Today’s recording starts with the end of Newsround.
Then, a viewer helps to introduce Blue Peter.
This episode of Blue Peter is a Sport Relief special. I’ve probably moaned before about the paucity of imagination that goes into naming these Sport charity things. First, Sport Aid was named after Band Aid (a genuine pun) now Sport Relief is named after Comic Relief (another genuine pun). It has such an air of “That’ll do”.
The challenge is to run, swim or ride a mile, but Zoe does something different – free-falling a mile from a plane.
Konnie visits Honduras, where small children have to risk their safety working at making fireworks.
Gethin visits a young man in a poor town, with a gang problem, and looks at ways to help children have safe places to go to keep them out of gangs.
Matt meets Roger Bannister fifty years after he first ran a mile in less than four minutes.
Media Centre Description: Children’s magazine with information, topical items and performance.
The first recording today opens with a trailer for the next episode of Doctor Who.
Then, an episode of The Catherine Tate Show. This is a repeat of the second season. The first sketch is the gritty detective show in which the hard-bitten woman detective has to bring the children to work. Very black humour.
There’s the woman who embarrasses herself at a party by drawing attention to other people’s physical differences by accident.
The couple who run London’s premier exclusive wigmakers. All their clients are top secret, so the joke is that they are always accidentally outing (unlikely) celebrity clients.
Una Stubbs plays their receptionist.
Lauren goes to the gym.
Derek (I looked up his name on Wikipedia) is offended when the man in the non-brand CD/DVD shop tells him they have tickets for the local Gay Pride event. “How very dare you.”
Lee Ross off of Press Gang appears in a sketch about a couple who find the slightest odd happening infinitely hilarious. The actual material is thin, but I like the performances.
The sort-of posh couple who are horrified at a grape and cheese sandwich. “Dirty, robbing bastards.”
“Dame Judi’s Coffee”
The annoying diner where the servers “perform” all the time. That’s Matthew Horne, there, dancing along to The Nolans’ “I’m in the mood for dancing”.
Nan really is monstrous. It’s a great performance, but a very dark creation.
Media Centre Description: Award-winning comedy sketch series co-written and performed by the versatile comedy actress, featuring a gallery of memorable characters. Lauren goes to a gym, and wigmakers to the stars Ivan and Trudy are introduced.
After this, there’s a very dark trailer for the Hampton Court Palace Flower Show.
One for Rob Brydon’s Annually Retentive which I cannot recall a single thing about, but I do appear to have one episode of it in the collection, so that’ll come up in a few weeks.
Finally a rather blokey trailer for what looks like a ‘comedy drama’ about postal workers called Sorted. It stars quite a few familiar faces of the type that you recognise, but can’t necessarily put your finger on right away. “That bloke off Two Pints. That one who played Shakespeare in Doctor Who. The woman who played Yvonne Hartman in Doctor Who.” And going by the cast list, it also features Nina Sosanya, “That woman who played Chloe’s mother in Doctor Who.” Well, I think you can see how my TV habits are irrevocably skewed in certain directions, because one of the main actors in this, Neil Dudgeon (I did have to look him up) is off of Midsomer Murders, which is huge, but which I’ve never watched. It’s that awful ITV bias, which these days I blame on the woeful state of ITV’s on-demand service, and not on my inherent snobbery growing up in a family where we just usually watched the BBC most of the time.
After this, because BBC2 spits in the face of video recording devices, the next episode of Saxondale starts, but cuts off during the opening Anger Management scene. I do remember getting really cross at the time that this was happening so much, and for some programmes I started not scheduling single programmes on the same channel, but would instead set a manual recording to cover the time for multiple programmes, just so it wouldn’t cut off the recordings. I wonder if I’ve saved any of those recordings. Actually, I can just check… and I find that looking at the apparent durations of all my Doctor Who recordings, most of the series four recordings clock in a close to two hours, which may be because at that time the show was followed by something else we liked to watch, but let’s wait until they come up before looking. Gosh, I really know how to build long-term tension in the blog.
So, as you might expect, the next recording continues where the previous one cut out with Saxondale. After the Anger Management opening, Tommy is giving a euology at a funeral for a fellow roadie. He tells the charming and heartwarming story of the time they were both working on a Jethro Tull tour, and his deceased friend took the less attractive groupie (“face like a beekeeper’s apprentice”) leaving the one who looked like “a young Audrey Hepburn” for Tommy. “I’ll never forget him disappearing off down the corridor. He just looked back and he said ‘Fill yer boots, son’. That’s just the way he was.”
In the pub later, he meets an old mate, Deggsy. He needs somewhere to stay for a while so Tommy says he can park his camper van on his driveway.
Strangely, also in this scene is Mark Arden, who’s also credited, but who appears for precisely two shots, both short reaction shots, and he has no lines at all. Deggsy obviously knows him, and he obviously knows Deggsy, as he rolls his eyes when he arrives, but that’s the sum total of his appearance here. I suspect there was a scene before this that was cut for time.
Deggsy is still trying to be a party animal, while Tommy has managed to grow out of most of that, but doesn’t really want to admit it to Deggsy.
At the pub, Deggsy asks two young women to join them. Tommy asks “How do you do it, mate? I don’t know. Unbelievable.” “I’m a regular. We’ll get a two for one discount. It’s midweek.” You can actually see Tommy deflate at that. Coogan’s very good. Tommy’s partner for the evening is Desiree. “My real name’s Rachel, but Desiree is more erotic.” She’s played by Daisy Haggard, and Tommy ends up just talking to her all night.
Magz has had enough, and tells Tommy that Deggsy has to go.
Tommy breaks the news to Deggsy, admitting that yes, he’s changed, and he does have a pipe and slippers, and he can’t party like he used to. As he’s going back upstairs, he hears a thump. Cut to them in an ambulance, and it’s not looking good for Deggsy. But the episode ends with the news that Deggsy is having his leg amputated, and Tommy offers to pay for a prosthetic limb. He tries to make light of it on the phone to Deggsy. “It won’t be the cheapest – that’s basically a peg. We might as well go the whole hog and give you a parrot and a hat.” When he rings off he says “Shit. He was watching Pirates of the Carribean.”
Media Centre Description: Comedy series about Tom Saxondale, an ex-roadie who’s settled in suburbia.
After this, there’s an invitation to catch up with the series so far by “Logging on to our broadband website”. Given this was pre-iPlayer, I wonder what this means. Clips, I would imagine.
There’s a look at what’s on now on the various channels. BBC Four isn’t featured presumably because at this time it’s halfway through a documentary about Culloden.
There’s also trailers for Johnny Vegas’ World Cup Tapes and BBC World Cup coverage.
There’s also a trailer for a drama, Soundproof.
The recording ends with the start of Newsnight leading with British troops in Afghanistan.
Saturday rolls around once more, and it’s time to embark on the two-part finale of Doctor Who series two with Army of Ghosts.
This blog has handily coincided with our attempt to rewatch series 1-4 before we get brand new Doctor Who for the 60th anniversary in November. My youngest daughter was only a few months old when this series originally went out, and although we have been known to revisit the show from time to time, she’s very much a child of the Eleventh doctor, so we’ve been catching her up.
We watched most of this series a few months ago when the episodes started coming up on the blog, getting through almost all of them in less than a week. Until we got to the end of Fear Her and the trailer for this episode, and another of my daughters was crying just watching the trailer, so they both didn’t feel emotionally up to watching this immediately. I’d periodically ask them if they wanted to pick up again, and they’d never really be in the mood.
But now this episode has arrived in the blog queue, so I had to put my foot down, and we watched both episodes.
My goodness, it’s still ridiculously good.
The pre-titles sequence is a montage of Rose and the Doctor, narrated by Rose. It even featured a short shot from an alien planet we’ve never seen, hinting at stories we haven’t been told, and has a similar feel as the Next Time trailer from last week. Except this one is doubling down on the foreboding. “He showed me the whole of time and space. I thought it would never end.” “How long are you going to stay with me?” “For ever.” ‘That’s what I thought. But then came the Army of Ghosts. Then came Torchwood, and the War. And that’s when it all ended. This is the story of how I died.” Obviously, I’m crying already.
After the titles, Rose and the Doctor arrive back on the Powell estate, and get a lovely greeting from Jackie. Even the Doctor gets a kiss and a hug. “Mwah! Oh, you lovely big fella! Oh, you’re all mine! Yes, you are! Mwah!” I love Jackie so much.
But Jackie has news of her own. She tells Rose that her Grandad is coming to see them. Rose thinks she must be going mad, because her Grandad died ten years ago. But sure enough, a ghost appears in the kitchen.
They’re outside too, lots of them. “You haven’t got long. Midday shift only lasts a couple of minutes, they’re about to fade.” “What d’you mean, shift?! Since when did ghosts have shifts?” and then we cut to The Torchwood Institute, where it looks like they might have something to do with the ghosts. “Ladies and gentlemen, I’d like to announce we’ve just measured the Ghost Energy at 5,000 gigawatts. Give yourselves a round of applause!”
There’s a rather brilliant TV montage, as Jackie catches them up to what’s been going on. There’s a regular “Ghostwatch”, a woman on Trisha who wants to marry a ghost, and an appearance from Barbara Windsor as Peggy Mitchell in Eastenders. “The only spirits I’m serving in this place are gin, whisky and vodka, So, you heard me, get out!” They turn the TV off, and the Doctor asks “But when did it start?” and Jackie answers “Well, Peggy heard this noise in the cellar, so she goes down…” “No, I mean, worldwide.” This script is really funny.
Back at Torchwood, and the staff are flirting over instant messages, including Adeola, played by a pre-Martha Freema Agyeman.
The UI for their chat app is a bit rubbish. Surely this was the heyday of MSN Messenger, so why is their chat set up like a bad email client?
She and Gareth Evans (not that one) nip out for a quick snog where some offices are being refurbished, but she ends up being refurbished herself – by a Cyberman! I was surprised this reveal came so early in the episode, but I suppose they were in the trailer too. The return to the office, but now they’re looking a bit blank, and their bluetooth earpieces are flashing, so we know what’s happened.
The Doctor sets about trying to triangulate where the ghosts are coming from. He does an ill-advised refrain of the Ghostbusters theme which the fans of the time really didn’t like. I do love his vaguely organic backpack.
But the Doctor’s tampering has set off alarms at Torchwood. Who obviously know all about him. I should also say that there’s two young men in the Torchwood office, who look almost identical. I got confused watching this, because one of them was just zapped by the Cybermen, and then here he is talking to Yvonne Hartman as if he was perfectly normal – but it’s not him it’s the other one who looks just like him. I do find that young men in TV shows all tend to blend together. I’ve probably complained before about watching shows like Agents of Shield and not being able to tell one chiselled-jaw bearded hunk from another. This is another example of this.
The Doctor has located the source of the energy that’s releasing the ghosts, and he heads there in the Tardis. “Allons-y!” he shouts, and he starts talking excitedly about meeting someone called Alonso, until he notices Rose is looking strangely at him. She mouths “My mum’s still on board.” I laughed so hard at this. And the comedy interplay between Jackie and the Doctor is so good throughout this that it totally distracts from the fact that her being there is quite a large plot contrivance. “If we end up on Mars I’m going to kill you” she tells him.
They land in Torchwood headquarters, but they’re expected, and a large contingent of men with guns surround the Tardis. Rose is worried. “Doctor! They’ve got guns.” “And I haven’t, which makes me the better person, don’t you think? They can shoot me dead, but the moral high ground is mine!” But when he emerges, he’s greeted surprisingly warmly by the head of Torchwood, the previously mentioned Yvonne Hartman, played by Tracy Ann Oberman. I think she might have been big because of Eastenders at the time, but I wouldn’t have known that, so I remembered her from Big Train. Hartman seems thrilled that the Doctor has visited them, and keeps applauding. As she tells the Doctor, she’s a people person.
But there’s still an underlying menace there – aided by the still-armed military types. She asks where his companion is. So he reaches into the Tardis and brings out Jackie. This scene is hilarious, even though he’s very rude about Jackie. “And just last week, she stared into the heart of the Time Vortex and aged 57 years, but she’ll do.” “I’m 40!” “Deluded. Bless.”
Hartman shows him around Torchwood, and takes him to see their biggest mystery. In the Sphere room. It holds a giant sphere, just floating in the air. “We’ve tried analysing it, using every device imaginable. But according to our instruments, the Sphere doesn’t exist. It weighs nothing. It doesn’t age. No heat, no radiation and has no atomic mass.” “But I can see it” says Jackie. “Fascinating, isn’t it? It upsets people, because it gives off nothing. It is absent.” The Doctor identifies it as a Void Ship, designed to live in the void between universes.
Hartman also shows him the room at the top of the building where they trigger the ghosts. Jackie recognises the view. “Hold on a minute. We’re in Canary Wharf. Must be. This building, it’s Canary Wharf!” Cue an aerial shot of Canary Wharf that might even have come from the titles of The Apprentice. Hartman tells the Doctor that they built Canary Wharf because they detected a radar hotspot, so they built the tower around it. And then the sphere came through causing a breach between worlds, and letting the ghosts come through.
There’s a great standoff between the Doctor and Hartman, after he explains why the breach is incredibly dangerous and they should cancel all their experiments. In the end it’s Hartman who blinks, and cancels the scheduled Ghost Shift until they can find out more.
Rose, having stayed in the Tardis when it was taken away, is investigating on her own. She finds the Sphere room, and uses the psychic paper on Rajesh, the scientist looking after the sphere. Unfortunately “Everyone in Torchwood has at least a basic level of psychic training. This paper is blank and you’re a fake. Seal the room. And call security.”
He asks his assistant, Samuel, to check the door locks, and when he turns, we see it’s Mickey! I seem to remember this was a huge surprise at the time, even though the presence of Cybermen ought to have tipped me off.
Rajesh tells Hartman they’ve got a visitor, and the Doctor has to admit that that’s Rose, and Jackie is her mother. But before they can get too much into this, the Ghost Shift starts. Cyber-Adeola and her now two cyber-friends are overriding the locks and starting the shift. The Doctor examines the earpods, and realises what’s happened. He tells Hartman to leave them alone, and of course she doesn’t. “Oh, God! It goes inside their brain!” This was nice and yucky.
Pretty soon, the Cybermen who have been lurking in the renovated section of the building have appeared and taken control of the room. “Here come the ghosts.”
Down in the Sphere room, the Sphere is opening. Mickey is armed and ready for whatever Cyber-creation is to come out.
There’s a montage as the Cybermen start appearing everywhere. The Doctor asks the leader of the Cybermen how they obtained a Void Ship, but they tell him they merely followed the sphere through the spacetime breach.
Mickey and Rose watch as the Sphere opens and out comes – daleks! Another amazing cliffhanger. The director of this episode was Graeme Harper (who also directed the earlier Cyberman two-parter) and he certainly knows how to deliver the cliffhangers.
Media Centre Description: The human race rejoices as the ghosts of loved ones return home. But as the Doctor, Rose and Jackie investigate the Torchwood Tower, a trap is being sprung, and the whole of modern-day Earth threatens to fall before an almighty invasion force.
After that, let’s find out how they made it in Doctor Who Confidential. We first hear from Raji James, who plays sphere watcher Rajesh.
Noel Clarke talks about his return as Mickey Smith.
Voice of the Daleks Nick Briggs says he was “a bit prima-donna-ish earlier” for asking for a cup of tea because his throat was getting sore.
Russell T Davies talks about the Daleks returning “because that’s what they do.”
Billie Piper talks about the first time she encountered a dalek, and how it was the first time she’d seen the Doctor afraid.
Phil Collinson: “I don’t think they tended to put monsters together on the old series.” Surely he’s forgotten my favourite team-up – Daleks and Ogrons in Day of the Daleks.
David Tennant: “It’s one of those things, I think, people who who watched the show casually in years gone by imagine has happened before, They imagined that the Daleks and Cybermen must have fought each other. They never have. it’s a real Doctor Who first.” And he looks delighted about it.
Tracy Ann Oberman sounds thrilled to be on set with all the Doctor Who paraphernalia.
Camille Coduri tells the story of when she bumped into a Cyberman on the way to set, as he was working out his moves, “and I said ‘Oh Sorry’ and he just stared at me and just turned in a very robotic way. He didn’t even say anything. I thought ‘you could at least say it’s OK’ he didn’t say anything, which really shook me up even more. What a scaredy cat.” So it was either method acting, or he couldn’t hear or see anything in the helmet.
Clayton Hickman takes us through all the Torchwood references previous to this episode. And Russell explains the origin of the name. Someone in the Doctor Who office was sending out early viewing tapes of the show, and was worried that having “Doctor Who” all over them might lead to them being stolen, so he came up with Torchwood – an anagram of Doctor Who.
The programme also looks forward to the spin-off show Torchwood. Exec Julie Gardner talks about the importance of tone meetings.
We even see a brief look at one of those meetings, with Julie asking “What about violence and gore? What about sex? Sorry to sound like Mary Whitehouse”.
Because the series will feature Captain Jack Harkness, Steven Moffat is there to talk about who he is.
There’s a glimpse of a read-through for episode one.
We hear from Eve Myles.
And John Barrowman.
Back to Doctor Who, and legendary director Graeme Harper.
Will Cohen talks about ghost effects.
Here’s the whole episode.
Media Centre Description: Going behind the scenes of Doctor Who.
The first recording today starts with the end of an episode of Bamzooki. There’s a trailer for The Likeaballs.
Then, another episode of SMart and another episode from an older season.
Mark draws a picture with colours from the four seasons.
Susan does a photo-montage of the Royal Pavilion in Brighton.
Mark does some cartooning.
Kirsten does a drawing with ink on wet paper.
The big floor picture is a Giant Panda.
Media Centre Description: The programme that turns everyday objects into exciting and easy-to-make pictures, as well as answering art queries.
BBC Genome: CBBC Channel Friday 30 June 2006 08:45 (all the CBBC Genome links are currently broken. I’m persisting in the hope that they’ll fix it all one day and they’ll magically start working.)
Next, it’s a day later than its first showing, but at least I haven’t missed this week’s episode of Totally Doctor Who (I did miss one a week or so ago).
Liz is drawing Barney, riffing off Chloe in Fear Her.
Production Designer Edward Thomas is in the studio to talk about design.
He shows off a 1/50 scale cardboard model of one of the sets for The Impossible Planet.
They talk to artist Shaun Williams who was responsible for drawing all of Chloe’s drawings in Fear Her.
They have some children in the studio who have to do a bit of set dressing.
Companion Academy is a task to separate friends from foes. It’s very Generation Game.
Another guest in the studio is Abisola Agbaje who played Chloe Webber.
Barney goes to meet Doctor Who cartoonist Mike Collins.
Barney gets to design a character for his latest strip – he’s not a bad artist. It’s a Cat Pirate?
There’s another round of the quiz Who-Ru. These two contestants look really young.
Here’s the whole episode.
Media Centre Description: Barney Harwood and Liz Barker present a show celebrating the the latest adventures of the last living Time Lord. They look at anything and everything that Doctor Who has inspired children to create and do – from TARDIS-shaped garden sheds to new alien designs, from DIY special effects to new versions of the theme music. There’s also the Companion Academy, in which eight young hopefuls who think they’ve got what it takes to travel with a Time Lord are recruited.
The last recording today opens with the end of an episode of Come Outside. There’s a trailer for The Koala Brothers.
Then, another episode of Andy Pandy – The Big Sneeze. Andy Pandy has a nasty cold. I hope he’s done a lateral flow test.
Teddy’s knitting technique is a little strange.
The ball of wool flies out of the window, and Tiffo finds it, tying up the playground with wool.
Bilbo tidies up the wool.
Teddy shows off the scarf, which isn’t bad considering he had never picked up knitting needles before, It’s more than I would manage. And top marks for masking up.
Next morning Andy is better, but poor Missy Hissy has caught his cold, after keeping him warm. She should have taken Teddy’s advice and worn a mask. But at least Bilbo has made a scarf from all the wool he collected.
Media Centre Description: Children’s animation with Andy Pandy and his friends Looby Loo and Teddy. Andy Pandy has caught a cold and can’t stop sneezing, but his friends help him feel better.
Recorded from CBeebies on Friday 30 June 2006 18:45
Today’s first recording opens with the end of an episode of Bamzooki, the “Robot Wars with CGI” gameshow that was almost involved in when it was originally pitched.
There’s a trailer for The Likeaballs.
Then, an episode of SMart – again claiming to be a CBBC. Africa Week Special. It’s got a different title sequence and there’s a third presenter, so I’m thinking this might be a repeat from an earlier series. The new (old?) presenter is Susan Ribeiro.
Susan is first up, and paints over some photocopied photos to give a Warhol-like effect.
There’s a fun effect by playing some fingers messing up a picture of a peacock in reverse.
Mark gives tips on drawing monsters.
Kirsten meets an artist who uses leftover scraps to make art.
Kirsten makes a large picture out of rice and spices.
Morph flies a kite.
Mark paints a large nighttime cityscape.
Media Centre Description: The programme that turns everyday objects into exciting and easy-to-make pictures, as well as answering art queries.
After this, there’s a trailer for CBBC World Cup coverage.
Then, there’s the start of Pinky and the Brain but it’s an episode we saw a while ago – Whatever Happened to Baby Brain.
The other recording today is another episode of Andy Pandy – Chocolate Extravaganza. Which is actually called Chocolate Eggstravaganza. Why does the BBC Metadata hate puns?
When Teddy says he’s not fond of eggs, and Andy says he bets he knows one sort of egg Teddy would like – chocolate eggs – he looks loke a Bond villain about to drop Teddy into a tank of sharks.
Obviously, Teddy wants to help to melt the chocolate, and equally obviously, Looby Loo tells him the chocolate is getting hot and Teddy might burn himself.
Andy and Looby hide the eggs in the garden, and Teddy goes off to look for them.
Teddy eats all the eggs himself, and leaves the foil wrappers lying around, so Looby Loo has a go at him for that.
Media Centre Description: Children’s animation in which Andy Pandy and his friends Looby Loo and Teddy have endless fun in their candy-coloured world. Andy Pandy and Teddy make chocolate eggs, and then go on an egg hunt.
Recorded from CBeebies on Thursday 29 June 2006 18:45
Today’s recording starts with the end of Come Outside if I’m recognising the end titles correctly.
There’s a trailer for The Koala Brothers.
Then, it’s more from Andy Pandy – The Tent. And and Teddy didn’t sleep well the previous night, because it was so hot. Their friend Bilbo suggests they get a sheet and some clothesline and string up a tent. Naturally, Andy doesn’t have a sheet or any clothesline – that’s a woman’s job – so Looby helps them out, and they pitch the tent. I wonder why nobody suggests to Andy that maybe he shouldn’t be sleeping in a thick cotton onesie when it’s hot.
Looby even has to help with bedclothes. How helpless is Andy? Teddy I can understand, he’s just a placeholder for a small child. The sexual politics in this are very old fashioned.
At least they’re doing camping in the garden properly – scoffing biscuits in the dark with a torch. Teddy even falls asleep with a biscuit in his hand. Our children used to do that regularly. Sometimes, we’d take the piece of food out of their hand so they wouldn’t drop it, and when they wake up, they’d try to eat the food that’s no longer there and get confused why it had magically disappeared.
Tiffo doesn’t know what the tent is so he attacks it, until Andy tells him what it’s for.
But as the night draws on, the wind picks up, it gets colder, and the wind blows away the sheet. They want to go back to their beds, and leave all their bedding behind.
Looby brings some warm sweet drinks for Andy and Teddy in the morning, because it’s colder than it was, and finds them gone.
The tent had blown over Missy Hissy’s house, and was blocking her in. Looby got Andy and Teddy to help, and the freed the sheet.
Media Centre Description: Children’s animation in which Andy Pandy and his friends Looby Loo and Teddy have endless fun in their candy-coloured world. It is a hot night, so Andy Pandy and Teddy make a tent so they can sleep outside.
Today, another episode of Saxondale. The recording starts with the episode in progress, so I’ve missed a bit from the start. This is probably because the recording started dead on 10pm, rather than the two minutes before, that I tried to schedule recordings, and BBC2 did sometimes start programmes a little before their advertised start time. I’m imagining that I might have recorded the previous programme (The Catherine Tate Show) as a separate recording, so the recordings would have switched at the scheduled time.
After another pre-titles session of anger management, the show opens in the shopping arcade – and I was surprised (and pleased) to see that this was filmed in Watford, in the old Charter Place arcade.
Magz’s shop has been censored by the local Traders Association for her offensive posters. “I only had that one poster of the Archbishop of Canterbury doing a moonie.” “The one where he’s got a firework up his bottom?”
Tim Key turns up trying to get Tommy to consolidate all his loans into one easy to pay sum. I think this is their first appearance on screen together.
Tommy and Magz have a meeting with the Traders’ Association about the shop. Adrian Scarborough chairs the meeting. There’s an amusing bit about a poster of Tinky Winky shooting the Tweenies with a rifle, and whether it was an AK-47 or a Heckler & Koch G36K.
Next morning, he comes down to breakfast, where young Raymond is already having his (he is staying with Tommy and Magz) and Magz has to whisper to him that he’s still got makeup on his face from the night before. This becomes a bit of a running gag, as he tries to convince Raymond that it was Magz playing a practical joke.
I notice that Tommy has replaced the crummy company van he had last week, which tells me that the first episode was almost certainly a pilot. It would also explain why that was the only episode directed by Ben Miller, who is credited as Script Editor on this episode.
Tommy and Raymond have a celebrity client. None other than Jerome Wilson, a not very thinly disguised version of Jeremy Clarkson, played by Ben Miller’s friend Alexander Armstrong. Tommy asks him if he wants to come to his Mustang owners club that weekend, and gets annoyed when Wilson says he’s got to do his gutters.
Next morning, Magz comes downstairs with a felt tip beard drawn on her face, to try to convince Raymond that the makeup the previous day was indeed a prank. But when she finds the Tommy used indelible marker, she’s cross enough to blow the whole gaff.
There’s another meeting of the Traders Association, and Tommy gets up to give a rather rambling speech. “You might be surprised to know that that man went on to become Sid Vicious. And although he died at the tender age of 21 from a heroin overdose, possibly murdered his girlfriend, I don’t think that detracts from the fact that it shows that a certain amount of skepticism towards authority can be beneficial.” He then starts talking about Rosa Parks.
Later, it’s time for the Mustang collectors meeting where real men go to talk about torque. Jerome Wilson unexpectedly turns up, which makes Tommy a little regretful that he’d had some custom T-Shirts made with his face on. “Now that I find offensive. But my wife would find it bloody hilarious, I’ll take twelve of them.”
Until he sees the back of the shirt. “Now that I do find offensive.” “But your wife…?” “Would also find that pretty offensive.”
I’m warming to this, as I think I did first time round. It’s not quite the density of comedy of an I’m Alan Partridge but it’s funny enough.
Media Centre Description: Comedy series about Tom Saxondale, an ex-roadie who’s settled in suburbia. Tom fights the forces of conformity when his girlfriend Magz’s shop is censored and gives trainee Raymond an insight into how to deal with famous clients.
After this, there’s some trailers. Another trailer for The Convent.
A trailer for a comedy drama called Coup! written by John Fortune and starring Jared Harris.
And a surprisingly not-rubbish advert for BBC Digital TV. This one is actually quite fun, and not the nightmare fuel or cringe-inducer that previous adverts for digital products have been.
Then, there’s the start of Newsnight leading with the resignation of Charles Clarke.
Straight to Saturday Night today, for the next episode of Doctor Who – Fear Her. This one was written by Life on Mars and Bonekickers co-creator Matthew Graham, and is another episode that fans at the time really didn’t seem to like. I wonder if it’s because it features a young child, which is often something disliked by various fandoms (see Acting Ensign Wesley Crusher).
The episode opens with a banner for the London 2012 Olympics, so this was set in the future. It’s a quiet looking close of houses, but there’s something lurking under the surface, as the camera lingers on a poster asking for information on a missing girl, and an old lady (Eastenders’ Edna Doré) tells the two boys playing football in their front garden to go inside. “They’re not safe!” “They’re in the garden!” “That’s what it likes! It likes it when they’re playing! Get ’em in! I’m begging you!”
But she’s right, because moments later, one of the boys has just vanished. Meanwhile, up in her room, a young girl has drawn a picture of the missing boy, which then comes to life…
After the titles, the Tardis lands, and there’s a great gag, as it’s landed with the door facing a wall, so the Doctor has to take off and land again.
I still have no idea who Shayne Ward is, but I completely understood the joke being made, as Rose says “So, near future then?” (Wikipedia confirms my suspicion that he was an X-Factor winner, which is what I thought the joke was referring to.)
Rose and the Doctor walk up the street, and notice the posters for the missing kids. It’s also cold there. The Doctor finds another cold spot in the garden where the boy disappeared. Another odd thing is cars keep stopping at a particular spot in the road. Council worker Kel, played by Abdul Salis, says “Fifth today! That’s not natural, is it? All the cars are doing it and you know what, it’s bonkers.” He tells Rose the council have been doing the road up because the Olympic torch is passing the end of the street.
The locals are asking the Doctor why he’s nosing around, and he’s having more trouble than usual persuading them he’s there to help. The missing boy’s dad is played by Tim Faraday, who would also appear in Primeval later. But he finally gains their trust and they ask for his help.
The little girl who drew the pictures is watching them all from her bedroom window. Her mother (played by Nina Sosanya) goes to talk to her, asking why she’s not left her room, and about the picture she’s drawn of the boy who vanished. “That’s Dale. Why did you draw him so sad?” “I didn’t draw him like that. Dale made himself sad. So I’m going to draw him a friend. That’s what he needs – more friends.” She tries to ask about nightmares she’s been having, but Chloe doesn’t want to engage, and then says “I’m busy! Unless you want me to draw you…Mum.”
The Doctor and Rose see the cat in the garden go into a cardboard box, then it’s not there. “Ion residue. Blimey! That takes some doing. Just to snatch a living organism out of space-time.” Rose hears a noise in one of the garages, opens it, and is attacked by a three dimensional scribble. The Doctor shrinks it down, and finds it’s made of graphite, like a pencil lead. Rose deduces that perhaps it’s the little girl in the window. “Even her own mum looked scared of her.”
They use a nice bit of reverse psychology on Chloe’s mum. “Why? Why do you want to see Chloe?” “Well, there’s some interesting stuff going on in this street and I just thought… Well, we thought that she might like to give us a hand. Sorry to bother you.” “Yeah, sorry.” “We’ll let you get on with things. On your own. Bye again.” “Wait… Can you help her?” “Yes, I can.”
While the Doctor is talking to Chloe downstairs, Rose is checking out her room, and finds a terrifying picture on the wall of her closet, and voice saying “I’m Coming”. It’s a picture of Chloe’s dad, who died a year ago, and was obviously an abusive man.
They need to know how Chloe is doing all of this. The Doctor puts Chloe to sleep so he can speak to whatever has taken over Chloe.
It’s something called an Isolus. They travel for thousands of years, whole families travelling space together, using their ionic powers to create entertainment as they travel. But a solar flare caused one of them to fall to Earth. And it found Chloe, because she was also lonely. It also won’t stop, as it wants to find its family, waiting in space.
The noises from the closet are getting louder. The Doctor asks Chloe’s mum how she calms Chloe down, and she sings the Kookaburra song to her.
Rose and the Doctor go back to the Tardis to locate the Isolus pod. They find its signal in the road, but as they’re returning there, the Doctor disappears. Rose runs to Chloe’s room and finds she’s captured the Doctor in a picture.
Rose has to find the Isolus pod. She knows it needs heat, and works out it must have been the tar that Kel used to fill in a pothole earlier in the week, so she grabs a pickaxe to dig it out.
But the Isolus needs more friends, so Chloe draws a picture of the Olympic Stadium that she’s watching on TV, and everyone there disappears.
But it’s not enough. Chloe starts drawing a picture of the whole Earth on her wall, and she threatens to let out the picture of her father if they try to stop her. But Kel sees a picture move. The Doctor is giving Rose a clue. And Huw Edwards is commentating on the Olympic torch bearer. “I suppose it’s more than a torch now. It’s a beacon. It’s a beacon of hope and fortitude and courage. And it’s a beacon of love.”
Rose runs down to the end of the street where the torch is being carried past right that moment, and she throws the pod into the flame. “Feel the love.” It’s enough heat to kickstart the pod, and the Isolus leaves Chloe.
The missing kids are returned.
But the Doctor isn’t back, and the picture in Chloe’s closet seems to be coming to life as well. Rose tries to get into the house but the door is locked and Chloe and Mum cant get out. But they stop the monster from the closet by singing the Kookaburra song.
It seems that everyone is back. The Olympic stadium is full again, but still no sign of the Doctor. And the torch bearer collapses. Huw Edwards’ commentary goes into hyperbolic overdrive. “Hang on! The torch-bearer seems to be in trouble. We did see a flash of lightning earlier that seemed to strike him. Maybe he’s injured. He’s definitely in trouble. Does this mean that the Olympic dream is dead?” But suddenly, a hand picks up the torch and starts running with it. It’s the Doctor. Huw can’t contain his excitement. “There’s a mystery man. He’s picked up the flame and we’ve no idea who he is. He’s carrying the flame. Yes, he’s carrying the flame and no-one wants to stop him. It’s more than a flame now, Bob. It’s more than heat and light – it’s hope and it’s courage and it’s love.” Remarkably, the Doctor is able to take the torch right into the stadium, through all the security, and light the Olympic flame. “Go on, join your brothers and sisters. They’ll be waiting.” This is definitely the most unrealistic thing in the whole episode.
The Doctor and Rose are reunited at the street party. But the episode ends with a slightly foreboding note. “You know what? They keep on trying to split us up, but they never ever will.” “Never say “never ever”.” “Nah, we’ll always be OK, you and me. Don’t you reckon, Doctor?” “Something in the air. Something coming. What? A storm’s approaching.”
And then, one of the most effective Next Time trailers the show has ever done.
This still gives me chills. There’s so much happening, and although it does give away a lot of things (Torchwood! Cybermen!) the voiceover from Rose just makes it epic. “This is the last story I’ll ever tell.” And this coming just days after she’d announced she was leaving the show. Expectations were set way up for the two-part finale. Also, the final shot is Freema Agyeman, who played a small role, but not the one she’ll become most famous for on Doctor Who.
For some reason, my Media Centre metadata doesn’t have a programme description at all.
Next, inevitably, it’s Doctor Who Confidential – The Fright Stuff.
There’s some behind the scenes of the Doctor picking up the Olympic torch.
Russell T Davies explains why he set the story around the 2012 Olympics.
David Tennant on Fear Her. “Its very normality is what makes it creepier.”
Life on Mars creator Matthew Graham wrote the episode. “It’s the Doctor comes to Brookside Close”.
Billie Piper: “There’s something horrible about sinister children.”
Steven Moffat is wearing a Press Gang T-Shirt.
Rather wonderfully (for me, at least) Andrew Collins says “It’s a fear of parenting badly, you’ve done something wrong, they’ve gone a bit nuts.” I’m of the strong opinion that a huge amount of fiction depends on bad parenting, and it’s something I bore my children with regularly when watching films and TV. So it’s lovely to see Andrew Collins saying the same thing. And by coincidence, a character in Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse said the same thing, so I’m feeling that my opinion is being vindicated.
Clayton Hickman talks about the creepy schoolgirl in Remembrance of the Daleks.
Euros Lyn talks about the pivotal scene in episode 11, where the Doctor hypnotises Chloe and talks to the alien inside her. David Tennant says he felt like Max von Sydow in The Exorcist.
Abisole Agbaje played Chloe Webber, and talks about this scene, where the Doctor is finding out “What is in her actually, and why she’s really weird.”
Nina Sosanya played Chloe’s mother, and was impressed with the young actress. “She doesn’t seem to have much fear.”
Talking of creepy children, the programme goes back to the show’s OG creepy child, Susan, in An Unearthly Child and talks to the programme’s director Waris Hussein. Although he talks mostly about how little time and money they had making the show. But it’s a nice look at the beginnings of the show.
Murray Gold talks about the music, and how different sounds have different emotional effects on the audience.
There’s an amusing sequence in which 3rd Assistant Director Lynsey Muir talks about the afternoon they spent trying to get a cat to perform on cue.
For the scene where Rose has to use a pickaxe to break into Chloe’s room, Danny Hargreaves explains how they have to make a lightweight pickaxe. “It’s still made of steel, still pretty sharp and dangerous, but it’s just a lot more manageable.”
Abdul Salis, who played the council workman Kel, talks about his character in the climactic scene. “He’s just seen a red glowing wardrobe and a little girl drawing, very very fast, so he’s quite shell-shocked at all of that.” I should also point out that his appearance means that this episode features two actors from Love Actually (the other being Nina Sosanya).
Here’s the whole episode.
Media Centre Description: Going behind the scenes of Doctor Who. A look back at how Doctor Who has frightened households across the land for the past 40 years. The Doctors may have changed, but whether his adventures have been set in the creepy black and white of the 1960s or the glorious colour of 21st century, the mechanics of fear have always been the same.
Recorded from BBC THREE on Saturday 24 June 2006 19:43
I was hoping we might hit an exact anniversary this time round, but I haven’t got anything from June 21st 2006, so we’ve missed a birthday.
Oh well, let’s check in with Totally Doctor Who as Barney does an intro in the style of Love and Monsters.
This episode looks at the writer, and in the studio is Head Writer Russell T Davies.
In Companion Academy, they have to pronounce long words.
Liz and Russell look in the big filing cabinet, which features things sent in by viewers, and Russell shows storyboards for a story called Rise of the Titanic by Jamie Langdale. I wonder if he got a credit on Voyage of the Damned a couple of years later?
Barney gets to be a background artist in Love and Monsters.
There’s another round of Who-ru. This time, the Doctor Who star reading the questions is – Barney.
Here’s the whole episode.
Media Centre Description: Barney Harwood and Liz Barker present a show for children about the Doctor’s latest adventures. Barney makes his debut as a supporting artist in the episode Love and Monsters. Writer Russell T Davies is in the studio to talk about how he loves writing and Doctor Who. Four cadets are still in the Companion Academy and have to say some really long words. Two more contenders do battle and pit their Doctor Who brains against each other in the Who-ru challenge.
VHiStory 