately, but also to find whatever explosive device the government has placed on the ship.

I like the model work in this pilot. I don’t know if it’s physical models or CG, but it’s really good.

Model Work

While arguing with the government bigwig (the always reliable David Clennon) they do this thing that really annoys me with people talking to viewscreens – having the person on screen match eyelines with the person they’re talking to, which makes no sense at all.


After 21 years of uneventful flight in cryogenic sleep, as soon as they all wake up, the ship gets into problems, the everyone has to evacuate. I know they need jeopardy, but why not just show how difficult it is even when things go right?

There’s an obligatory cute creature.

Obligatory Cute Alien

And some outrageous product placement.


There’s possibly intelligent life on the planet, contrary to all their previous information (which might have been filtered by the evil government).  Even the cute little alien shoots poison claws. The captain of the crew gets hit and dies, so they bury him.

There are also some mysterious other aliens who appear from afar. Naturally, an idiot in the group takes a potshot at them.

Looming Aliens

The aliens are trying to communicate with the colonists in their dreams. I am so sick of prophetic dreams. The Aliens have taken Farentino’s sick son, Ulysses (Uly) to learn about him, and when he’s found (by co-star Clancy Brown) he’s lost his Borg costume, and his pallor has improved significantly.

Ulysses Is Grand

They decide to try to find a spot to live in, and all set off travelling, but they’re watched ominously by Tim Curry as the episode swells to its conclusion.

Tim Curry

The next episode starts with Curry, who seems to have a chain gang of rejects from The Dark Crystal working for him.

Dark Crystal Rejects

What were they thinking with their title design? Yuck.

Earth 2 Title

Curry is found, injured, by the group, and tells them he’s been there for fifteen years. His ship was off course, and he thinks they’re a rescue team. He also tell them that the little rodents with the poisonous claws aren’t fatal, so they panic and rush back to where they buried the captain – and he’s no longer there. But he turns up safe and sound, and later unearths the truth about Tim Curry – his ship was a prison ship. But Curry kills him, and keeps his secret.

In the next episode, Curry sabotages the main vehicle, and they discover some cargo from the ship, some of which is a mystery. Until one of the metal vials in the box grows a horse. Strange that the people running the expedition didn’t know what kind of technology was sent with them.

Curry has fun manipulating the little kids in the group. But whiny kids and inactive parents aren’t my favourite thing in drama.

Farentino tells Clancy Brown she thinks the expedition is cursed. He replies “I’ve never been much of a believer in curses. I tend to think bad things happen for a reason.” Aren’t those statements slightly contradictory? Isn’t a curse a reason? Makes as much sense as ‘fate’ anyway.


After this episode, recording continues for a time, into an episode of Picket Fences. Oh dear. The actor Fyvush Finkel died 4 days ago, as I write this, and he was one of the regular cast of Picket Fences. I don’t think I can dodge responsibility for this one. I thought I’d dodged it when an earlier tape was down as Picket Fences but was actually the Diana Funeral, but here he is (in the credits, at least). I’m so sorry.

Fyvush Finkel


  • Nickelottery 2
  • Heinz Baked Beans
  • Persil
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  • trail: The Movie Show
  • Sky Viewing Card
  • British Lamb
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  • Lion Bar
  • trail: Sky Sports
  • trail: Coppers
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  • Direct Line
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  • NatWest
  • Ariel
  • trail: Guyver
  • trail: Star Trek The Next Generation
  • Energy Centre
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  • Batchelors Super Noodles
  • Bupa
  • The Disney Channel
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  • trail: November on Sky
  • trail: The Pelican Brief
  • Ford Mondeo
  • Windows 95 – an advert that seems to anticipate the new Square Windows logo 20 years ago.

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  • Shell
  • trail: Due South
  • trail: What’s Eating Gilbert Grape
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  • trail: Boxing
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  • Flora – Valerie Singleton, John Noakes
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Sheffield v Hemel

  • trail: Where Sleeping Dogs Lie
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  • Batchelor’s Noodle Creations
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  • trail: Star Trek Voyager
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  • trail: Cricket
  • trail: Sister Act 2
  • Somerfield
  • Kenco
  • Heinz Weightwatchers
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  • Pedigree Chum

The Jewel in the Crown – tape 2436

More from ITV’s landmark drama, first on this tape is episode 3: Questions of Loyalty. Daphne is pregnant, and going through with the pregnancy. She believes the baby is Kumar’s.

But she doesn’t survive the birth.

RIP Daphne Manners

Her Aunt Ethel is looking after the baby, and in the boat next door, Geraldine James (Sarah Layton) is relaxing with her mother, who’s getting annoyed at the baby crying.

Geraldine James

This is a classic drama set in India, so Peggy Ashcroft is a statutory obligation. She plays a character called Barbie.

Peggy Ashcroft

There’s a lot of flashback in this programme, and it’s a bit confusing.

Kumar’s case is still being discussed, and we learn that Merrick has been dismissed, because of problems with the evidence in the case. So he joins the army. His bunkmate is Nicholas Farrell as Teddy Bingham, who sounds like a character from Jeeves and Wooster.

Nicholas Farrell

He spots a broken lady’s bicycle in front of the barracks, with a strange symbol written in dirt. He tells Merrick, who obviously thinks of Daphne’s bicycle, a key piece of evidence in the case against Kumar, and one which many people thought was manufactured.

Teddy is Sarah Layton’s sister’s fiancee, by the way, so there’s a connection to Geraldine James.

The episode ends with the news that Miss Crane, a schoolteacher we met last episode, who had been attacked in her car (and who owned a copy of the eponymous painting of The Jewel in the Crown) had killed herself by burning herself alive in a shed, and the episode ends over a shot of the burning shed. This is grim stuff.

Still no sign of Charles Dance.

Next, it’s episode 4: Incidents at a Wedding. “Pankot 1943” reads the caption. Well thank goodness it’s after the events of Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom, otherwise the place would be swarming with heart-ripping Thuggee cultists.

But that’s not to say there aren’t crises. Teddy’s best man has fallen ill, so his hastily arranged wedding to Susan Layton is in jeopardy, until he realises he can ask Ronald Merrick to be his best man. Just the kind of dour, humourless automaton you’d want as your best man. I bet they spend the stag night drinking lemonade and listening to Souza records.

The wedding is bringing out the big guns of the acting world, with Rosemary Leach as a friend of the Laytons.

Rosemary Leach

Merrick is, at least, a ruthlessly efficient best man, arranging everything to the last detail.

At Pankot, we meet another acting great, Eric Porter, playing Blofeld lookalike Dimitri Bronowsky.

Eric Porter

And Saeed Jaffrey is the Nawab of Mirat.

Saeed Jaffrey

He’s invited to the wedding, but stopped at the door because, of course, he’s Indian. And when he’s presented to the bride’s mother, she appears to be stoned – there’s some kind of breach of protocol with his greeting. Either I’m missing something, or the programme doesn’t feel like explaining it.

On the way to the wedding, someone throws a stone at the limo carrying Merrick and Teddy. At the wedding, Bronowsky talks to Merrick about what happened in Mayapore with Daphne, and about the Indian agitator Pandit Baba, who Merrick was trying to get evidence about when he arrested Kumar.

We’re missing episode 5 here – either I missed recording it, or it’s on another tape. There are a couple more in my database.

To catch you up, we see Kumar again, in prison, questioned while Daphne’s aunt watches. Peggy Ashcroft (Barbie) gets a bit overcome at a wedding reception, as she’s still upset about her friend self-immolating. And Susan Layton gets the bad news that husband Teddy has been killed, not good news for a newly pregnant wife. But still no Charles Dance.

The next episode on this tape is episode 6: Ordeal by Fire. Barbie (Peggy Ashcroft) is still having bad dreams about Miss Crane who burned herself to death.

Sarah receives a letter telling her that Teddy was with Merrick when he died, and Merrick ‘rendered much assistance’. I bet he didn’t. But he did get injured. I think he was jealous of Eric Porter’s Blofeld impression, and decided he’d go for Phantom of the Opera.

Captain Merrick is there inside my mind

Sarah kindly lets him take a drag on her cigarette. So thoughtful and health conscious.

Merrick was indeed heroic in his own retelling of what happened.

Heroic rescue

Teddy was killed because he believed in the inherent goodness of the Indian soldiers, apparently. This event solidifies Merrick’s racist worldview.

Number of Charles Dance sightings to date: 0

Finally on this tape, episode 7: Daughters of the Regiment. Sarah is chatted up by Jimmy Clarke, an officer who’s almost as slimy as Merrick. “You’re not really plain. Quite pretty really.” Quite dreadful, and after all this he pretty much bullies her into sleeping with him, by belittling her and telling her that she should experience ‘joy’. Ghastly.

Creepy Jimmy Clarke

Sarah and Susan’s aunt Mabel dies, sitting in her sun chair next to Susan. Poor Susan, she’s not having much luck.

Barbie rushes back, and finds the household in rather a panic. They’re casting suspicion on their Indian manservant over teh death, and Susan has started her labour. Barbie can’t understand why they’re so suspicious of the Indians.

She’s very upset at Mabel’s death, and insists to Mrs Layton (Judy Parfitt) that Mabel should be buried next to her husband. Mildred’s disdain for Barbie is revealed by this confrontation, “You have the soul of a parlour maid.” So naturally, it’s all about class. None of this has really been made clear by the narrative, unless I missed an important conversation. Peggy Ashcroft gets to do some Bafta Nomination Scene acting.

Peggy Ashcroft Bafta Scene

The episode ends on a curiously flat note, with Sarah Layton arriving by train in Ranpur.

After this last episode, recording continues very briefly with the start of A Rage In Harlem.


  • Prudential
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  • trail: ER
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  • trail: Secret History: Gold Fever
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  • trail: Candyman