Author: VHiStory

In The Red – Buffy The Vampire Slayer – tape 2785

This tape opens with the end of some Cricket. The sound on this tape is much like on the recent tape of The Nutcracker – the Hi-Fi has a horrible buzz, and it keeps dropping down to mono. There’s also a lot of horizontal banding, so I think this is just a damaged tape.

After a trailer for Wimbledon and Spoonface Steinberg, we have the final episode of a three part drama, In The Red. My database doesn’t have any trace of the other two episodes, so all I’ve got to go on is this one. At least it has a ‘previously on’.

Someone has been murdering bank managers. There’s a by-election, and a new party, The Reform Party, are expected to sweep the election. But the murderer is caught by BBC Radio reporter George Cragge (Warren Clarke).

John Bird and Stephen Fry are plotting to discredit BBC Television, so that Radio will become important again (I think that’s their plan).

Their plan is to have a live religious entertainment programme that will offend everyone. They put John Sessions in charge, a promotion from his previous job as a Radio Personnel Officer. “We won’t burn the Quran until the dress rehearsal.”

Alun Armstrong plays the police officer investigating the murders.

I keep seeing the League of Gentlemen in fleeting roles – I think they were probably more prominent in earlier episodes, Here’s Steve Pemberton standing in a by-election.

They don’t miss a chance to show Television Centre.

Keith Barron introduces John Sessions to his production team. Sessions is surprisingly clueless for someone who works at the BBC, even though he’s supposed to be in HR.

Rik Mayall plays Dominic De’Ath, a slimy economist and brother to the governor of the Bank of England.

Siobhan Redmond plays, I’m guessing, a dominatrix.

I think this might be Simon Ward, but he’s not credited on iMDb. Ah no, it’s Robert Addie.

Lee Ingleby plays a worker for the Reform Party. He’s the shy nerdy guy who doesn’t realise that his awfully attractive coworker is throwing herself at him, a staple in these dramas, especially when it’s adapted by Malcolm Bradbury.

The BBC Director General, sacked by the governors after Sessions’ religious show outrages the public, is played by Michael Wearing – actually a senior producer at the BBC, responsible for tons of fantastic shows, including Edge of Darkness.

Richard Wilson plays the Chairman of Governors.

Sally Phillips plays a radio newsreader.

Rebecca Front is her producer.

Richard Griffiths plays the leader of the Reform Party.

This last episode was actually fairly entertaining, although hoisted up massively by it’s amazing cast. I’m now hoping the other two episodes turn up on another tape – a lot of these tapes weren’t catalogued at the time, so it’s entirely possible it’s on the end of another tape.

BBC Genome: BBC Two – 9th June 1998 – 21:00

After this, it’s over to Sky for an episode from the second season of Buffy The Vampire SlayerPhases. You know how a few days ago, I mentioned a statue in Bugs reminded me of the cheerleader statue in Buffy. Well, here’s another episode that refers to the same statue, as Oz says “It’s like its eyes follow you around the room.”

The episode is prefaced by a very brief bit from Buffy’s stunt coordinator, Dean Ferrandino.

I like this episode. A werewolf is menacing people in Sunnydale, so the gang have to track it down. One suspect is bully Larry, whose recently had a bite on his arm. I like the scene in Gym where they’re doing self defence, and he says to the girl he’s paired up with “Be still my shorts. We’re in the same group. I may have to attack you.”

The girl is nervous. “No, actually, I think, in a group, there are a few of us.” Buffy slides into shot. “And I’m one of the few.” Suddenly, Larry is the nervous one. I love how Buffy’s reputation is growing at the school.

In fact, Larry’s story in this episode is my favourite thing about it. Xander confronts him in the locker room and tells him he knows his secret. So Larry admits the truth – that he’s gay. Now, admittedly, there’s a tiny bit of gay panic in Xander’s reaction, but I might just be reading more into it.

The search for the werewolf is made harder because there’s a hunter in town, Cain (Jack Conley), who wants the wolf’s pelt.

The big twist in this episode is the discovery that the werewolf is Oz, at the time, Willow’s boyfriend. This season had quite a few twists.

In fact, another wrinkle here is that Angel has recently lost his soul (after sleeping with Buffy) so he’s evil, and he kills a girl, making it look like the werewolf is killing people rather than just menacing them.

But it’s all good by the end, and Willow and Oz are dealing with the new reality.

Incidentally, look how much Sky care about their viewers. Plastering lottery numbers over a show while it’s running, rather than waiting the one minute until the show was over to show the lottery numbers. Or, I don’t know, don’t bother showing them at all. Sky has always been horrible.

After this, the tape runs for a few minutes, with the start of an episode of Cops. The tape ends after a few minutes.

Adverts:

  • trail: Sky One
  • trail: Sunday on Sky One
  • VW
  • Lynx Apollo
  • Somerfield
  • Godzilla in cinemas
  • Mail on Sunday
  • I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter
  • Kodak Photo Service Plus
  • B2
  • trail: Tuesday on Sky One
  • trail: The Movie Show
  • Ford Ka
  • Boots Advanced Photo System
  • Mail on Sunday
  • Spice World Playstation Game
  • Vanish
  • Nike
  • trail: The Mirror Has Two Faces
  • trail: Bloody Foreigners
  • trail: Sleepers
  • Fiat Seicento
  • Bernard Matthews Twizzlers
  • Carte D’Or
  • Starship Troopers on video
  • Ariel Futur
  • Wash & Go
  • Wrigley’s Orbit
  • Fairy Liquid
  • Magnet
  • Southern Comfort
  • trail: Star Trek Voyager
  • trail: Beavis and Butthead Do America
  • Mars Ice Cream
  • Mail on Sunday
  • Citroen Xsara – Claudia Schiffer
  • trail: August Movies
Advertisements

South Park – TFI Friday – Jo Whiley – tape 2750

On this tape, more from Channel 4. It’s another tape with a couple of recordings, and the rest just filled up with the rest of the evening schedule.

First, South Park – Pinkeye. I have to confess that I find South Park a little tiresome now. I think I probably thought it was cool and edgy in 1997, but these days, edgy tends to be a marker for more suspect intentions. Usually, it turns out, misogyny, and there’s a lot of casual misogyny here.

This first episode is, at least, a Hallowe’en special, so there’s zombies.

Next is an episode called Cartman’s Mom is a Dirty Slut. Cartman wants to find his father. Another desperately misogynistic episode.

Recording continues, and we have another episode of TFI Friday. I’m quite surprised how many of these I have. But if you can ignore the relentless laddishness, sometimes there are some good TV moments. Although the opening joke probably can’t be described that way. “Richard, Cliff. Cliff, Richard.”

I did enjoy the opening of the show, though, where host Cedric De Havilland-Daley (the proprietor of the local cafe who features regularly) shows a clip of Chris Evans at the labour Party Conference, dancing badly, with Mo Mowlam.

There’s music from The Montrose Avenue.

FIrst guest is Jenny McCarthy. Not particularly famous over here, but infamous for being one of the figureheads of the anti-vaccination movement in the US. I’m not a fan. Plus, all the questions were about cosmetic surgery and posing for playboy.

Next guests are Richard and Judy.

Music from Dave Stewart

With a rather impressive trio of backing singers – Natalie Imbruglia

Kylie Minogue

and Sinead O’Connor.

Next guest is Cliff Richard.

He gets to meet his puppet from his appearance in Thunderbirds.

Closing the show, music from The Cardigans.

Next, another achingly hip music show, with Jo Whiley.

Guests are Jay Kay

Karl Hyde of Underworld.

and Bjork.

So achingly hip that they’re still talking about the Sex Pistols.

After this, the recording plays out with about 90 minutes of an Amicus production, From Beyond The Grave. And I’m quite miffed that I don’t have the whole movie, because I’m sure I would have enjoyed it a lot more than anything else on the tape. And it features Nyree Dawn Porter, one of the great names to use as the punchline in a joke. “The winners, in reverse order: Porter Dawn Nyree” was a Morecambe and Wise joke, I think.

Adverts:

  • Vauxhall Vectra
  • Tekken 3
  • Heineken
  • Rolo
  • Vauxhall Masterfit
  • Adidas – Prince Naseem
  • Heinz Baked Beans
  • Divorcing Jack in cinemas
  • Maybelline
  • Bodyform
  • One 2 One
  • Nintendo 64
  • Royal Mail
  • Pantene
  • Honda Accord
  • trail: The Big Breakfast
  • Air Canada
  • Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels in cinemas
  • KFC
  • Rimmel
  • Soft & Gentle
  • Kinder Egg
  • Vision Express
  • Vodafone
  • Gay Cruise
  • Mercury Rising in cinemas
  • Mercedes A-class
  • Miller Genuine Draft
  • McDonalds
  • Singles Network
  • Oil of Ulay
  • Heinz Tomato Soup
  • The Truman Show in cinemas
  • Fanta
  • Friends chatline
  • Miller Genuine Draft
  • HMV
  • Wrigley’s Spearmint Gum
  • Anastasia on video
  • Bodyform
  • Nytol
  • Setlers Wind-eze
  • Renault Scenic
  • The Gateway
  • trail: The Big Breakfast
  • Daily Telegraph
  • Oil of Ulay
  • Friends chatline
  • Kronenbourg 1664
  • Alcatel
  • Quality Street
  • Vauxhall Astra
  • The Gateway
  • trail: The One Where Johnny Makes Friends
  • Audi
  • Singles Network
  • Homepride Potato Bake
  • Royal Mail
  • British Gas
  • Nytol
  • Setlers Wind-eze
  • Burger King
  • Anastasia on video
  • John Smith’s
  • Gay Cruise
  • trail: Forget Paris
  • Coca Cola
  • Centrum
  • Goldfish Card
  • L’Oreal Revitalift
  • Party On
  • Valerina
  • Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels in cinemas
  • Homepride Potato Bake
  • KFC
  • Vauxhall Vectra
  • Singles Network
  • Sky Digital
  • Lynx Apollo
  • Gay Cruise

24 – Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps – Diners – Friday Night with Jonathan Ross – The Practice – tape 2776

It’s over to BBC Choice for another episode of 24. Jack Bauer is on the run, looking for his family, who are being held on a farm somewhere. It’s 11am-12pm. Jack’s asking for satellite images to be downloaded to his palm pilot.

Teri and Kim have killed one of their captors. So they wait to be discovered, or shoot their way out.

Palmer knows that someone is going to kill Dr Ferragamo, his son’s psychistrist who knows the son killed his sister’s rapist. He’s trying to stop it without incriminating himself.

Jack gets into the kidnapper’s base and finds his family.

Acting CTU director Alberta Green is grilling Tony Almeida about Jack and his plans. She thinks Tony is hiding something.

Hey look, it’s Al Leong as one of Andre Drazen’s heavies. You’ll remember him from Die Hard, or Big Trouble in Little China.

There’s a big shoot out at the end of the episode, and Jack is split up from Kim and Teri again.

BBC Genome: BBC Choice – 19th May 2002 – 22:45

There’s a squeezed trailer for Two Pints of Lager… during the 24 credits. I hate this.

There’s also trailers for The Experiment, and for Sunday Night Premieres (including The Kumars at No 42)

Then, and episode of Two Pints of Lager and a Packet of CrispsCrusty Curtains. This wasn’t my cup of tea when it was on, and I was in my 30s, and it’s even less so now.

BBC Genome: BBC Choice – 19th May 2002 – 23:30

There’s a burst of 60 seconds – short news headlines.

There’s also a trailer for the World Cup.

Then, an episode of Diners, the show in which people eat at a restaurant and their scintillating conversations are recorded.

Often the kinds of people I think I’d loathe if I met.

Some are semi-famous. Well, I’ve heard of Dani Behr.

Some are more famous – like Jenny Eclair

and John Oliver. Yes, the now world famous John Oliver. Who was Jenny’s support act at the time.

There is a great punchline to the swingers’ table. At the end of the meal, during which they’ve shared the most lurid details of their swinging, they exchanged numbers, but “Dean says ‘They’re not our kind of people’ and won’t be making contact.”

Here’s the bits with John Oliver and Jenny Eclair, just for interest.

BBC Genome: BBC Choice – 20th May 2002 – 00:00

There’s trailers for Liquid Eurovision Preview, and Eminem’s Mum.

Then, an episode of Friday Night with Jonathan Ross. This was early on in the run, and he’s still talking to his sidekick, programme consultant Andy Davies, at the start of the show.

The first guest is George Best.

Davina McCall, still the presenter of Big Brother.

Final guest is the lovely Sanjeev Bhaskar.

BBC Genome: BBC Choice – 20th May 2002 – 00:30

After this, there’s that dreadful BBC Search advert that I mentioned a little while ago.

There’s also a trailer for The Kumars at Number 42.

Then, an episode of the US legal drama The Practice. I’ve never watched this before. It stars Lara Flynn Boyle.

Dylan McDermott

Breaking Bad’s Anna Gunn

McDermott is defending John Laroquette, a man who stabbed his boyfriend in the chest and killed him. He’s probably guilty as sin.

BBC Genome: BBC Choice – 20th May 2002 – 01:15

After this, trailers for Eurovision Party, and the World Cup.

Then BBC Choice closes down.

Bugs – Jo Brand – Like It or Lump It – King of the Hill – TFI Friday – tape 2763

This tape opens with the end of a National Lottery show, a trailer for Michael Palin’s Full Circle, and for Casualty.

Then, an episode of BugsHappy Ever After? The team are running security at the wedding of an important person’s daughter.

They have terrible perimeter security, as a bloke is able to drive right up to the church gate, wander in, chuck a flashbang to distract everyone, then grab the bride and bundle her into their car.

I don’t trust the fiancee, who seems very keen on acquiescing to the kidnappers’ demands for the father to shut down a huge water distribution scheme.

Ros is injured during an attempt to rescue the victim. There’s some continuing sotry here, as Ros is going to go to America with her rather boring boyfriend to take up a really good job there, and Beckett won’t tell her how he feels

New hire Alex (Paula Hunt) seems to spend a lot of time holding on to railings from a great height.

Sure enough, the fiancee was behind the kidnap. He runs a drilling company which would lose business of the national water grid starts up. Check out the olde worlde Internet Explorer. No idea what that email address is, though.

Ed and Julia, the kidnapped bride, trying to escape from the evil fiancee, get trapped in the brand new water distribution system. Worse, the villain intends to blow it up, so things are looking bleak for them.

I’ll say one thing for Bugs – they found a lot of great looking locations. This one looks like it was designed by Ken Adam for a Bond movie.

The villain is defeated, but his timer has started running, and Beckett has to try to disable it. Luckily, Ros has risen from her sick bed and is back at the computer, her spiritual home, to guide him. And at the end of the episode, she dumps boring boyfriend to stay in Blighty with Beckett and co.

BBC Genome: BBC One – 30th August 1997 – 20:10

Before the next epsisode, there’s the very end of an episode of Confessions. Then there’s a trailer for The Locksmith and a trailer for Casualty.

Then, another episode of BugsBuried Treasure. It opens with this creepy statue which reminds me so strongly of the cheerleader statue from the episode Witch. that ends up trapping someone inside it. That doesn’t happen in this show.

Someone is using computers to release prisoners.

It features Murray Melvin, who I only remember as a very creepy character in Torchwood.

Ed is ‘on compassionate leave’ – I didn’t understand why, so either there was an explanation I missed, or it was never explained. He’s visited by an old girlfriend, played by Simone Bendix. I’m wracking my brain trying to think why that name is familiar, but I had to look her up to learn it was from Space Precinct.

Check out that cutting edge tech gear.

They track another prisoner who’s been released to try to get information about who’s behind it, but Alex ends up tossing him off a multi storey car park. I did think the show was about to do a Jed Mercurio and throw Alex off, but no, it’s a bloke we’ve only just seen, who’s a bad guy too, so no great loss. Plus they couldn’t afford a fall stunt so it’s all done with cuts.

All the art heist stuff is being arranged by Ed’s old friend. Beckett poses as the prisoner they dropped from the car park, and Ed’s already been involved, so it’s slightly tense.

Bendix doesn’t trust Beckett, so tries to blow him up. It’s not a good series for the health of the cast, is it?

Bendix doesn’t seem to trust any of her team, and keeps bumping them off, even trying to get rid of Ed.

Craig MacLachlan gets to do some stunt fighting.

Bendix escapes in a helicopter, but it’s been shot, so she loses control and crashes. Bet it’s the classic cheat way of crashing a helicopter, where it falls behind some trees, then they cut to an explosion. They even did this in Superman II, which you’d think could at least afford a helicopter miniature. So it’s no shame for Bugs to pull this trick.

Ros and Beckett almost have a moment.

BBC Genome: BBC One – 6th September 1997 – 19:00

After this, recording switches to Channel 4 and the end of an episode of Frasier.

Then, Jo Brand – Like It or Lump It. This was a short series of touring stand-up which featured far too little stand-up, when compared with the fake ‘business’ of Jo and her touring team, which features Ricky Grover

John Sparkes

Malcolm Hardee and Mandy Knight

Frankly, I’d have preferred to just have the stand-up and dispensed with the ‘touring’ drama altogether.

After this, there’s an episode of King of the HillShins of the Father. Hank’s father comes to visit for a family party, and he’s so offensive and (particularly) sexist that it starts rubbing off on young Bobby.

I’m sure I’ve mentioned before how I don’t really like this show. Partly it’s because I don’t particularly like the characters that much, but mostly because there’s no reason at all for it to be an animated series, which seems like a total waste of a medium.

After this, there’s an episode of TFI Friday. Yeah, much the usual thing, leery and laddish. And it seems to think we’re terribly interested in Will MacDonald, one of the production team. I’m not sure why.

There’s music from a band called Third Eye Blind. I’d never heard of them, because they started in 1993, after my cut-off from paying attention to popular music.

Except, literally the day after watching this tape, this pops up on my Twitter feed. The day after. How is this happening, and how can I use it for the benefit of all humanity? Answers in the comments, please.

After some nonsense with the oversized playing cards from Play Your Cards Right, there’s more music, this time from Bjork. I’ve heard of her.

There’s a baby tiger.

The final guest is Robbie Coltrane.

Because he’s interested in engines (no really) they bring in a miniature but fully functional jet engine.

The show closes with music from M People. I’ve heard of them too. I even know their lead singer is Heather Small, but sadly I really only know that from the running gag in Miranda.

After this, the tape plays out with the start of Way of the Dragon. The tape ends about 15 minutes in.

In the adverts, there’s one for Anglian Windows featuring Chris Barrie playing a very close approximation of Gordon Britass.

Adverts:

  • trail: King of the Hill
  • trail: Equinox
  • Air Canada
  • Renault Scenic
  • Prudential
  • Bodyform
  • Foster’s Ice
  • trail: Raising Arizona
  • Vauxhall Corsa
  • Cable & Wireless
  • Smint
  • Cable & Wireless
  • Sony MiniDisc
  • Cable & Wireless
  • Anglian Windows – Chris Barrie
  • Sony MiniDisc
  • trail: Carry On…
  • Goldfish Card
  • Pizza Hut – Luke Perry
  • Budweiser
  • VW Polo
  • B&Q
  • Specsavers
  • Contact in cinemas
  • trail: Cutting Edge: The Complainers
  • Cable & Wireless
  • Air Force One in cinemas
  • Cable & Wireless
  • Rolo
  • Cable & Wireless
  • Pantene
  • Star Trek First Contact on video
  • Foster’s Ice
  • trail: NFL
  • Spawn in cinemas
  • University of North London
  • Tic Tac
  • Listerine – Keith Allen
  • Twister on video
  • Dance Nation 4
  • trail: Moviewatch
  • Vauxhall Vectra
  • Star Trek First Contact on video
  • Bacardi Breezer
  • Air Force One in cinemas
  • Guinness
  • The English Patient on video
  • Dance Nation 4
  • Club Hits 97/98
  • Clearasil Complete
  • Virgin Atlantic – Helen Mirren
  • KFC – Ryan Stiles
  • Contact in cinemas
  • Audi Quattro
  • Dance Nation 4
  • trail: Raising Arizona
  • Virgin Atlantic – Helen Mirren
  • Ford Mondeo
  • Scottish Widows
  • Pringles
  • Clubland 2
  • Hugo
  • Imodium
  • Carlsberg
  • Levis
  • trail: Moviewatch

The Nutcracker – Don Quixote – tape 2784

Two programmes from Christmas 2001. First it’s The Nutcracker, part of a BBC 2 Ballet at Christmas strand. It’s introduced by dancer Deborah Bull.

I have to admit, Ballet doesn’t do much for me, so this tape is one recorded because my wife does like it. Unfortunately, this isn’t one of the best recordings, and the soundtrack has a terrible buzz on it, which usually happens because the tracking was slightly off. I don’t know enough about the technical details of VHS recording to know whether this buzzing is permanently part of the recording, or whether I could adjust something to improve the sound. Happily, my tapes are usually not as bad as this, and when I was doing all of this digitization, I did have to clean the recording heads regularly, but this one is pretty bad. It also keeps flipping out of Hi-Fi sound into mono, which is another clue that the tracking is really off.

There’s not really much I can say about the ballet itself, It’s all very sumptuous, the music (by Tchaikovsky) is lovely (buzz notwithstanding) and there’s a young boy in it who looks like he’s being played by Christian Bale.

BBC Genome: BBC Two – 25th December 2001 – 12:55

After this, there’s a trailer for The English Patient.

Then, another ballet, this time Don Quixote, with choreography by Rudolf Nureyev. It’s the story of mad old buffer Don Quixote and his manservant Sancho Panza. And windmills, I think. Here’s Don Quixote.

And here’s Sancho Panza.

And I can’t shake the feeling that they’re played by Rik Mayall and Ade Edmondson, and this is a ballet version of Bottom.

BBC Genome: BBC Two – 25th December 2001 – 15:10

After this, there’s a trailer for Arena: The Private Dirk Bogarde and The Night Porter. Then the tape ends.

 

Eurovision – Eurotrash – ABBA – The Movie – tape 2757

(Apologies for the late posting.)

On this tape, a Channel 4 Theme Evening. Not sure why C4 were celebrating Eurovision – given it’s a BBC institution – but I guess the Eurotrash tie in was irresistible.

So first, it’s A Song for Eurotrash. This is partly Eurotrash as expected – frequent semi-naked women, porn stars and voiceover which, by virtue of it being done in various regional accents, manage to insult not only the Europeans but also the British.

But it’s also a competition in itself, as a handful of Eurovision ‘classics’ are recording by then-current pop artists, and there’s a phone vote for the rest of the evening.

So, we get a combination of smooth-as-a-bar-of-galaxy French crooner Sacha Distel and modern beat combo Dubstar (who, I have to say, I don’t know at all, probably because they rose to prominence after 1992 which, as I’ve mentioned before, was the year I stopped paying attention to pop music). They do a number called ‘Poupee de cire, Poupee de son’ which means ‘Puppet of Wax, Puppet of Sound’. It’s not one of the best known, but it was a winner in 1965, and was composed by legendary creep Serge Gainsbourg (of ‘Je T’aime’ fame).

Edwyn Collins does a cover of ‘Ding a Dong’, Teach-In’s winner for the Netherlands, and actually one of my favourite Eurovision winners.

Bananarama do a quite creditable cover of Abba’s Waterloo. If you’re wondering why they’re in wedding dresses (it’s not explained in the show) it’s probably because of Muriel’s Wedding, out a few years ago (and on Channel four around this time).

There’s a slightly more mournful, but still in a major key, version of Dana’s All Kinds of Everything by Sinead O’Connor and Terry Hall off of The Specials (not Terry Hall the ventriloquist – although I’d probably watch Lenny The Lion doing a cover of Bardo’s One Step Further).

Then, there’s legendary broadcasting titan Lauren Laverne, in her original pre-evolution form as the lead singer of Kenickie, doing a suitably emo-sounding version of Brotherhood of Man’s winner, Save Your Kisses for Me.

St Etienne, another band I’ve heard of but never actually heard, do a cover of a Spanish winner, ‘He Gives Me Love (La La La)’.

Then there’s Shane McGowan who manages to simultaneously look old and young, covering Johnny Logan’s winner for Ireland, ‘What’s Another Year?’

That’s the songs dealt with, but the show also covers some Eurovision trivia, like a visit with Norway’s Jahn Teigen, whose ‘Mil Etter Mil’ was the first song ever to get nul points at the contest.

I remember this song (or at least the chorus) quite well, because it was featured on a programme that Stephen Pile made to tie in with his very popular book, The Book of Heroic Failures, which is a programme that, despite me only seeing once, I still have one of those crystal clear memories of watching, although only this section remains in my memory.

 

The magnificent Katie Boyle pops up as a guest presenter, although of course, Antoine has to talk about how she wasn’t wearing underwear in one of the tight satin dresses she had to wear. This programme really is the worst.

The real Dana pops up briefly.

But guess who Eurotrash is more interested in? Yes, Dana International, Israel’s winning performer that very year, and controversial for being transgender.

There’s another section about a porn performer (which includes Eurotrash favourite Cicciolina) which is only barely about Eurovision. If you want to see all of Eurotrash summarised in a single image, here it is.

After this, the next programme is Graham Norton’s Eurovision Masterclass.

There’s a strange montage of famous people reading out possible lyrics, including one Boris Johnson, on message as usual, with “Europe’s groovy, Europe’s slick. Cappucino, Ich Liebe Dich.” I didn’t see that one on the side of a bus. (not pictured, vile neo-nazi newspaper columnist (hang on, that might be confusing here) Gary Bushell with “Keep your hairy women and your piss poor beer, cause we don’t want your EMU here.”)

Professor David Cope says he can synthesize the perfect Eurovision song by teaching a computer all the winners. The results prove him to be very mistaken.

What nightmare is this? Can everyone see the clown?

After this, and another reminder of the phone numbers for the Eurotrash phone in, we get ABBA – The Movie. I’m sure I’ve told this story before, but by rights I should resent this movie. We made a special trip to Watford to see Star Wars, but it was sold out, so we went to another cinema to watch ABBA The Movie, and since I was already a fanatical Star Wars fan (without even seeing it yet) I should have hated missing it. But it’s ABBA, and a great movie too, so I learned patience.

Here’s the other tape with this movie on it, so you can see what I thought. I had most of those thoughts again this time, so at least I’m consistent.

During this movie there’s another plug for the phone vote. Then afterwards, we get the results. In third place, Kenickie with Save All Your Kisses for Me, Sinead O’Conner and Terry Hall are in second, with All Kinds of Everything, and to nobody’s surprise, Bananarama are Number One with Waterloo.

Then, the rest of the tape is another song contest, this time the Schweppes Euro BaSchhh… It’s presented by Sara Cox and Jeff Green.

They even have a jury, featuring Jazzie B.

Ultra Naté

Another appearance from Jamie Theakston

Top of the Pops producer Chris Cowey

and Mary Ann Hobbs.

None of the bands here are really my thing, all indie guitars and out of tune singing. The tape ends during this.

In the adverts, there’s a Metz advert, and I’ve only just realised that the barman with an eyepatch was a very young Julian Barratt.

There’s also an Orange advert where they seem to predict everything that’s going to happen, whilst simultaneously implying that all their predictions are bad. What, going outside is better than playing videogames online with your friends? That’s unpossible.

Adverts:

  • trail: The One Where Johnny Makes Friends
  • trail: The Big Breakfast
  • trail: Muriel’s Wedding
  • Metz – Julian Barratt
  • Honda
  • Carling Black Label
  • Del Monte
  • Kit Kat
  • Vauxhall Corsa
  • Specsavers
  • Orange
  • Scream 2 in cinemas
  • Calder’s Cream Ale
  • trail: Killer Net
  • trail: The Big Breakfast
  • V2
  • Boots Opticians
  • Renault Laguna – Steve Jones
  • BT
  • Wilkinson Sword
  • Abbey National – Alan Davies
  • trail: The Madness of King George
  • Vauxhall Corsa
  • Knorr Micro Noodles
  • Egypt
  • Bud Ice
  • Ikea
  • Metz – Julian Barratt
  • trail: The Tourist Trap
  • Seat Ibiza
  • Calder’s Cream Ale
  • Motorhead – Playstation
  • Scream 2 in cinemas
  • American Express – Jerry Seinfeld
  • V2
  • trail: The Big Breakfast
  • trail: Muriel’s Wedding
  • Butterkist Popcorn
  • Always Ultra
  • Kit Kat
  • Ford Fiesta
  • Almay
  • Surf
  • Schweppes
  • L’Oreal Plenitude Futur.e
  • Walt Disney World
  • Virgin Holidays
  • trail: Killer Net
  • trail: The One Where Johnny Makes Friends
  • Pantene
  • Sky
  • Kotex
  • Right Guard – Desmond Lynam
  • Dr Pepper
  • Tic Tac
  • Terry’s Chocolate Orange Bar – Dawn French
  • trail: Muriel’s Wedding
  • Galaxy Caramel Swirls
  • Cheerios
  • Redline
  • Ikea
  • Pringles
  • Renault Laguna – Steve Jones
  • Ryvita
  • Scream 2 in cinemas
  • Schweppes
  • trail: The Madness of King George
  • trail: Killer Net
  • Schweppes
  • Honda
  • Orange
  • Chat line
  • Carling Black Label

Buffy The Vampire Slayer – Angel – tape 2759

Over to Sky One now, and we get the end of an episode of The Simpsons.

Then, Buffy The Vampire SlayerAll the Way. It’s Halloween so the gang are all helping out at the Magic Box.

Anya does the Dance of Capitalist Superiority

Dawn says she’s going to stay the night with a schoolfriend, but they both skip out to hang out with two boys. Who are arses.

They rock up at the house of a creepy old man, who is obviously going to kill them all.

But surprise – the boys are vampires, and the old man’s toast.

Tara is worrying about Willow using so much magic – as you’ll know from previous blog entries about later episodes in this series.

Dawn gets to slay a vampire.

Next, from season three, it’s AngelCarpe Noctem. Investigating a strange set of deaths at a health club, Angel traces it back to an old man, played by Rance Howard – Ron Howard’s dad.

He does a body swap with Angel.

Meanwhile at Wolfram and Hart, Gavin (Daniel Dae Kim) is trying to hassle Angel with building regulations, something that Lilah doesn’t think will work.

The old man Marcus, in Angel’s body, goes back to the hotel. Cordelia tells him he still has to have a word with Fred, brought back from the Host’s dimension after five years, and developing a crush on Angel, to try to discourage a workplace relationship. But Marcus/Angel doesn’t know who Fred is, assumes from this that Angel is gay, and thinks Wesley is Fred, and tries to have that conversation with Wesley.

Marcus/Angel of course hits on the real Fred, but then Lilah turns up, giving Angel all his permits, and Angel/Marcus naturally smooches her as well, even biting her and thus discovering that he’s a Vampire.

It’s a fun episode – body swap episodes often are. And at the end, a tiny crossover, as Angel is having the talk with Fred for real this time, Cordy comes in and tells him that Willow’s on the phone, and that Buffy’s alive.

Next, we’ve skipped a few episodes (including the musical episode) and reach Buffy The Vampire SlayerWrecked. This is a very disturbing episode because bad things are happening to Willow. Her magic use is growing, and now she’s even turned Amy (from the first season episode The Witch) back from being a rat (which happened in the episode Gingerbread).

Meanwhile, Buffy and Spike are waking up after a night of passion which wrecked an entire house. My children found this plot turn to be the most cringiest thing imaginable.

This whole episode is about addiction, and how sometimes, friends can enable your addictions so they get worse. Amy takes Willow to meet Rack, a demon metaphor for a drug pusher.

Willow has to look after Dawn, and she takes her to Rack’s place, missing the movie they were supposed to see, then they get chased by demons, and Willow crashes the car, injuring Dawn.

Following this, another AngelQuickening (Not, I hope, Highlander related).

It opens with a flashback, and we learn why Holtz (Keith Szarabajka) hates Angel and Darla so much, as we see them massacre his whole family.

Holtz has been brought into the future by the demon Sahjahn.

Wolfram and Hart are monitoring Angel Investigations. I like the transcript, complete with sound effects.

They give Darla an Ultrasound (she’s pregnant with Angel’s baby, who they think, because of prophecy, is going to destroy the world or something. But since it’s an ultrasound, and nobody can make them out in the best of circumstances, they’re all “is that two heads?” at everything.

Although there’s some fights and stuff, this episode feels a lot like it’s treading water. In that way, I guess, it’s very reflective of the experience of being really close to childbirth, but it feels like it’s an eternity and why doesn’t something happen?

There’s also the obligatory scary doctor, from Wolfram and Hart, waiting to dissect Darla and Child.

The episode ends on a cliffhanger, with Angel meeting Holtz in the hotel, and Darla’s waters suddenly breaking in the car outside.

After this episode, there’s the start of an episode of Scrubs. The tape ends after a few minutes of this.

In the Adverts, an Amstrad Emailer advert that’s so Brexit it hurts.

Adverts:

  • trail: Futurama
  • Kinder Egg
  • Sky Introduce a Friend
  • trail: Stargate SG-1
  • trail: Angel
  • trail: Pay It Forward
  • Ford Focus
  • MFI
  • Walt Disney World
  • Bupa
  • Dove Shampoo
  • Iceland
  • National Lottery – Justin Lee Collins
  • Ja Rule
  • trail: Football
  • trail: Scrubs
  • Citroen – Ken Campbell
  • Vileda
  • Give Blood
  • Shallow Hal in cinemas
  • Palmolive Soft & Gentle
  • The Best Club Anthems 2002
  • Fairy Liquid
  • trail: Boxing
  • trail: David Beckham… Close Up
  • trail: Crash Palace
  • Mazda
  • Andrex
  • Mini Babybel
  • Oral B
  • AOL
  • Ambi-Pur
  • Burger King
  • Actimel
  • Pedigree
  • Mazda
  • Sky
  • trail: X-Men
  • trail: Sunday on Sky One
  • Peugeot 206
  • KFC
  • Catsan
  • T/Gel
  • KFC
  • Sky Multi-Room
  • trail: Alias
  • trail: Scrubs
  • trail: What Women Want
  • Peugeot 206
  • Tetley
  • Shallow Hal in cinemas
  • Clairol Herbal Essences
  • Always Ultra
  • Daily Star
  • Special K
  • Peugeot 206
  • trail: Football
  • trail: Crash Palace
  • Ford Focus
  • PG Tips
  • Boots
  • Bodyform
  • L’Oreal Elvive – Claudia Schiffer
  • National Lottery – Justin Lee Collins
  • Pizza Hut
  • trail: Eye of the Killer
  • trail: Enterprise
  • trail: David Beckham… Close Up
  • Sky Introduce a Friend
  • Citroen – Ken Campbell
  • Dettol Floor Wipes
  • Head & Shoulders
  • OK
  • Powergen Monsters Inc
  • Bupa
  • Nytol
  • AOL
  • trail: Valentine’s Day on Sky
  • trail: Me, Myself & Irene
  • Cadbury’s Roses
  • trail: Save The Last Dance
  • trail: Enterprise/Dark Angel
  • trail: Scrubs
  • Coca Cola – Polar Bears
  • L’Oreal Feria
  • Quality Street
  • Solpadeine
  • Thirteen Ghosts in cinemas
  • Pizza Hut
  • UPS
  • Olay
  • Now Dance 2002
  • trail: Star Wars Day
  • trail: Scary Movie
  • Ford Ka
  • XBox launch advert
  • Boots
  • Atlantis The Lost Empire on video and DVD
  • Crown Paints
  • Daily Star
  • McDonalds
  • Sky Introduce a Friend
  • trail: Soap Stars Behaving Badly
  • trail: Sunday on Sky One
  • Volvo S60
  • Glamour
  • Kit Kat
  • Fruit Corner
  • Supercharged
  • Clearasil Complete
  • School Disco
  • Post Office
  • trail: Formula 1
  • trail: Trading Places
  • Bupa
  • Amstrad Emailer
  • Always Wear a Seatbelt
  • trail: Sky News
  • trail: Saturday on Sky
  • trail: Scrubs
  • Ford Ka
  • Nursing
  • Clairol Nice ‘n Easy
  • Babyliss
  • Head & Shoulders
  • Little Rolo
  • Rimmel
  • OK
  • Smirnoff Ice
  • trail: Almost Famous
  • trail: Scary Movie
  • Holsten Pils – Ray Winstone
  • Get On
  • Pantene
  • Tetley
  • Babyliss
  • Slim-Fast
  • Wipeout Fusion
  • trail: Football
  • trail: Soap Stars Behaving Badly
  • trail: Sunday on Sky One
  • Sky Active
  • Supercharged
  • Toyota Corolla
  • The Independent On Sunday
  • Amstrad Emailer
  • Olay
  • Territorial Army
  • Holsten Pils – Ray Winstone
  • Snickers
  • Asda
  • Glamour
  • trail: Cricket
  • trail: Me, Myself & Irene
  • trail: Enterprise/Dark Angel
  • Always Wear a Seatbelt
  • Always Ultra
  • Witch
  • trail: Tuesday on Sky One