First today, an edited episode of Postman Pat – Postman Pat Goes Undercover.
Mr Pringle suggests a camping trip for the class. It almost doesn’t happen, because all the minibuses have been rented out, so Pat offers the mail bus, and they spend the day getting it ready.
Not all the children are keen on the trip. Young Tom seems very nervous about it, but when they get there and start putting up the tents, he sees Pat and Mr Pringle having trouble with theirs, reads the instructions and tells them what they need to do. He even finds the matches that Pat has dropped, so they can have a campfire.
That night, there’s a strong wind, and both the tents get blown away. Tom even has a solution for that, suggesting they all sleep in the bus.
Media Centre Description: Aided by his trusty cat Jess, Pat the postman always manages to deliver the mail, no matter what. A camping trip goes wrong.
Next, there’s a recording that doesn’t play, followed by another recording which started a couple of minutes after that aborted recording of the same programme. It’s Pinky and the Brain, with two stories, starting with Mice Don’t Dance. We’ve missed the first minute or so, I think. Seeing the effect a musical has had on the audience, Pinky decides that he can influence people through music. That’s a rather off-colour joke for the movie title.
Brain wants to use music and dance to influence people. The 1939 World’s Fair is happening which would be a perfect place to influence a lot of people. I’m not sure why this poster says “A Penine Day April” at the top – sounds like someone misheard “Opening Day” although it’s spelled correctly below.
Brain needs to replace the opening day star, Tap Dancer Bill ‘Bojangles’ Robinson, so he phones him pretending to be the president, and tells him he needs to go immediately to Hawaii to entertain the troops.
Brain uses a pair of steam-powered trousers to tap dance, using his tap to subliminally send messages to people, while singing a jaunty song parodying ‘Putting on the Ritz’.
The next story is Brain Drained. Brain has run out of schemes to take over the world. He decides to hire would-be screenwriters to come up with new plans. Pinky asks “Wouldn’t that be expensive?” “Not at all, Pinky. Screenwriters are used to being compensated with nothing but points on the back end.”
They interview writers.
What follows is basically a lot of pitches of ideas. One seems to be poking fun at shows like My Little Pony along with many others.
Eventually Brain gives up. Pinky says “Look Brain, Warner Brothers Studios. Maybe we can find some writers there?” “Nah. We can’t afford them, Pinky. We don’t have enough bananas.”
Media Centre Description: Cartoon chaos with the anarchic duo. Episodes are Mice Don’t Dance and Brain Drained.
Recorded from CBBC Channel on Saturday 25 February 2006 16:00
That last episode actually cut off just before the end, but the next recording follows directly on, and had the end of that episode.
Then, the CBBC presenters run a phone in competition, Play or Pass.
Then, another episode of Pinky and the Brain, with two stories starting with Brain’s Bogie. Pinky has a large collection of Cher related items.
Brain has a new plan – tattoo the words “Property of Brain” onto a discreet area of the Earth.
He needs a “hollow tube made of a titanium corundum super-alloy” to do that tattooing, and his computer tells him where to find onw. Either the solar panel extension arm of the Space Shuttle, or the putter of golfer Chico Gonzales. Luckily, there a pro-am golf tournament featuring Gonzalez happening that weekend.
Brain has to disguise himself as a celebrity, and sign in to the tournament. “Who am I? I was the star of the movie Moonstruck.” “Oh my Gosh! Olympia Dukakis!” I love this joke, and it becomes a running gag.
As if the Olympia Dukakis reference wasn’t enough above the heads of CBBC viewers (Moonstruck was 10 years old when this was made) Brain has to replace author Saul Bellow in the tournament, a scene which also pokes fun at John Updike. “He’s writing a new one – Rabbit Swallows his Tongue.”
Brain meets Chico Gonzales, someone I can find nothing about. Was he a famous golfer at the time? There’s an Argentinian golfer named Ricardo Gonzales. and a poet and writer from the Dominican Republic, but I don’t think he’s either of them.
I’ve no idea who this is supposed to be – he’s not named or referenced, just mentions in dialogue that he’s an actor.
The next story is Say What, Earth. Brain has built an Oscillotron Linguafactor.
It can bring inanimate objects to life. They try it on a “Road Pylon” which is a term I’ve never heard before. Is that a common American name for traffic cones?
The machine gets used on the Earth itself. Who then talks to Brain and does whatever he asks him.
Brain immediately goes on TV to tell the world that the Earth is under his control, and to prove it, gets the Earth to shake, causing an earthquake.
From the voice, I’m guessing this is Rudi Giuliani, mayor of New York at the time.
Only Cuba refuses to pledge allegiance to Brain. Which he rapidly recants when Cuba sinks under the ocean.
Earth now just wants to have fun and not work, so Brain goes to turn off the machine. Earth swallows the machine and tries to destroy Brain.
They disguise themselves as each other to confuse the Earth while Brain makes plans to escape the Earth.
But the Earth is tired of being conscious, so Pinky Unarticulates him in a moving scene.
Pinky then puts the machine into the rocket they built, and sends it to the moon. With obvious results.
Media Centre Description: Cartoon chaos with the anarchic duo. Episodes are Brain Bogie and Say What, Earth.
Recorded from CBBC Channel on Saturday 25 February 2006 16:20
After this, there’s a trailer for Blue Peter, then they talk to two of the stars of the forthcoming Serious Amazon.
Then, there’s almost a whole episode of a show called Watch My Chops about someone looking after a dog. It’s not a show I remember, and from this showing, I didn’t miss much. An absence of anything resembling jokes, for the most part.
Today starts with Mark Speight drawing portraits of two members of the cast of Grange Hill.
There’s a trailer for the new series of Grange Hill.
Then, a special episode of Blue Peter as Matt is in Australia. The Commonwealth Games are going to be held there in a few weeks, but Matt is there to learn about Aussie Rules Football. Is it just me, or do the weird cut-off sleeves of the shirts just look weird and creepy?
Matt learns the basics with the young players. When it comes to tackling, Matt is being very careful as he’s much bigger than any of them.
More my speed is the half time refreshment – a huge hot dog. Better than orange slices.
He plays in a proper game (with adults) and even, apparently, scores the winning goal. This might have been staged.
He visits a vet, and helps fix a broken leg for a Galah who’s been hit by a car.
He meets a Koala
And some Kangaroos
And some Dingoes.
Then he visits the set of Neighbours.
He’s shown round by Stingray.
They have a lot of fun visiting the sets.
Media Centre Description: A special epsiode from Melbourne, as Matt Baker spends the day with Stingray from Neighbours and goes behind the scenes of the Aussie soap. He also helps to mend a cockatoo with a broken leg and finds out about Aussie rules football the hard way.
After this, there’s a trailer for Serious Amazon. Then, Newsround starts, still leading with the biggest ever bank robbery in Britain
The next recording starts with trailers for Just the Two of Us, Facing the Truth, and Serious Amazon.
Then, an episode of Junior Mastermind. A couple of the specialist subjects are probably the reason I recorded this. The contestants and their subjects are:
Nikhil, answering questions on WG Grace
James answers questions about Marvel Super Heroes
Anthony answers questions about St Patrick
Adam answers questions on The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy.
Media Centre Description: John Humphrys poses the questions as young contestants brave the black chair in the general knowledge quiz. Subjects: WG Grace; Marvel comic book heroes; St Patrick; and Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy.
After this, there’s trailers for Just the Two of Us, Open University programmes, and Run for Glory. Then the recording ends after a few minutes of Stars in Fast Cars.
The last recording today starts with trailers for an online Climate Change survey, Six Nations rugby, and Gideon’s Daughter.
They’ve got special Winter Olympic themed idents.
Then, a Sci-Fi classic, Soylent Green. I’ve looked at this before on one of my tapes. One detail I missed was the scene where someone is playing a computer game. At the time I said they were “playing what looks like a version of Asteroids”. Maybe the tape was too blurry for me to see, but this is actually Computer Space, the very first arcade video game, created by Nolan Bushnell, and based on an earlier non-commercial game Spacewar.
Media Centre Description: Cautionary science fiction tale set in a near future in which an embittered cop stumbles on the shocking truth about a synthetic foodstuff with which the authorities feed the starving populace, keeping unrest at bay. Based on Harry Harrison’s novel.
After this there’s a trailer for Dirty Pretty Things, and advert for the BBC Red Button, one for Open University programmes.
Then, a short programme – The Witness – on The Death of James Dean. It features the traffic police officer who attended Dean’s fatal crash, but the most interesting part was an actual Public Information Film Dean made to persuade people to drive safely.
After this, there’s a trailer for Dalziel and Pascoe – Houdini’s Ghost.
Then, another episode of The Witness – The Killing Fields of Cambodia. Boy, after the down ending of Soylent Green, this is really helping to cheer me up.
After this there’s a spectacular trailer for Planet Earth that I remember at the time.
Then, the start of Learning Zone programmes. Here’s what was on that night.
The recording runs out after a few minutes of Ever Wondered in which a young Claudia Winkleman (with brown hair and no fringe) looks for the roots of Salsa music.
The first recording today starts with the end of Balamory. Then a trailer for Ha-Half Time.
Then, and episode of Pingu – Pingu Plays Tag. Is it usual to play tag with a rolled-up newspaper?
Nice to see Daddy penguin doing the ironing.
Pingu is enjoying hiding from Pinga.
They go outside and Pingu hides high up. But then he finds he can’t get down.
As time goes on, the family wonder where he’s got to. Pinga doesn’t know where he was hiding, so they go out to look.
They find him, and he jumps down into his father’s arms.
Media Centre Description: Cartoon adventures featuring Pingu, the penguin who is intelligent but rather clumsy, and is occasionally misunderstood by those around him. In this episode Pingu and Pinga have a game of tag.
After this, there’s a trailer for Big Cook Little Cook, then CBBC starts, with the start of Newsround, leading with Pet Obesity.
The next recording starts with our first encounter with Pinky and the Brain – listed in Media Centre as Around the World in 80 Narfs although that episode doesn’t appear anywhere here. This is actually a triple bill of episodes. The first, A Legendary Tail, involves The Brain creating a legend for himself. “Yes, I’ll read you a story. The Greatest Legend of them All.” “The Legend of Affordable Universal Healthcare?”
Brain shows him the story he’s got the computer to write, painting himself as an American folk hero, like Paul Bunyan, Johnny Appleseed, Pecos Bill or John Henry. He’s “Big Johnny Brain Jones Peachpit Bill Boone Crockett.” Yes, Brain is using AI to generate a story.
Wandering the country planting peach trees, Brain (and Pinky, who’s inserted himself into the story) they encounter another larger than life character, Big Jimmy Fruithead. “I control the horticulture in this town. I get a shiny gold coin for every fruit tree planted hereabouts.” “Our forefathers fought a great war to bring an end to taxation by giants who wear fruit on their heads.” “Actually I don’t think that’s historically accurate.”
Brain puts a peachpit in Jommy’s shoe, and he limps away, before falling on a block of buildings. “And that’s why apartments are called flats… in some parts of England.”
They find their way to Folkheroville, where all the old folk heroes have settled. But none of them are happy. “Paul Bunyan, you chopped down an entire forest, and straightened a river, and received much acclaim.” “Yes, Then them tree-hugging environmentalists slapped me with a lawsuit.”
The next story is Project B.R.A.I.N. which serves as an origin story for the two of them. They’re experimented on by scientists working on Project BRAIN.
They’re processed in the “Bio-genetic enhancer.”
Unknown to the scientists, the experiment was a success. Brain absorbs “all the knowledge in this computer database” which at the time was probably Encarta. He’s convinced that when the scientists see him, they’ll immediately put him in charge of everything.
Unfortunately, Pinky manages to zap Brain’s brain so when the scientists arrive, he’s catatonic. And the next time he’s trapped in an isolation tank.
After this there’s a trailer for Serious Amazon.
Next, Whatever Happened to Baby Brain? Somehow it’s now the great depression, and The Brain wants to replace an adorable child actress who has become too old, so he analyses the elements of cuteness.
He gets some dimples, some contact lenses to make his eyes big and adorable, and a blonde curls because… well he just likes them. “What do you think?” “I think you’ve concentrated a great deal on surface appearances, without really honing your theatrical abilities.” “Perfect! Come, Pinky, I’m ready for Hollywood.”
There’s some old Hollywood cameos here. WC Fields boots them out of Schwab’s Drugstore when Brain asks him for money.
Brain auditions with Joan Crawford – including lots of references to wooden coathangers, referencing the most famous scene from the Crawford biopic Mommie Dearest.
Brain has to pretend Pinky is his mother, as he’s pretending to be five years old. Pinky throws himself into the role.
There’s a parody of “The Good Ship Lollipop” called “The Nice Boat Candy Cane” where the lyrics are all about sweets and dental problems.
There’s “Rickey Mooney”, probably renamed because there’s a slightly off-colour reference to him hitting on Brain when Brain’s supposed to be five years old.
Orson Welles doesn’t need a pseudonym.
Brain’s rival for the starring role sees Brain being horrible to Pinky, and takes a picture.
So Brain is ruined in Hollywood.
The next story is Just Say Narf – really just a musical number, definitely inspired by Make ’em Laugh from Singing in the Rain.
After this, there’s a trailer for Kerching!
Then, the last episode of Pinky and the Brain – TV or Not TV. Brain is doing more research on how to influence people, this time looking at TV and film stars. Pinky does a Pulp Fiction joke.
Brain has analysed the smiles of celebrities to find the formula for the perfect smile.
He builds a machine to create a set of dentures that give him such a smile. It affects the brain, “causing the viewer to adore me for no good reason”. He plans to become a celebrity so he can take over the world. “We shall use a weapon of great power, stealth and corruption. Our own sitcom.”
The show is pretty scathing about the industry. Here’s two writers pitching to an executive at The WB. “So there’s this guy, right. And, get this, he designs – bikinis!” “Yeah, tiny little bikinis.”
Brain tries to pitch to the studio head, but he’s wearing sunglasses, so the effect of the dentures doesn’t work. He tells Brain he can’t give him a sitcom because he’s not well known, so Brain has to become a successful Stand-Up.
His material isn’t as accessible as it could be. “Did you ever notice when you’re looking in the mirror of a quadrant electrometer you’re forehead seems large? Why is that?” He’s not helped by having the two writers who were pitching before him in the audience heckling him. “Hey, go back to your troll village, squirt. What do you say to that?” “I find you repugnant.” This is the first time he gets a laugh – he’s just discovered being an insult comic.
He soon gets more gigs, like Howard Stern’s radio show.
and his bandleader Paul Shaffer
Meanwhile, the studio head has put his back out, so he goes to an alternative therapist for help. “My secretary sent me here. Actually I feel kinda stupid.” “Oh Honey, that’s a good thing. If there weren’t any stupid people, wouldn’t have any business.” She hypnotises him and gives him a random trigger word that he can say to make the pain go away. But if he says it again the pain will come back. It’s basically a toggle switch. And the word she randomly chooses from the dictionary is “repugnant”. Brain’s catchphrase.
The studio head watches Brain’s stand-up, and the repeated use of ‘repugnant’ keeps brining his pain back until he falls out of the window.
Pinky and the Brain have to think of a concept for their sitcom. Pinky has it. “This is it! This is the show!” “About nothing! You and me, it’s a show about nothing!”
But they don’t get the gig – the two other writers pitch a story about two lab mice who want to take over the world. Gimpy and the Cortex.
Media Centre Description: Triple bill of cartoon chaos with the anarchic pair of lab rats.
Recorded from CBBC Channel on Thursday 23 February 2006 12:00
After this, there’s an episode of Newsround leading with Britain’s biggest bank robbery, and featuring acupuncture in school, obese pets and baby penguins. Unusually for my recordings, this one is complete so here it is.
The next recording opens with the end of the last episode of Rock School which looks like it had a feelgood ending.
Then, a new episode of Peep Show – Shrooming. Mark has come home unexpectedly when he’s supposed to be going to Frankfurt on a business trip. He discovers his bedroom is occupied.
Jez has invited Big Suze to the flat for a magic mushrooms party, so he wants Mark out of the way. He pours a whole bottle of Night Nurse into Mark’s Lemsip and gives it to him.
Jez locks Mark’s door, and when Mark wakes up and wants to use the toilet, he tells him to do it in a takeaway bag.
The doorbell rings, and Jez answers, thinking it’s the pizza. It’s Johnson, who’s had a call from Mark saying he’s been falsely imprisoned.
Johnson lets him out, and Mark has to use the toilet which doesn’t currently have a door. “Is that normal pooing you’re doing.”
Media Centre Description: Comedy series about two socially dysfunctional losers who share a south London flat. Jeremy plans to throw a secret magic mushroom party in the flat, but Mark returns home early suffering from gastric flu. To avoid him spoiling the vibe of the party, Jeremy gives Mark a massive dose of flu medicine and locks him in his bedroom.
Recorded from E4 on Friday 24 February 2006 01:38
The final recording is incomplete. It’s John Milius’ rather silly Teens versus the Commies movie Red Dawn starring a lot of up and coming young actors. But this recording is just over an hour long, so it starts after an ad break midway through. Sometimes out of context subtitles can be amusing.
I do like to find the good things in anything, but this is a terrible film. In intention and in execution. So here’s UFO regular Vladek Sheybal as an evil Russian.
Recorded from ITV4 on Friday 24 February 2006 03:01
In the ad breaks, because it’s the middle of the night, a lot of the adverts are for chatlines, and I noticed one of them had a Hemel Hempstead postcode. I’m not sure how to feel about that.
There’s also an advert for Batchelor’s Cup a Soup which is making me rethink my stance on hugs.
And was it Lucky Number Slevin that caused a lot of amusement at the time when Ben Kingsley was on the posters and in the trailer as Sir Ben Kingsley?
trail: Second Chance Sunday
Shredded Wheat – Ian Botham
trail: Film Four
trail: E4 First Look
trail: 100 Greatest Funny Moments
The Strokes – First Impresions of Earth
Lucky Number Slevin in cinemas
Kellogg’s Crunchy Nut Nutty
Batchelor’s Cup a Soup
Date Movie in cinemas
Into the Blue on DVD
Wallace & Gromit: The Curse of the Were Rabbit on DVD
It’s a short entry today with just one recording. It starts with the end of Balamory. Susie Sweet has been doing the wrong thigns in the wrong rooms – eating dinner in the shop, ironing in the cafe. They use this as a learning moment for the children, rather than worrying that perhaps Susie might be having a mental health crisis.
There’s one episode of Pingu – Pingu and the Knitting Machine. Pingu’s mother has got a knitting machine.
She’s making warm clothing for the neighbours.
She goes out to deliver some woolly hats, so Pingu and friend swap out the colours and start making a Doctor Who scarf.
The parents aren’t happy with the results.
Lucky that wool is recyclable.
And everyone gets a nice multicoloured hat.
Media Centre Description: The cartoon adventures featuring Pingu, the penguin who is intelligent but rather clumsy, and is occasionally misunderstood by those around him.
First today, two copies of the same recording, which starts with the end of Doodle-Doo, another favourite of our children.
There’s a look at some viewers’ pictures in Picture Place.
Then, an episode of SMarteenies. It’s Jay first, making a picture out of a box of “wonderful things”. Jay is obviously easily pleased with his collection of all the tat that’s been sitting in that kitchen drawer we never look in, you know, the one that has washing powder all over the bottom. we all had one. Although I don’t think this sponge really is an “old kitchen sponge” it’s definitely just come out of the packet.
He paints a picture of a tree.
Lizi helps some children make trees with plasticine.
Kirsten builds that wall.
Mark paints a small picture
and a big picture.
Media Centre Description: Exciting ideas to help viewers experiment with art and crafts. Today, more examples of pattern designs, another big picture and more from the SMarteenies gallery. With Mark Speight, Kirsten O’Brien, Jay Burridge, Bizi Lizi and Doogy the dog.
After this, the recording has the start of The Shiny Show.
The next recording is another pair of edited/unedited recordings. It starts with Angelica and Andrew saying thank you to Professor Richard Wiseman – I wish I’d seen his bit.
Then, another episode of Blue Peter. Zoe is training for the London Marathon, so she’s learned how to levitate.
Also in the studio, Nick Park is animating Shaun the Sheep live during the show. Fresh off his Bafta win last night.
Shaun has his own little Bafta.
Now Zoe is learning how to guide two aircraft at the same time.
Matt goes to Aardman Animation Studio and helps to animate a scene with Wallace. There’s also a competition to create a new character for the forthcoming Shaun the Sheep.
Now Zoe’s training has her welded to a base like a giant Subbuteo figure. (I might not be paying full attention to these bits.)
Liz visits Mozart’s birthplace, on the occasion of his 250th anniversary.
The scenes of Mozart as a young man are played by a familiar face – it’s former Blue Peter presenter Simon Thomas.
Now Zoe is rehearsing for her part in a live-action Thunderbirds movie.
At the end there’s a glimpse of the few seconds of animation Nick did during the show.
Media Centre Description: Matt Baker visits the set of the Wallace and Gromit film Curse of the Were Rabbit, while Aardman creator Nick Park is in the studio to help launch an Aardman competition. Zoe Salmon continues her training for this year’s London Marathon.
Recorded from BBC ONE on Monday 20 February 2006 16:58
There’s a trailer for Kerwhizz! and one of its stars, Jaime Sweeney answers questions. Then Newsround starts, with a report on the possible arrival of Bird Flu in Britain. Sometimes it just seems like the news has repeats.
The next recording starts with the end of an episode of On The Fiddle? Then a trailer for the next programme, and a trailer for The Apprentice. (Two of them, in fact) and a trailer for Zane Lowe’s Radio One show.
Then we have episode 7 of Life on Mars. They’re staking out a technical college looking for a drug dealer. There’s a foot chase, and Hunt tries to roll over the bonnet of a car, but can’t quite manage it.
Sam and Hunt go for a curry, to somewhere Sam knows from the future. When he gets there, it looks like the future is bleeding through. And while he’s having curry, he can hear voices on the radio, and a Pulp song.
The drug dealer they arrested, Billy Kemble, was put in a cell with a violent prisoner, in the hopes that he would tell them who his supplier was. But when Hunt and Sam get back to the station from the curry, Kemble is dead, apparently from a massive heart attack.
Sam finds Kemble’s sister so she can identify the body.
Hunt starts gathering statements from the officers on duty, although he does embellish them.
The post mortem showed that Kemble died after taking a lot of cocaine. But his sister tells them that he didn’t take drugs because of his bad heart. And he’d been in the cell for hours, didn’t seem to be under the influence when they questioned him, so how did he take drugs?
Hunt doesn’t want to investigate the death, but Sam insists, so Hunt gives the case to him. He finds that Phyllis, the desk sergeant, had gone to sleep for a couple of hours, and Annie had seen the prisoner, who complained about feeling sick. And DC Skelton had seen the prisoner 50 minutes before he was found dead. But Hunt doesn’t want it to go any further and bans Sam from the station.
Skelton tells Sam that they were trying to get a name from Kemble, and he also reveals that there was a tape of what happened. Sam goes back to the station to find the tape. Ray Carling confronts him, and they have a fight.
Same listens to the tape, joined by everyone who was there. Ray Carling gave Kemble some cocaine to get him to talk. That’s what caused his heart attack. Hunt thanks Sam for investigating, because he couldn’t have investigated his own team as it would have destroyed morale.
Sam doesn’t know what to do. He thinks that if he hands the tape in, maybe that will be the trigger to wake from the coma. Hunt calls them all in to the station, and demotes Carling to Detective Constable. Sam still thinks something should be done. He gives the tape to the chief constable, who destroys it, saying the matter has been dealt with internally. The world doesn’t stop, and Sam doesn’t wake up.
Media Centre Description: Drama series about a Manchester detective who suffers a near-fatal car crash and wakes up in what seems to be 1973. The death in custody of drug dealer Billy Kemble pits Sam against CID as he tries to uncover the truth. Sam demands a transparent investigation into Billy’s death, to encourage public trust in the police. When the evidence of what happened to Billy falls into his hands, Sam has a huge decision to make, which could either tear the team apart or find him an opportunity to get home.
After this, there’s trailers for The Bigger Picture with Graham Norton, Six Nations Rugby and Gideon’s Daughter.
Then the start of the BBC News, leading with the news that right wing historian David Irving has been sentenced to four years in prison in Austria for Holocaust Denial. Unusual for a news bulletin to lead with good news for a change.
The last recording today is another episode of Smallville: Superman the Early Years – Splinter.
Clark visits Lana at university, and opens a box sent to her from Lex. “Given your new major, I thought you might find this interesting” says the note with it. In the box is a silvery piece of meteor rock. Clark dropped it because gave him a splinter in his finger. He leaves with some urgency.
When he’s driving home, a black truck with blacked out windows starts harassing him, and eventually causes him to crash his pickup. It’s a spectacular car stunt. When he gets out of the car, his phone rings, and someone says “I know who you are”.
Lex is definitely running for state senate. At no point is it mentioned which party he’s standing for. We’d have to assume the Rebublicans, but the show isn’t going to go there at all. Martha is worried that if Jonathan runs against him, it might affect his health. And someone might find out Clark’s secret.
After one of Professor Fine’s lectures, Clark picks up his rucksack and a piece of Kryptonite falls out. Then he sees the projector showing the words “I know how to kill you”. Outside, Professor Fine asks Clark if he’s OK. Clark tells him about the truck, and Fine says he thinks the same truck has been following him. He thinks it’s Lex, and he gives Clark the number of the truck, to see if he can find out who owns it.
Clark takes the number to Chloe, who does a vehicle check. When she goes off to check the fax machine (yes, in 2005 they were still using faxes for something) Clark looks at her email and sees a message from Lionel Luthor reading “THERE ARE NO SECRETS”. Chloe returns with the news that the black truck doesn’t exist. Clark accuses Chloe of telling Lionel his secret.
Lana asks Lex about the silver meteor rock, and he tells her he doesn’t know anything about it. She says she doesn’t trust him, after he’s been lying about the spaceship she saw. So Lex takes Lana to where they’re keeping the spaceship.
Lionel visits Jonathan, and offers to help with his campaign. Clark is eavesdropping, and he sees Lionel tell Jonathan that Chloe told him Clark’s secret. “Accept my support and I can guarantee you a seat in the Senate.” “And what happens if I don’t accept?” “The truth about Clark will come out in any case. The only difference is how he’ll be treated when we run the tests. He can either be a distinguished guest, or strapped down, helpless, like a lab rat.” Clark also sees Jonathan accept an envelope full of cash.
Clark confronts Jonathan, in what I think is one of the most disturbing scenes the show has ever done. He tells him he saw Lionel give him the money, waving the contents of the envelope – but it’s not money, its graphs and charts. Clark is obviously seeing things. But that’s not the disturbing part. Clark bangs his fist on the table, and breaks it. Martha tells him to stop, and Clark hits her, throwing her across the floor. Jonathan tries to stop him and Clark grabs him by the throat, telling him “No more lies, tell me the truth.” Then Jonathan says “You want the truth? You were never really my son. You were the thing I found in the cornfield.” Given everything we’ve seen about Clark and his parents, this feels like the worst kind of betrayal. It’s so upsetting. But we’re clearly seeing that Clark is hallucinating much of what he sees. Except he could kill someone.
Lucky that Chloe arrives with some Kryptonite just in time, and Clark zooms off. Chloe tells the Kents that she’s known about Clark for a year, and they discuss what it might be. Martha thinks it’s Red Kryptonite, but Chloe thinks the silver meteor rock might be silver Kryptonite.
Clark goes to see Lana and says they need to leave immediately. This episode is upsetting me even more now, as they even manage to make a hug creepy. Clark is sounding more and more paranoid. But he knows Chloe is coming so he leaves.
Clark goes to see Professor Fine to ask if he’s found out anything more about the black truck. Fine says he hasn’t seen Clark for a week.
He tells Clark to wait in his office. He’s seeing even more stuff now, like a replica of the ship he arrived in, and he hears Lex talking about him and how he knows all about Clark’s background.
Lana takes the rock to Lex, who denies knowing anything about it. He offers to have it analysed to find a cure. But Clark is eavesdropping again, and he sees them kissing. The power goes off in the mansion, and Lex finds some of his security unconscious. Clark finds him and roughs him up. Then he goes after Lana.
Suddenly Professor Fine appears. “You don’t wanna do that. Trust me.” “I can’t trust anyone anymore.” Clark runs at him at super speed, but Fine dodges, also at super speed. Fine zaps Clark with heat vision, and tells him he’s a Kryptonian, just like Clark. He pulls out a gadget and uses it to suck the metal splinter out of Clark’s shoulder (it’s travelled a scarily long way in his body). Fine zooms off when he hears Lex coming. Clark finds Lana, injured by him.
In hospital, Clark and Lana reconcile. Chloe told her about how the meteor infected Clark, making him paranoid, and giving him temporary powers, so Clark’s secret is still a secret.
Clark and Chloe also make up. Chloe tells him that the emails from Lionel are information about Lex’s campaign. Lionel really doesn’t want Lex to get elected. “I would never tell Lionel your secret. I’d never tell anyone. I’d die before I’d ever betray you.” They get a non-creepy hug, although Chloe does look sad. I guess unrequited love would do that to you.
Jonathan tells Clark that he’s decided not to run for Senate. But Clark tells him he should. “It’s the right thing to do. If anything happens we’ll deal with it the same way we always have, as a family.”
Then Clark goes to see Professor Fine, who greets him as Kal-El. “So I didn’t imagine that part.” He talks about how Clark has been influenced by the humans. “Even the ones you think you love can betray you.” Clark defends them. “You don’t know anything about this race. Yeah, they can be petty and dishonest and betray each other over nothing, but they can also be honest and loyal and they would give up everything to protect someone they love… even if they were from another planet.” “Kal-EI…” “My name is Clark. And I’ll always believe in my friends and my family.”
Later, we see Fine in Lex’s lab with the spaceship, and he’s holding the silver meteor rock. His hand goes all Terminator 2, and all the silver flows out of the rock and into him. Then he drops the perfectly ordinary rock on the ground. He’s a bad ‘un.
Media Centre Description: Drama series following the teenage years of future Superman Clark Kent. Clark succumbs to paranoid delusions brought on by exposure to silver kryptonite. Professor Fine is the only one who can save him – before he kills Lana.
Recorded from E4 on Monday 20 February 2006 21:00
After this, the recording continues with the start of the movie Stepmom.
trail: Film Four
trail: Shockwaves NME Awards: Live
trail: The O.C.
Wallace & Gromit: The Curse of the Were Rabbit on DVD
The first recording today is another episode of Postman Pat – Postman Pat the Secret Superhero.
Charlie is playing at being a Superhero, but wonders if Greendale has a real Superhero.
Charlie and Bill go looking for superheroes. He sees Ajay seemingly push a train carriage with one hand.
But really, Ted is pulling the carriage with the Rocket.
Pat starts his delivery round, but he’s not fastened his van door properly, and the road is very bumpy, so postbags start falling out. I got very stressed by this whole sequence, since Pat is usually so capable. This is very unlike him.
Charlie is still trying to find a superhero, so the obvious thing to do is to peek through the window of Dr Gilbertson’s surgery, where he sees the Doctor go behind a curtain, and from the other side, a dog comes out. Obviously, Charlie concludes that Dr Gilbertson can change into a dog.
Then the dog goes behind the curtain again, and Mrs Goggins comes out. This convinces Charlie even more.
Even when the curtains are opened to reveal Dr Gilbertson and the dog, Charlie still thinks super powers are involved. He’s presumably quite smart, since yesterday he built a whole radio studio, but he doesn’t seem to have mastered Object Permanence.
Pat discovers that the letters have fallen out of his van, so he retraces his steps. A kite-shaped parcel has ended up on a roof, and it dislodges a roof tile. Pat pulls Julia out of the way of both the tile and the parcel when they fall.
When he says Cheerio, he does a superhero pose. At least I hope that’s what that pose means.
Charlie and Bill see Charlie’s dad seemingly fly through the air in the school hall.
But the truth is simpler. “Dad can’t fly, he’s just got wheels on his ladders.”
Pat’s finding all the lost mail. He’s having to be surprisingly nimble.
The last parcel is under a bale of hay. But when Pat takes it, and walks away, the bale starts rolling down the hill towards them.
Pat and Jess avoid being crushed by the bale, but Pat has dropped the last parcel onto the water wheel.
He climbs up there to get it, but the wheel starts turning, and he has to do some more acrobatics to get down safely.
So now Charlie and Bill are convinced that Pat is a superhero. “Don’t worry Pat, your secret’s safe with us.”
Media Centre Description: Children’s animation.
Recorded from CBeebies on Sunday 19 February 2006 12:58
The next recording starts with an epic trailer for Planet Earth, and a less epic trailer for Just The Two of Us. And one for Gideon’s Daughter.
Then, strap yourselves in, as we’re back to one of this blog’s special treats, it’s The Orange British Academy Film Awards 2006.
It’s hosted, as it frequently was in those days, by Stephen Fry.
The first award is the Orange Rising Star award, presented by Patrick Stewart.
It’s won by James McAvoy
The award for Visual Effects is presented by Thandie Newton.
It’s won by the team for King Kong, Joe Letteri, Richard Taylor, Brian Van’t Hul and Christian Rivers.
After a look at the first Best Film nominee, The Constant Gardener, the award for best Foreign Language film is presented by Matt Dillon.
It’s awarded to The Beat That My Heart Skipped and accepted by Linh Dan-Pham.
The next award is presented by Jake Gyllenhaal. It’s the Carl Foreman award for Outstanding debut by a British Writer, Producer or Director.
It’s won by Joe Wright for Pride & Prejudice.
The next award is for Editing, and presented by Rupert Grint and William Moseley (from the Chronicles of Narnia films).
It’s won by Claire Simpson for The Constant Gardener.
The Michael Balcon award for Outstanding contribution to British Cinema is presented by Matthew Modine.
It’s awarded to A Gaffer and a Best Boy, Chuck Finch and Billy Merrell.
After the In Memoriam section, the next award is for Best Supporting Actor, presented by Charlize Theron.
It’s won by Jake Gyllenhaal for Brokeback Mountain.
Then the programme takes a break for the news.
Media Centre Description: Coverage of the Orange British Academy Film Awards from the Odeon Leicester Square, hosted by Stephen Fry. Guest presenters include Renee Zellweger, Pierce Brosnan, Charlize Theron and Imelda Staunton.
Recorded from BBC ONE on Sunday 19 February 2006 20:58
There’s a trailer for The Apprentice, and then the News starts, leading with the refusal of a city in Iraq to cooperate with British troops after the revelations of mistreatment of Iraquis during the war. There’s also news about the search for survivors in a huge mudslide in the Philippines.
The next recording, thankfully, is the second part of The Orange British Academy Film Awards 2006. It starts with the end of the News bulletin, a trailer for 2 Pints of Lager and a Packet of Crisps. Then the Baftas recommence.
Felicity Huffman presents the next award, for Best Original Screenplay.
The winner is Crash, accepted by Paul Haggis and Bobby Moresco. I’ve never seen Crash and all I know about it is that it’s considered one of the weaker Best Picture Oscar winners
The next presenter is Mr Felicity Huffman, William H Macy, presenting Best Supporting Actress.
The winner, for Crash, is Thandie Newton.
The next presenters are Mischa Barton and a very young, Fantastic Four era Chris Evans, presenting the award for Best Adapted Screenplay.
It’s won for Brokeback Mountain, and accepted by Heath Ledger.
Kristin Scott Thomas presents the Alexander Korda award for Outstanding British Film.
The winner, much to my delight, was Wallace & Gromit: Curse of the Were Rabbit. Accepted by Nick Park
Wallace himself, Peter Sallis, also says a few words.
Pierce Brosnan is the next presenter, presenting the David Lean award for Best Director.
The winner is Ang Lee for Brokeback Mountain.
Jude Law presents Best Actress.
The winner is Reese Witherspoon, who is not there, so Christina Ricci accepts on her behalf.
Imelda Staunton presents the award for Best Actor.
The winner is Philip Seymour Hoffman. It’s desperately sad to think that two of the nominees in this category died so young, Hoffman and Heath Ledger.
The final award is Best Film, presented by Renee Zellweger.
It’s won by Brokeback Mountain, and accepted by producer James Schamus.
The final award of the night is the Fellowship, and it’s presented by Richard Attenborough.
It’s awarded to David Puttnam.
Sorry, I couldn’t resist including a hug.
His speech made me cry, so here’s someone else’s upload.
Then we get the quickfire section of ‘awards presented earlier’. Andy Serkis presents the Anthony Asquith award for Best Film Music.
It’s won by John Williams for Memoirs of a Geisha, and accepted on his behalf by Zhang Ziyi.
Best Make Up & Hair is presented by James Purefoy and Neve Campbell
The winners are Greg Nicotero, Howard Berger and Nikki Gooley for The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe.
Diane Kruger presents the award for Best Short Animation
It’s won by Fallen Art
Best Costume Design is also presented by James Purefoy and Neve Campbell, and won by Colleen Atwood for Memoirs of a Geisha
Best Short Film, also presented by Diane Kruger, is won by Antonio’s Breakfast.
Ioan Gruffudd and Kelly Reilly present the award for Best Sound.
The winner is Walk The Line
They also present Best Cinematography to Dion Beebe for Memoirs of a Geisha.
Christina Ricci and Ashley Walters present the award for Production Design.
It’s won by Stuart Craig for Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire.
Media Centre Description: Further coverage of the Orange British Academy Film Awards from the Odeon Leicester Square, hosted by Stephen Fry.
After this, there’s a trailer for Gideon’s Daughter, Davina McCall’s chat show, and The Apprentice.
Then, there’s quite a bit of an episode of Rail Cops, following the work of the British Transport Police. Its a strange combination of drunks, racists, drunk racists, and wanking in a car park. The recording stops just as they discover a dead body on the railway line. Three of my best friends from school ended up joining the police. I don’t think I could cope with it.
The last recording today ends with a tantalising few frames of the end of an episode of The West Wing. I wonder why I’m not taping that.
Then, an episode of Father Ted – Speed 3. The local milkman, Pat Mustard, is sleeping with lots of women on his round. Even Mrs Doyle is taken with him.
Ted and Dougal have been judging the Baby Parade, and have noticed the the babies were all very hairy. They realise that perhaps Pat Mustard could be the father of all of them.
Ted and Dougal go on a stakeout, and see Pat visiting a lot of women on his round.
They take their evidence to the head of the company who sacks Pat, but he needs a replacement, and Dougal offers.
Pat is not happy about being sacked, and phones Ted, telling him there’s a bomb on the milk float, and it will be primed if the float goes over 4 miles an hour, then explode if it drops below 4mph.
Dougal’s customers are expecting Pat. Dougal doesn’t notice they’re naked.
Ted catches up with Dougal to ask if he’s going faster than 4mph. “I am now” says Dougal.
The bomb primes itself, and there’s a great sight gag as the camera tracks under the milk float showing all the explosives, and it’s way longer than the milk float should be.
There’s a pile of boxes in the road – of course there is. Ted drives ahead and starts moving them. One by one. As Dougal is slowly approaching. This is, by turns, hilarious and genuinely tense. The gag is stretched to extreme breaking point but never actually breaks. It’s rather sublime.
The payoff is just as brilliant. Dougal safely drives past, then Ted gets in the car to follow, smashing through the boxes.
Ted consults some other priests for advice, and their best suggestion is to say a mass.
After the mass doesn’t help, they look for inspiration in disaster movies, like Towering Inferno and The Poseidon Adventure (Gene Hackman was a priest in that one) but with no success. “Well that was no help at all.” “He didn’t even say mass.” There’s been a running gag about a brick in the parochial house, so Ted has an idea. He explains as he’s sketching out his plan, then we see what he’s been drawing.
It almost goes wrong, when Dougal picks up the brick.
But he gets out of the float and it carries on down the road, heading towards the phone booth where Pat is still ranting down the phone at Ted, who put the phone down hours ago.
There’s even a post-credits sting, where Ted is putting the rubbish out, sees something flying through the air, then getting hit on the head by the brick from the exploding milk float, plus one of the signs Pat had in his float.
Media Centre Description: Sitcom about three Irish priests. Dougal takes over a milk round when playboy milkman Pat Mustard is sacked. Unfortunately, Pat is upset at the idea.
Recorded from More 4 on Monday 20 February 2006 01:18
After this, there’s the start of an episode of Grand Designs Abroad.
Do Shado only have one company car that’s shared among all its personnel? In recent episodes I’ve seen about four different characters driving it, and now George Cole. And why is it such an awful colour?
After Hyperdrive, now Shado are doing stress testing too.
Media Centre Description: Sci-fi adventure series about a secret organisation set up to combat aliens. Aliens exploit a man’s devotion to his wife to make him turn traitor.
Recorded from ITV4 on Saturday 18 February 2006 18:58
The first recording starts with the end of an episode of Rock School. Gene Simmons doesn’t seem to be popular with the kids right now. Here’s the whole episode in case you want to watch.
Then, the aforementioned repeat of Peep Show, which is followed by a few minutes of 8 out of 10 Cats. The panellists are Sally Lindsay
and Sean Lock.
Media Centre Description: Comedy series about two socially dysfunctional losers who share a south London flat. Merry, an eccentric old friend from university, returns and offers Jeremy the chance to manage a pub. Jeremy invites Super Hans to join him as a business partner, but Super Hans refuses to serve beer. Mark and Sophie are beginning to go steady when Sophie is moved away from London by her work.
Recorded from E4 on Thursday 16 February 2006 23:28
The next recording is a Catch-Up so it starts with end of Rock School again. See Above. But after Peep Show there’s the start of an episode of Desperate Housewives.