Just one recording today, and it’s episode two of Jane Eyre. I’m not sure why I started recording this with episode 2. I don’t actually remember watching it at the time, but maybe we watched the first episode but just didn’t archive it.
It opens with a big fire in Mr Rochester’s room. He probably fell asleep with a fag in his mouth.
Looks like this production is going for the “shot only with natural light” thing, as this is murky as anything.
Jane thinks she heard someone laughing before the fire. She suspects one of the staff, Grace Poole, who is definitely sceptical that she heard anything, but seems very suspicious. She’s played by Pam Ferris.
Jane has lovely handwriting.
Jane (played by Ruth Wilson) works as a governess to Rochester’s young French ward, Adele, who’s very excited to be at a party thrown by Rochester when he brings many guests back to the house. Jane is slightly embarrassed to be there.
Francesca Annis plays Lady Ingram.
Toby Stephens plays Rochester, in full Blackadder “enormous trousers” acting mode. And he seems to be cosplaying Rupert Bear in this scene.
Christina Cole plays Blanche Ingram, one the guests, who is supposed to be a possible wife for Rochester.
One evening, a Ouija board forms part of the entertainment. It manages to offend Blanche by calling her heartless.
Anne Reid appears as a Gypsy woman who tells people’s fortunes. She tells Jane a lot of things that are true, and probes her about Rochester and his intentions towards Blanche, and whether Jane has any feelings on the matter.
But when Jane stops the session, Mr Rochester reveals he was there, listening to all his guests hearing their fortunes, including Jane’s, hoping to find out what she thinks about things. She clearly has no idea that he fancies her something rotten, and he’s such a pompous pig that he has no idea how to actually interact with a woman. He’s frighteningly like Hugh Grant, here.
During the night, the household is woken by a scream. Rochester assures all his guests that there’s nothing to worry about. But then he asks Jane to come with him, to a remote part of the house, where a young man, Richard Mason, is lying with a bad chest wound. He mumbles “I could not stop her… She has killed me” as Jane attends him, while Rochester has gone for the doctor. And a locked door in the corner of the room starts rattling.
Later, Jane is called away to visit her aunt, who had previously rejected her for being poor. Rochester practically begs her to stay, but she goes anyway, promising to return in two weeks.
Media Centre Description: Dramatisation of Charlotte Bronte’s classic novel. Jane finds she has a rival for Rochester’s attentions in the beautiful Blanche Ingram, and the gossip is that Rochester will soon propose marriage. A mysterious visitor from overseas brings great trouble to Thornfield. And Jane is called to Rochester’s aid once again.
After this, there’s a brief trailer for the next part, which follows later in the evening, but which I clearly didn’t record or keep. There’s a sting for Panorama, and a Fight Club flavoured trail for Children in Need.
Then, there’s the start of Songs of Praise which this week comes from a holiday camp in Minehead, and features “modern church music” performed by a “Praise Band”. The kind of thing that we used to describe as Happy Clappy. The first song is a bit strange, with lyrics that I can’t help interpreting as slightly rude. It’s also just a little dull. Well, it’s no Shine, Jesus, Shine.
Today’s stash of recordings looks like a lot, but on closer inspection, it’s two copies of two files.
First it’s an edited recording of the first episode of the much hyped new series Robin Hood – Will You Tolerate This?.
I remember this as being fun enough. It opens with some nice slow motion as a man is chased through a wood. The soldiers grab him and are about to take one of his fingers when a mysterious figure in the most ridiculous hood you’ve ever seen starts shooting arrows with amazing accuracy. Who could it be?
Behind the scenes his friend is pulling on a lot of strings to make the trees around them rustle, making the soldiers think they are surrounded. This is basically Home Alone with arrows. It’s a pity his friend is stupid. “Shame on you! Come back here again and my master and I shall see that you leave with more than just your TAILS between your legs!” he says, tipping the soldiers that there’s only two of them, so they turn around and chase them.
I get the feeling this show wants to be a bit more adult than its timeslot allows. They stop to help a man dig a ditch in return for some food, and of course the man’s daughter is all over Robin, despite him not being particularly interested. I don’t know much about make-up, but her face looks terribly modern – eyeliner and perfect eyebrows – and it did take me out of it slightly. I don’t mean everyone should look like Nanny McPhee, but she did seem anachronistic.
The father sees his daughter snogging Robin, and naturally there’s a fight, but Robin escapes with a backflip that they liked so much we get to see it from three different angles.
Robin and Much finally arrive in his home of Locksley. Sir Guy of Gisborne now oversees the village, played by the far too good looking Richard Armitage. He’s after some stolen flour, and is about to drag one of the boys of the village away when Robin reveals himself to be the Load of the manor, and tells Gisborne to leave.
Nottingham has a new sheriff, who seems to be a bad man. So he visits the house of the old sheriff who was there when he left for the crusades, to find out what has happened. It just so happens that the sheriff’s daughter is Marian (Lucy Griffiths). The sheriff doesn’t want to talk to Robin.
Back at Locksley Manor, one of the village tells Robin that Gisborne has arrested his sons for stealing the flour. Robin promises to take it up with the new sheriff. Robin attends the meeting of the local lords. The sheriff is played by Keith Allen, definitely trying for a bit of Alan Rickman, but not quite getting there. Robin proposes some radical changes to the local economy. “Stop all taxes. Today! Today is market day and yet there is no market. If a man can make more than he needs for his family he can take what remains to market. He can trade. And the shire can… take its share. But until then, we must help every man, every peasant, every pie-man, every pinner provide for his family. Get him trading again.” That sounds dangerously like communism to me, and naturally the Sheriff doesn’t think much of the idea.
Robin also visits the boys who were arrested. Luke and Will Scarlett, played by Jonathan Readwin and Harry Lloyd, along with Benedict, played by Josef Altin (who I recently misidentified as Taron Egerton in a BT commercial). Robin learns that they are going to be hanged for stealing flour.
There’s another prisoner, the man they saved at the start of the programme. He’s Allan A Dale (no, not Alan Dale off of Neighbours) played by Joe Armstrong.
Robin goes to see the sheriff and asks for clemency for the boys. But the sheriff has heard Robin has gone weak, and tells him they need to maintain order, to which end, he tells Robin that he will have to officiate at the hanging tomorrow.
The Old Sheriff sends word to Robin that he needs to speak to him. He has to be careful because the sheriff’s men have him watched. He has advice for Robin. “Robin, it is down to you my friend. Play Nottingham’s game. Speak to the lords. You can turn them. Do not make the mistake I and others have made and make your dissent public. Consolidate your position quietly.” They tell him he has to let his villagers die.
Next day, Robin attends the hanging. The sheriff’s men have taken his servant, Much, and threaten to throw him off the battlements if Robin doesn’t behave himself.
A priest interrupts the proceedings. “I came last night to administer their last rites. And each one came to God through me, repenting their sins and asking to take the cloth. I felt duty-bound to consult the Bishop and he in turn confers status of novice on to each man.” But the sheriff is not buying it.
The hanging starts, and Robin makes a decision. He grabs a bow from a guard, and starts shooting arrows at the ropes, letting them down, including the classic double arrow. “People of Nottingham… These men have committed no crime worth more than a spell in the stocks. Will you tolerate this injustice? I, for one, will not.” This was the first time in the whole episode that I thought it started working. There’s nothing like some arrow POV shots and rope shooting to get the blood stirring.
He frees Much by throwing a sword at the two men holding him. He was lucky Much was bent over like that.
After a surprisingly long time, the guards sort themselves out and one has an arrow aimed straight at Robin. But Marian throws a hairpin at him to throw off his aim.
The episode ends with a cliffhanger. Robin, Much and the rescued boys are hiding out in Sherwood Forest, when a group of men emerge, and announce “Excuse me! This is OUR forest.”
Media Centre Description: Drama series which gives a contemporary feel to the classic Robin Hood legend. Robin of Locksley heads home from the Crusades to find his people starving and brutalised under the tyrannical rule of the new Sheriff of Nottingham. He quickly discovers that the only way to reason with him is with bow and arrow, even if it means sacrificing his title and his lands and consigning himself to life in the forest.
The other recording from today actually played after Robin Hood. It’s a trailer for Torchwood which I clipped out because I was editing the main recording and I wanted to keep the trailer. After a few almost subliminal logo appearances, this was the first real trailer I have.
First today, more Extras. Andy is doing a charity appeal thing for clean drinking water. When he’s finished, the next person in is Chris Martin, who tries to get them to plug his new album as part of the appeal.
He recognises Andy and says “I could come on your show.” “I think it’s weird, celebrities just popping up in a sitcom, you know what I mean?” But Martin has some good lines. “Can we get on with this, I’ve got to do AIDS and Alzheimer’s and land-mines this afternoon and I wanna get back for Deal Or No Deal. Plus Gwyneth’s making drumsticks.”
Look, they’re still shooting the show. The chronology of this is making no sense whatsoever. Plus, the subtitles say “Canned Laughter” when it’s already established that there’s a live audience there. Gervais really is a bit up himself, isn’t he? But Chris Martin does indeed turn up.
“Well, this is going to sound absolutely ridiculous but do you mind performing a song for us?”
Andy is, inexplicably, nominated for Best Comedy Performance at the Baftas. For a show that as far as we know has been going for just a few weeks, and is still getting uniformly terrible reviews. He’s taking Maggie to the ceremony (so the nominations are announced less than a week before the ceremony?) so Maggie is looking for a nice dress, but a snooty woman in one of the shops makes her feel like dirt. So Andy tries to pull a ‘Pretty Woman’ and brings out his gold credit card, but then hears the dress costs £2,500 and starts trying to row back.
Maggie does look lovely in it.
At the Baftas, Andy meets an old flame, they have an awkward conversation, and he then tells Maggie she was the most boring woman on earth. “Was that before or after you lost your virginity to the one who looked like Ronnie Corbett?”
Davina McCall is presenting tonight.
It looks like a long ceremony. We hear the voices of Rob Brydon, David Frost, and David Dimbleby.
The evil Greg turns up to gloat about something.
Richard Briers pays tribute to a recently dead drama producer.
Andy’s agent Darren arrives late, with a prototype of the “Ray” doll someone wants to manufacture for Christmas. But it won’t stop saying Andy’s catchphrase, during Richard Briers’ eulogy.
Briers comes into the audience and kills the doll.
He gets a standing ovation. Oh look, there’s David Frost and Roy Marsden. Was this actually shot at a Bafta awards? That would be quite impressive.
Maggie bumps into Andy’s old girlfriend, and of course she tells her that he thought she was boring.
It’s time for the Best Comedy Performance – then we cut to Andy in the toilet with a Bafta next to him. But then Stephen Fry leans in to pick it up. “Commiserations again, Andy.” “I knew I wouldn’t win. I’m not in it for the awards, well done though.” “Still it’s nice to have recognition from one’s peers.” He then says “Listen, it’s not really my business but have you considered doing something without a laughter track? I think they’re considered old-fashioned if you want to pick up one of these old gongs.” Again, I really can’t imagine Stephen Fry actually saying that. The Star of Blackadder, his own sketch show, QI, I would expect he would understand the value of a studio audience, and wouldn’t refer to it as a ‘Laughter Track’. Also, Andy gets to be homophobic again.
But when Fry leaves, his agent pops his head over the top of a cubicle (a joke only Stephen Merchant could pull off) and Andy discovers Ronnie Corbett doing cocaine.
They get interrogated by the Bafta police. “Where’d you get it? Was it Moira Stuart?” Incidentally, I think the Bafta enforcer is Toby Longworth, who also played the stress doctor in an episode of The IT Crowd.
As if the evening can’t get any worse, Andy’s old girlfriend is on stage as Holby City win an award, and she makes a speech. “I’d just like to say to Andy Millman, right… ..I may be boring… but at least I didn’t lose my virginity when I was 28. To a woman who looks like Ronnie fucking Corbett.”
After the end credits (which has “Tea for the Tillerman” performed by Chris Martin) Andy’s leaving when he sees Moira Stuart being frisked by the police. Best gag in the whole show and she sells it perfectly/
Media Centre Description: Sitcom about a former TV extra who gets his own BBC sitcom. An unprecedented array of stars turn out for Andy Millman’s first BAFTA nomination. Awards, great ratings, and Chris Martin from Coldplay wants to appear in Andy’s sitcom – things are looking up.
The next recording starts with the end of Extras, a look ahead at other programmes tonight, a very brief Torchwood logo flashes up, and the Elvis Radio 2 Advert plays again.
Then, an episode of That Mitchell and Webb Look starting with a good way to deal with a particularly boring person at a dinner party.
Here’s a sketch I think about a lot. The executive who just throws random ideas out when talking to an author. “I mean, what if. I mean not this. Ignore this. What if Henry, although obviously not, if he had sex. I mean, not sex, but sex right at the beginning with Sarah. I mean, not Sarah. But you know” “Henry has sex?” “No, forget the sex. I’m just throwing things out there. I mean, you’re the author, Anthony. You’ve got the talent. You know what you’re doing. I’m just here to help.” This is what I think of whenever I read coverage of the Writers’ strike.
The weird sex scene where he keeps saying “Now we know!”
Jesus is taken to task for his problematic “Good Samaritan” parable which assumes Samaritans are uniformly bad.
Looks like a lot of the guests have displeased the man with the chloroform.
The snooker commentators are delighted with a pocket-based pun.
He’s a doctor working with desperately ill children. He tastes ice cream in an ice cream factory. It feels like there’s a disparity in their working days.
The “Not this but like this” man works with Leonardo daVinci.
David gets some advice from the rest of the cast on his break-up. “You should take a box of her belongings that you still got, round to where she’s living now and burn them in the front garden while doing a sort of dance. And then you should probably write the word ‘bitch’ in weed killer on her lawn.”
The three eccentric billionaires can’t seem to give away their enormous yachts.
Jump off a cliff. £2.
BIG TALK
A hospital is trying out a novel therapy involving hitting the patients with hammers.
Numberwang gets dark, ending with Deathwang.
The brainstorm trying to decide if “Touching Cloth” is a good name for their new dry cleaning business.
Two BBC presenters describe a vase to the television audience.
Robert has prepared a reply to his cousin’s annoying Christmas round robin newsletter. David suggests that it’s not a nice thing do do. “Dear Robert, I’m sorry to have annoyed you with news of my family. I suppose these newsletters are a little impersonal, but I know that a lot of my friends are interested to hear how we’re getting on. And I must admit that around Christmas I don’t really have time to write to everyone individually. I’m sorry to have cut a corner so abhorrent to you, and needless to say, I won’t be wasting your time again in future. PS Little Jane says she loves you.”
Media Centre Description: Comedy sketch show starring David Mitchell and Robert Webb. Includes a pioneering new medical technique called Hammers; how to win your very own massive yacht; and a chance to jump off a cliff for just two quid. With Olivia Colman, James Bachman, Paterson Joseph and Abigail Burdess.
A slight change of pace today with two episodes of a brand new series of Charlie and Lola starting with It is Absolutely Completely Not Messy. It starts with Lola playing with her elephant. “Trump, trump, trump through the forest.”
Charlie and Lola’s mum and dad want them to tidy their room, but Lola thinks it’s tidy enough. Everything is where it’s supposed to be.
Charlie tries to persuade her, reminding her of the time Marv fell on her castle when he slipped on some marbles that had been left on the floor.
Charlie prefers things in the right place.
Lola does try to tidy up, but she gets distracted. I identify very strongly with Lola here.
Charlie moves his bed out of their room.
Lola misses Charlie and that’s enough to make her want to tidy up.
Media Centre Description: Children’s animation. Join Lola and Charlie, a brother and sister, as they deal with topics that affect their everyday lives. Lola just won’t tidy up the bedroom. Try as he might, Charlie simply can’t persuade her that a tidy room is a good thing. In the end, Charlie has to point out that it’s his room too. He is forced to take a desperate measure. Will this encourage Lola to tidy up?
The next episode of Charlie and Lola is I Spy With My Little Eye. Lola has joined MI5 as she’s taken up spying.
She and Soren Lorenson go spying. They see a puddle outside. “What does it mean?” “Or, who has made the puddle?” “I know…an ogre, a big ogre who cries a lot. Cos if an ogre cried, he’d have big tears, then there’d be a big puddle.”
They also find a big shoe. Perhaps that one belongs to an ogre too.
Someone is moving in across the hall. “That’s a very big clock.” “Or a very, very tiny watch for a very, very big ogre.”
Lola is worried that an ogre might be moving in si they investigate. There’s a letter for the new people on the mat (strange postal service they have there) and Lola reads it. It’s addressed to “A Wolf”. A wolf is moving in.
But the more they think about it, the scarier it seems.
So Charlie takes Lola to see. He knocks on the door and introduces himself. “Hello. I’m Charlie and this is my sister, Lola. We live there. Have you just moved in?” “Oh, yes. I’m Arnold, Arnold Wolf.”
Media Centre Description: Children’s animation. Join Lola and Charlie, a brother and sister, as they deal with topics that affect their everyday lives. When Charlie goes out with Marv, Lola decides to play spies with her imaginary friend Soren Lorenson. When the two intrepid detectives spy a removal van outside the flats they are convinced that an ogre will be moving in. Charlie comes home and tries to persuade them that they can’t possibly be right.
The first recording today opens with a trailer for Lead Balloon, and for David Dickinson on Who Do You Think You Are?
Then, the next episode of Spooks. In a change of pace, the MI5 team are working for the Foreign Secretary to try to pass an international trade deal that would benefit Africa, but which the Americans and French have no intention of signing.
Malcolm is in his element with a system called Diaspora that can track everyone in the building via their pagers and phones.
It’s a bit racist that Ros is posing as the summit organiser, Adam is an advisor to the Foreign Secretary, and Zaf is one of the hotel staff.
Harry and Adam discuss news about Ros’ father, one of the conspirators in the opening two-parter. Harry’s appeal for clemency has been turned down, and he’s going to get 20 years. Harry tells Adam not to tell Ros as it will affect her work.
The French delegate is ambushed by a minibus full of young black schoolchildren thanking him for making things better in Africa, in an effort to persuade him to sign the agreement. These are dirty tricks MI5 are playing.
The American delegate meets with the Japanese delegate. They’re discussing an arms deal, but the American delegate asks the Japanese delegate to walk out of the summit tomorrow do the deal won’t be signed.
Ruth is at the hotel too, and there’s various awkward meetings with Harry after she’d told him last week they couldn’t have a relationship.
The team need to find out what’s on the American delegate’s laptop. So Ros, who has already established that she’s a fan of his favourite hockey team, brings along a DVD of one of their famous matches. It won’t work on the DVD player – “Maybe the American DVD isn’t compatible with the British machine.” But the delegate, Traynor Styles, has a US laptop, so they play it on that. He’s played by Colin Stinson, an American actor who, I suspect, lives in the UK, as he turns up in loads of things, including as the skeptic in Ghostwatch.
The DVD is, of course, a trojan horse, installing a program called “Spy-Da” which can download everything off the laptop when it connects to the internet. From this, they learn that Styles is selling arms, through intermediaries, to countries on the border of America’s enemies. Perhaps this information might be enough to force the Americans to sign the treaty.
It’s all looking good for the treaty, until they get intelligence that an assassination attempt might be underway on the most prominent African leader there, Gabriel Sekoa (George Harris). He’s the president of West Monrassa, a fictional country much beloved of spy dramas.
The assassin is a woman, Michelle Lopez, except that’s an alias. She was born Baptiste Kadala in West Monrassa. Her father was a journalist who died in a plane crash. “Hundreds of millions of pounds of government money had been siphoned into Gabriel Sekoa’s personal bank account. My father was about to publish evidence when his plane went down.” But this wasn’t about revenge. “I believe Gabriel Sekoa is going to attempt a genocide. He has gathered the northern population into one city to make the operation simpler and easier. He is planning to kill my people.” “How could Sekoa get away with an operation like that?” “Now he has signed the Havensworth agreement, he is an African hero. He can do what he wants. You people don’t understand countries like mine. Don’t you see what you’ve done? This summit has given him everything he ever wanted. Respect. Recognition. So when in a month’s time when he kills my friends… my family… you won’t lift a finger.”
But they want to see if there’s some connection between the American, Styles, his weapons deal, and President Sekoa. Malcolm’s Diaspora program comes into use, although he’s misspelled “Secretary of State”.
They pose as Styles’ contact in order to get the information, which does confirm that they are selling planes and biological weapons.
Adam confronts Sekoa, and without actually accusing him of anything, lets him know that they know his whole genocidal plan.
Sekoa complains to the British Foreign Secretary, who rebukes Harry and Adam, telling them they have to stay away from Sekoa. The Foreign Secretary doesn’t seem to care that Sekoa might be going to carry out a genocide against his own people. “Do you think this summit is actually going to change Africa? Dream on. That continent is nothing but an economic albatross around our necks, a continent of genocidal maniacs living in the dark ages. Havensworth is about garnering a bit of decent PR, getting ageing rock stars off our back and granting the opportunity to give our prime minister a decent send-off.”
Adam is handed information by a member of Sekoa’s delegation which outlines the military plans for the genocide. They also find the evidence that Baptiste Kadala’s father’s plane was shot down by President Sekoa.
They decide that the only way to prevent the genocide is to release Baptiste Kadala, give her back her gun, and let her finish her job. Which she does, shooting Sekoa as he’s leaving the summit in triumph. Adam grabs her, assuring all the many armed men around that she’s unarmed.
But the Foreign Secretary orders one of his men to shoot her. Adam is rather distraught, having flashbacks to the death of his wife.
The Foreign Secretary is furious with Harry, and tells him there’s going to be a full inquiry, and that his job is likely to go. Until Harry plays him the recording of his diatribe about their attitude to African countries. At which point he tells the team what a good job they’ve all done. This programme doesn’t have a high opinion of politicians, does it?
Ros is upset when she learns about her father’s 20 year sentence.
Adam looks like he’s having an existential crisis. He’s on a bridge, and he phones his son, trying to sound cheerful but choking back tears. “Hello, mate. Er, listen, I’m in the airport and I can’t decide between the big present and the little present.” It seems like his son is the only thing keeping him going.
Media Centre Description: Drama series about the British Security Service. When the United Kingdom hosts the World Trade Summit for Africa, the team are posted undercover, right at the heart of the talks. When they uncover a deadly assassination plot, they fight to quash it. But as the true motivations behind it are revealed, they are forced to make devastating moral choices, risking their very survival in the process.
After this, there’s a trail for Graham Norton’s Bigger Picture. I genuinely can’t remember ever watching this.
There’s another trailer for Robin Hood. And a longer version of that Elvis Radio 2 adverts.
Then the start of the Ten O’Clock News, leading with the murder of three children at an Amish school, plus Huw Edwards at the Conservative Conference.
The other recording today starts with the end of Eastenders. There’s a trail for Dog Borstal.
Then, you probably won’t be surprised to hear, is the next episode of Spooks, getting its BBC Three premiere.
Ruth is asked for change by a man buying a tube ticket. She doesn’t quite have enough, but he takes what she has and buys his ticket and leaves. Ruth hurries after him to give him his change, but when she finds him on the platform, he steps out in front of the approaching train. Later, she tells Harry that something seemed off. Harry makes her some tea, tells her to take the morning off, that it was a horrible accident, but then he talks to the officer in charge of the investigation at the station. “Well, I expect the Home Secretary will want this to be handled discreetly.” “Do we know any more?” “The formal ID hasn’t been done…” “Informally?” “Yes, it’s him.”
Adam’s having nightmares.
Ruth has been digging. The man on the tube was Mik Maudsley, Head of Security for South East Prisons. Who was also at Cotterdam Prison on the night of a fire, the report for which has just been released, and which appears to say the fire was an accident, something both Harry and Ruth clearly doubt. “What would be gained by Special Branch concealing the truth?” “Depends what the truth is.”
Harry attends a Joint Intelligence Committee meeting, chaired by Oliver Mace (Tim McInerney) returning after his appearances in an earlier season. He dismisses Harry’s concerns about a whitewash, and afterwards seems to imply he knows it’s a whitewash, but it’s not worth pursuing.
Seven terrorism suspects died in the fire, and MI5 were concerned with all the potential intelligence that was lost with them. Ros and Zaf have to go in to the prison to try to get information.
Meanwhile, Ruth is still thinking that her contact with Maudsley before he killed himself wasn’t accidental, and he somehow left information with her. But the ten pound note he left her with was clean, according to Malcolm, so she goes to visit a mortuary. I was distracted by this shot of a security camera that has obviously been mirrored to provide the correct orientation in editing. I guess fixing up the labelling was deemed to expensive for a brief shot.
Ruth examines the body and his personal effects. She’s still convinced he was trying to pass information to her.
Ros and Zaf visit the prison, posing as IT inspectors. She fakes an Asthma attack to get the operator out of the office so they can download security files from the day of the fire.
The files reveal that another member of the same terrorist gang who all died in the fire was in the prison on the day of the fire, Zakir Abdul. They think Maudsley was bribed to let him in, so they could kill the prisoners and prevent them being interrogated. But when they find him, he’s already dead.
Ruth is still convinced that Maudsley wanted her to know something. “The way he looked, he wasn’t a guilty man.” Jo sees her and Harry in Harry’s office, and is amused that their relationship seems to be on and off. She wants to know if it’s back on again, just for the goss, so she plants a tracker in Ruth’s coat.
Ros sees Ruth go home, and Harry drive off. But then she sees Ruth move again, and tracks her to Maudsley’s house. Ruth finds a note on his noticeboard which she thinks is significant. Ros and Zaf follow her to see what she’s up to.
When Ruth leaves, they search Maudsley’s house, and Ros finds a gun, the same type which was used to kill Zakir Abdul. Ros is suspicious of Ruth. “But what’s she doing here? At Maudsley’s house? And if this is part of the team’s operation, how come we don’t know anything about it?”
Ruth finds the Fruit & Veg stall, and buys an apple with a ten pound note. In return he gives her a newspaper. Zaf catches up with Ruth and asks what’s going on. She says she’ll tell him when they get back to Thames House.
But when they get there, Oliver Mace is already there, and looking very stern. He starts questioning her. “You were at his house, you went to the mortuary, you were behind him when he committed suicide. None of these events have been logged.” Mace thinks Ruth was working with Maudsley for the terrorist group Acts of Truth, and she went to the house to destroy evidence. (Why she’d leave the gun there is an open question.)
Ruth tells him she thought Maudsley had arranged a drop. And show them the newspaper and envelope she retrieved. But the disc in the envelope is blank. Then Mace produces CCTV footage which supposedly shows Ruth pushing Maudsley onto the track. And he says there are witnesses who saw her do it. So Ruth is marched away.
Adam talks to Ros. “Ros, next time you come to me before you go to anyone else.” “I was just reporting the facts.” “You were striking back at Harry.” “I know you all have this loyalty to Ruth, but she’s pulling the wool over your eyes.”
Harry asks Mace for time. “I’ll give you a day. I’ll have her put under surveillance, one day and then she’ll be arrested. Don’t ask me for more. And no contact. Any contact between you and her and it’s out of my hands.” Tim McInerney is rather hard to read. He’s so obviously cast as the villain that I can’t help thinking he’s not at all. And my memory is so bad that even though I’ve watched this episode I can’t remember what happened.
The team meet covertly. Even Ros, who now thinks Ruth is being set up. They now think Ruth was right about the drop so they have to work out where and what it was.
Ros and Ruth switch, so the police watching her house will still think she’s there.
Adam meets Ruth, and gets intel from the Russian embassy, showing the seven terrorists being removed from Cotterdam prison two hours before the fire.
Mace invites Harry to lunch to talk. “Now you may doubt our methods, but see if this persuades you. The planned attack from Acts of Truth? A major sports stadium. Several devices capable of inflicting mass murder. What, would you have preferred that we never found out? Two-thousand-odd lives, for a little discomfort?” Incidentally, the lines describing the terror plot are dubbed, so I’m thinking the script originally says something else. Possibly something that, as the broadcast approached, was too close to some recent news story. Harry has a choice. “Save Ruth, and join a club.” But Harry would have to condone torture.
Ruth and Adam scope out Maudsley’s house, now swarming with police. She spots a picture of Offa high up, outside a window. “He was King of Mercia in the 8th century. I wrote a thesis on him and the site of his palace, now known as Wood Street. That’s the drop Maudsley left for me.” They go to the church, and Ruth finds some microfilm. I love microfilm, it’s so old-school. Much more interesting than a USB stick.
Adam has a microfiche reader in his car, which is handy. The document is minutes from a meeting about extraditing an torturing the Cotterdam Seven. And Ruth finds someone from MI5 there – codename FOX.
Ros is contacted, and leaves the house, whereupon she’s arrested, with the police thinking she’s Ruth. Mace gets the news. Harry is still not biting. “What if I play neither strategy? What if I say Ruth did push Maudsley, but I asked her to do it? What if the rogue officer is me?” “It doesn’t add up.” “Doesn’t it? Ruth would get a slapped wrist, but that’s all because she was only following orders. But me? A rogue agent at my grade? Wait till the press hear.” He wants the police called, so he smashes a glass and slashes Mace’s arm. Suddenly, the ‘security’ aspect of both of them not wearing jackets is revealed to be a production choice so you can easily sea that Mace’s arm is bleeding. Clever.
Harry’s arrested. Adam goes to see him, telling him that they’ve got the document about the extradition, but there’s an MI5 name on the list, which will implicate Harry. Harry insists they have to expose the documents. And Harry’s also being arrested for murder.
Ruth wants them to implicate her as Fox so she can take the rap. I love that they are both trying to protect the other. “Harry goes. What happens to MI5? This is only Round One in an ongoing battle. He has to keep fighting. The authorities in this country cannot be allowed to intimidate and torture. Harry is the only one who can take it on. There’s no choice. If I can save him, then I will.”
Zaf photoshops a meeting between Ruth and Mace.
The last part of the story is a dramatic one. Ruth has to threaten a witness who says she saw Ruth pushing Maudsley. Zaf says “You were brilliant.” She replies “Lady Macbeth. Sixth Form play.”
Adam visits Harry, having provided the authorities proof of Ruth’s involvement in the torture plan. Harry is released. Then Adam visits Mace with the news that the defence secretary is resigning, and the Prime Minister is placing all the blame on Mace.
Harry gets a call that they’ve found Ruth. “Dragged from the Thames this morning.” He has to identify the body. He almost breaks down as he sees the body. But he collects himself and walks out with Adam. “So, where is she?”
And at least they get to say goodbye before Ruth leaves on a boat.
Media Centre Description: Drama series about the British Security Service. The government releases its report on the Cotterdam Seven – terror suspects killed in an accidental prison fire. Harry senses a whitewash but doesn’t realise until too late that the conspirators have taken the precaution of framing a member of his own team.
There’s a trailer for Grime Scene Investigations and The Indestructibles. Then there’s a 60 Seconds bulletin. And despite my lack of interest in football, I have to mention an appearance from Watford in a 3-3 draw, otherwise my sisters would never forgive me.
Then there’s the start of an episode of Little Miss Jocelyn.
The first recording today starts with a trailer for Robin Hood.
Then, another episode of Extras. We get to see the title sequence for When The Whistle Blows.
Andy watches the show, still in his costume. Which implies that the show is going out while they’re still recording future episodes. This is fairly unlikely, and even less likely for a show that started with an actual pilot episode.
He’s offered a small part in a fantasy movie. One of his co-stars is Warwick Davis, with whom Gervais and Merchant would later go on to make Life’s Too Short.
Daniel Radcliffe is the star of the film, and his schtick is that he hits on all the women on set (including Maggie).
On the catering bus, Radcliffe sits with Maggie and Andy, and when Maggie goes to get some coffee and tea, he asks Andy for a favour. “Look, when she comes back, right, make some excuse and leave us alone, will you.” “What you got planned?” Radcliffe takes out a condom from his poclet. “You, you’ve unravelled it.” “Ready for action. Just hope it’s big enough.” Then he pings it and it vanishes over his shoulder.
This is a funny gag, but immediately trumped as he turns round to ask “Em, can I have my johnny back?” to Dame Diana Rigg.
Maggie gets Andy in trouble again, talking to Warwick Davis’ fiancée. “Andy was just saying that if you didn’t mind someone who’s a little bit taller, then he’s up for it.”
Andy takes Maggie to a nice restaurant, but gets annoyed about a young boy playing a handheld video game and making noise at a nearby table. He really is a miserable sod. He complains to the waitress, and as he’s complaining, Maggie sees the boy turn round, and he’s got Downs Syndrome, but she doesn’t manage to stop Andy complaining, and the boy’s mother comes over and has a go at Andy.
Next morning, he’s doorstepped by a reporter.
“Barry” reads the report. “£200 for a meal for two! How the other half live.”
There’s then a montage of TV coverage of the story, starting with Matthew Wright in The Wright Stuff
Nick Ferrari on LBC, and we can hear the story mutating in real time.
Fern Britton and Philip Schofield (!). “Coming up today: what made rising star Andy Millman punch a defenceless Down’s syndrome child and his elderly, wheel-chair bound mother in the face?”
As damage control, Andy’s agent Darren appears on Richard and Judy, and naturally makes things even worse, throwing the word “Mongoloid” around willy nilly. I do like Richard Madeley here. When Darren says “If you had a bunch of people lined up and you know, one of them was a mongoloid and they had their backs to you, I defy anyone to be able to tell which one it was” Madeley replies “I think I could.” “I don’t think you could.” “No, I’m sorry I think I could, um, look… Can we try and sort that out for tomorrow?”
At least Darren gets in a plug for “Barry’s” new CD of songs from the shows.
Andy has to try to rescue the situation, by buying the young boy an XBox. Darren still manages to screw up more, by announcing that Andy’s fee from the movie he’s making will be donated to a charity of their choice.
Back on the film set, Daniel Radcliffe is now hitting on Warwick’s fiancée, and Warwick isn’t happy about it.
Andy tries to mediate, but Warwick also knows that Andy was talking about his fiancée too, and starts attacking him. Andy doesn’t know how to handle it, and ends up kneeing him in the face and knocking him down.
“Have you still got that catsuit from The Avengers?” “Go away, Daniel.”
More bad headlines. And since he’s been fired from the film, he has to make his donation from his fee for the sitcom.
Media Centre Description: Sitcom about a former TV extra who gets his own show. Andy Millman learns that you shouldn’t get on the wrong side of the British press. He needs a reliable and experienced PR guru to save his career. Enter Darren Lamb, his agent.
After this, there’s a look forward to the That Mitchell and Webb Look and Mock The Week, then a very well done advert for Radio Two.
Then the recording ends with the start of That Mitchell and Webb Look.
But worry not, because I also have a recording of that episode. Starting with the angry police detective who has to phone back and apologise after shouting at a colleague.
The estate agent showing a couple around a property.
A very long sketch starting with comedy duo Fish and Chip. Barry Chip has a bombshell for his partner. “I want to leave the act. The truth is, I’ve been talking to Roger Pin of Pin and Cushion. He and John Cushion haven’t been getting on very well for a couple of years now, and well, there’s no easy way of saying this, but me and Roger Pin, we want to form our own act.” “Pin and Chip?” “Chip and Pin. It’s a new way of making credit and debit card transactions more secure, and it’s going to be massive.”
But the ironic twist is that their abandoned partners team up as “Fish and Cushion” and are a huge hit.
They even get the advertising gig for the introduction of Chip and Pin machines.
The Judgemental Priest
The Snooker commentators have been doing a bit of home brewing.
More Numberwang, with some variations.
And an appearance by Gyles Brandreth
The Green Clarinet, which makes people reveal unpleasant truths about themselves.
When it’s used for evil, it’s finally beaten by the red tuba.
The early days of Television. “I’m just being told in my earpiece, which you just might be able to make out…”
A sketch about inviting the Scooby Doo gang for dinner.
The All Party Committee to Combat Footling Social Misunderstandings.
The first appearance of Sir Digby Chicken Caesar
Media Centre Description: Comedy sketch show starring David Mitchell and Robert Webb. Includes a new government initiative to simplify asking for a chair in a pub; a clip from the first TV broadcast in history; and a green clarinet that makes you reveal embarrassing truths. With Olivia Colman, James Bachman, Paterson Joseph and Abigail Burdess.
Recorded from BBC TWO on Thursday 28 September 2006 21:28
First today, episode 2 of series 2 of Extras, and I’ve missed the start of the programme (so it’s lucky it’s on iPlayer) but as it turns out it’s only the first minute or so. It’s the first episode, going out on TV (so I guess it was picked up). What little we see of the plot involves two Japanese business people visiting the factory, and two of the staff give the most inappropriate entertainment possible. I know this is supposed to be a lowest common denominator thing (and it might be my biases showing, but it gives off a strong Mrs Brown’s Boys vibe) but I really don’t get Gervais’ disdain for the studio sitcom form. But then, there’s quite a few instincts he has that I don’t entirely trust. Like the funny ironic racism in this scene.
And the end credits look like the same typeface as Dad’s Army, which doesn’t necessarily help his premise.
The reviews are in and they’re all terrible. “Best one was The Telegraph.” “What did they say?” “They didn’t review it.”
He’s recognised, though, by a homeless man, then has to give him £20 so he won’t look like he hates the homeless.
A woman is moving into his flats, so he gets Maggie to ask him for his autograph while he’s chatting to her. This doesn’t go well either.
Andy and Maggie go to the pub, and he encounters some actual fans of the show. Naturally this is a chore for him. He’s a man that doesn’t deserve fame, basically.
They decamp from the pub to a showbiz club that “Barry” used to go to when he was in Eastenders. Andy is recognised, and they go into the VIP area.
But minutes later, David Bowie arrives, and they’re asked to leave so he can sit there. Much to the delight of Andy’s nemesis Greg (Shaun Pye). “Doing Chekhov at the Wyndham, just been nominated for an Olivier award, so..” and he even carries around a terrible review of Andy’s sitcom.
Darren and Shaun try to chat up two girls – one of whom is played by Katy Wix.
Andy bribes his way back into the VIP area, and gets to talk to David Bowie. He tells him about the sitcom, and how it’s been watered down. “I mean it’s not exactly how I meant it to be because the BBC have interfered and sort of chased ratings and made it lowest common denominator sort of comedy, sort of catchphrases and wigs and I think I’ve sold out to be honest but…”
Then Bowie starts improvising a song about Andy.
# Pathetic little fat man
# No-one’s bloody laughing
# The clown that no one laughs at
# They all just wish he’d die
# He’s so depressed at being useless
# The fat man takes his own life… #
No, no.
# He’s so depressed at being hated
# Fatty takes his own life… #
Fatty, fatso?
Fatso. I like fatso.
Yeah, let’s go with fatso.
# Fatso takes his own life
# He blows his bloated face off… #
No.
# He blows his stupid brains out… #
Whilst this is genuinely funny, I do find it hard to maintain my suspension of disbelief at the idea that David Bowie would be even remotely this horrible to someone he’s just met. I know the stars love playing evil versions of themselves, but this really stretches credulity. I mean, it’s David Bowie for goodness sake.
So Andy retreats back to the pub, where he gets a far warmer reception. It’s all very tragic.
Media Centre Description: Sitcom about a former TV extra who gets his own show. David Bowie sums up Andy as a little fat man who sold his soul, as Andy discovers that fame is not everything he thought it would be.
There’s a trailer for That Mitchell and Webb Look, a very brief teaser of Robin Hood, and a trail for Mock The Week.
Then, the start of That Mitchell and Webb Look.
However, I did also record the whole of That Mitchell and Webb Look and it’s the second recording today.
There’s a look at daytime viewing. Coverage of People Buying A House And Then Living In It.
The evil mastermind’s henchman complains about the ambiguities of his murder orders.
Numberwang
The two British actors who have a certain amount of animus.
“Can people levitate?”
“Hello and welcome to another edition of Coverage Of People Who Are Ill In Hospital Receiving Treatment.”
The bad couterfeiters.
The snooker commentators are quite taken with one of the players. “At the end of the day, it’s good for the game for a gifted young player such as Chris… A gifted young, tall, blonde player such as Chris. He is all those things. I don’t think it’s going too far in these days of PC for me to call another man sexy. And Chris Leicester is that man.”
“Welcome to Coverage Of People Running A Safari Park.”
The man who can move biscuits with his mind.
The men playing fetch in the park.
The man who played Captain Pugwash, and his boyfriend who played King Rollo. (The subtitles on the iPlayer version of this spells it “King Rolo”)
A discussion of the derivation of the suffix “gate” for scandals.
The man who loves Heroin. Edna Dore plays his nan who gives him cocaine instead.
Kids Rapids Rides.
Media Centre Description: Comedy sketch show starring David Mitchell and Robert Webb. Includes an evil henchman’s plea for clearer wording in death threats, a clip from new daytime TV show Coverage of People Buying a House and then Living in it, and a man who can move biscuits with his mind. The snooker commentators are back, and they’ve rather taken a shine to one of the younger players. With Olivia Colman, James Bachman, Paterson Joseph and Abigail Burdess.
After this, another Mock the Week trailer, an Eastenders trail, and one for I’m With Stupid.
The continuity announcer says “Donald Trump sniffing out The Apprentice USA at 11:50. Now BBC Two is taking the pieces out of the news, too.” I do hope nothing bad happens to Donald Trump because he’s appeared on the blog.
Then, the start of Mock The Week, featuring Andy Parsons
Ed Byrne
Jo Brand
Hugh Dennis
Robin Ince
And Frankie Boyle
Hosted, of course, by Dara O’Briain. They all look so young.
Today’s recording starts with the end of an episode of Eastenders. There’s also a trailer for The Real Hustle.
Then, already, it’s episode 3 of Spooks. Zaf is deep undercover in an al-Qaeda cell, who may soon get hold of a thermobaric bomb on the black market – unless MI5 can buy it first.
Ros has started work, and she’s very snippy. I remember her being very annoying at the start of her run. I hope it doesn’t last too long.
Harry asks Ruth out for dinner.
The team want to try and turn one of the al-Qaeda gang – Michael, now Mustafa, who is a recent convert while in prison.
They approach his ex-girlfriend, Leigh, and get her to wear a wire and make contact with Michael again.
Adam and Jo (this is the first time I’ve noticed their names) meet with the arms dealer who’s selling the thermobaric bomb, Iain Kallis, played by Larry Lamb with a South African accent that immediately makes him 15% more villainous. He clearly takes more than an interest in Jo particularly.
Leigh is quite successful making contact with Michael, but when Ros tells her that the intention is for Michael to work for the security services, she looks uncertain.
Kallis, to no surprise whatsoever, is a vicious abuser. And when Adam and Ros come to Jo’s rescue, they take him in, but he’s already sold the bomb to two Saudis.
The cell get news that the operation is happening. But Leigh turns up, worried that Michael is in danger. The other member, Samir, realises that Leigh knows about them, and stabs her.
Michael kills Samir, and Zaf persuades him to help him stop the bomb attack. The plan is to drive a van with the bomb into the City of London, leave it there while they get out of range, and the bomb will detonate. But then Ruth intercepts a call, saying the bomb will be remote detonated when it arrives, and Zaf and Michael will blow up with it. Cue lots of tension as Adam is racing through London streets trying to get there in time, and Malcolm and Ruth are tracking the van and the detonator. I would take issue with the idea that the detonator is an infra-red signal. That’s very unlikely to work at any distance, especially with the bomb having been packed into a wooden crate.
Adam has to give a shoot to kill order on the man with the detonator, which he wrestles with.
Ruth tells Harry they can’t go out any more. She thinks people in the office are laughing at them. “I can’t be talked about like that. I just… I can’t stand it. Sorry.”
Ros tells Jo that she shouldn’t mention that she let Leigh go to Michael’s flat, against orders. Ros is definitely being written as a bad-un right now.
Media Centre Description: Drama series about the British Security Service. Zaf goes deep undercover, risking his life to infiltrate an Al Qaeda cell who are on the brink of a crippling attack. But as Adam desperately tries to prevent the bomb reaching its target, events spiral out of control.
After this, a trail for Say No to the Knife, news in 60 Seconds, and a trail for The Real Hustle.
Then there’s a few minutes of Little Miss Jocelyn. I’ve seen this trailed, but hadn’t seen much of the show. I think the title sequence is a bit full-on with its body horror, but I liked the way they mess around with the BBC Three intro.
We have two recordings today. The first starts with the end of Blackbeard.
There’s a trailer for Spooks, one for the next episode of Extras and a trailer for Jane Eyre. There’s also a very brief teaser for Robin Hood.
Then, episode one of series 5 of Spooks. I had to go back to the end of the previous episode (they’re all on iPlayer currently) to see how that one ended, as the opening of this has some ‘Previously’ – unsurprising since this show loved to end a series on a huge cliffhanger. This time, it was rogue spy Angela Wells (Lindsay Duncan) shooting Adam (Rupert Penry Jones) from a rooftop with a sniper rifle, and taking aim at Harry (Peter Firth).
The cliffhanger is resolved swiftly, as Angela Wells doesn’t shoot Harry, but instead she stands on the roof, shouts “Djakarta is Coming” (spelled as Jakarta in the subtitles, even though the ‘Djakarta’ spelling is on screen as graffiti during this montage) and jumps off the roof. Then we get a montage of Adam’s recovery, and lots of television news saying things like “is Britain now becoming totally ungovernable?” and talking about pushing through new anti-terrorism laws. Major fuel depots are under attack. There’s a very brief shot here that might possibly be the Buncefield Oil Depot that caught fire in Hemel Hempstead. I like the idea that a little bit of Spooks happened here, but I can’t be sure it’s definitely Buncefield, so it’s probably wishful thinking.
I’ve probably mentioned before, looking at a previous episode, how much I liked the MI-5 headquarters, Thames House, being the Masonic Lodge in London, which I used to cycle past when going to work at The Digital Village in Covent Garden.
Four weeks after he was shot, Adam is back at work, and the big threat is all the terrorist attacks, plus the Prime Minister’s son Rowan has been sent a threat at university. Harry thinks it’s Al Qaeda, but Adam thinks it seems like something different, although he can’t say what.
Elsewhere, a man on a bus starts coughing up blood. Having been a long-time viewer of Terry Nation’s Survivors, the implications of this would have been clear at the time, but today it’s even more ominous, given we’ve now all lived through something similar (are are still living through it). Just like Stephen Gallagher’s Eleventh Hour, this seems far scarier now. Especially when the next scene is of a hospital that’s turning emergency cases away. “There’s no petrol, the supermarkets are running out of food, we’re being attacked by terrorists. Where’s the Prime Minister? He’s on bloody holiday, probably!” Apart from the terrorists, this could have been early 2020.
Not a bad fake front page. Except for the misspelling of “Procedures” in the red strapline at the top. Graphic Artists really need to spellcheck their work.
Anna Chancellor is grilling Harry on what he’s doing about all these threats, now biological warfare is seemingly in play.
Harry goes to see Paul Millington (Roger Allam) who’s a media mogul who owns newspapers and a TV channel. To ask him why he’s whipping up public alarm which can only be dangerous. “You know that only three people have developed this bloody-eye syndrome?” “So far.” “And yet hundreds will die, because the panic is putting such pressure on health resources.” This is almost prophetic.
MI-5 and MI-6 have to cooperate, so a contingent from MI-6 come along, including Ros Myers – the first appearance of Hermione Norris.
Head of MI-6 Michael Collingwood (Nicholas Wood) is there, making annoyed noises that the government hasn’t passed an anti-terrorism bill that would give them much greater powers.
Robert Glenister plays the Home Secretary, who bristles at Collingwood’s lack of respect for a government minister. He says that the Prime Minister’s special adviser is working with more moderate opponents to pass a modified bill.
This adviser is seen as a ‘voice of reason’ within government. So the next scene sees two men approach him in a wood, and kill him.
The news is reporting it was suicide, after suggestions that child porn was found on his computer. Rowan, the Prime Minister’s son, doesn’t believe it. He’s in his hall of residence at university, and Jo (Miranda Raison) is there posing as a student to act as undercover protection.
Harry thinks that it’s not external terrorists, but internal, and suspects Collingwood and MI-6 of organising the threats to somehow reshape UK government. Adam has to get close to Ros, as she might know more, and if they break the ice, he might learn something.
Harry has unearthed a recording of a speech made by Collingwood in which he says “There are circumstances when a country reaches a critical breakdown point. This point is approached when the economy is screaming and centre ground is disappearing, and in concrete terms, when there is a significant external threat which requires more energetic response from security services. Now, how serious does this need to be? Well, we believe that three major terror attacks by the IRA would provoke such a breakdown and require a different kind of government, at least temporarily.” But what’s more interesting to me is that this scene looks like it was filmed at Gaddesden Place, the country house where I used to work for Computer Concepts in the 80s and 90s. So I was saying earlier that using the Buncefield fire linked the episode to Hemel Hempstead, and now here’s a whole scene shot there. These little things please me.
Adam takes Ros to dinner and they chat politely. Adam says “I tell you what concerns us – the way the gas companies hiked the prices after the attack on the pipeline.” I wish these almost twenty year old dramas wouldn’t keep using plot points from today. It’s almost as if history is a series of echoes. The subject of her father comes up. “Sir Jocelyn Myers. Yes, ex-Ambassador to Russia. Yes, on the board of GAS-STREAM” When Adam has to step away to answer a phone call from Harry, Ros takes the opportunity to take the glass he had been using.
Backroom tech expert Colin is out on a field assignment, hacking into MI-6 systems, where he discovers they’re looking at air traffic control data. “They’re focusing on two flights in particular, simulating taking them off their normal flight path. It’s a dress rehearsal for crashing two passenger planes into each other over London.”
I don’t quite understand why Colin had to hack in from the back of a Ford Transit, and on his own, and that proves his undoing, as he’s visited by two heavy-set men who take him for a drive, then stop in the middle of a forest. Colin tries to run, but he’s not a man of action, and his fate is sealed. This programme can be so cruel.
The team are devastated. Malcolm in particular is angry at the death of his best friend, and wanting to strike back at their enemies. Adam has to calm him down. “We have to carry on as if the hanging was a suicide, which the police report will inevitably say it was. They’ll know we know, but we’ll smile at them. And we’ll carry on smiling at them. And if you can’t deal with that, then you’re no good to me. So smile.” “I can’t.” “Smile.” “Would you have smiled at your wife’s killers?” “Yes. I would have smiled at Fiona’s killers, if it had been necessary.” “Yes, I believe you would.”
Their meeting is interrupted by a knock on the door. It’s Jenny, who’s there to interview to be a nanny for Adam’s son. She’s played by Gugu Mbatha-Raw, and either she’s a plant from MI-6 or she’ll be put into mortal danger at some point.
At Rowan’s rooms, Jo is woken by an alarm – which had been designed by Colin, as we learned in the previous scene – warning her that someone’s breaking in to the rooms. They grab Rowan, but underestimate Jo, who takes out one of them, then brains another with a fire extinguisher. There’s a chase, before she and Rowan get away in her car, and she has to come clean that she’s in the security services.
Ros phones Adam, and he invites her over to his house for dinner. When he goes and checks on his son, she grabs his laptop, and uses the fingerprint she took from his glass earlier to break into his laptop, and get the locations of agents. Then, when Adam comes down, they start to smooch a bit, but Adam hesitates because she’s wearing the same perfume that his wife used to wear, so Ros takes a hint and leaves.
We see a dark car driving through the countryside and approaching a remote house. The camera keeps cutting between the car, and the burly looking men who are in it, and Jo and Rowan, sleeping on the floor in the safe house. The men get into the house silently, approach the room where they are sleeping, but it’s a completely different house, and Adam, Zaf and their team are there to take the hitmen in. I found this extremely satisfying, even if I did guess the fake-out as I recognised it from Silence of the Lambs.
At the next big joint security services meeting, Harry accuses Collingwood of sending the threat to Rowan, and of killing Colin and plotting to supplant the government. Naturally, he blusters, and walks out. Media baron Millington gets a phone call from him, then calls someone to check if they’re still on for the coup d’etat.
Zaf finds a clue in the hitmen’s car – a staff pass to an air traffic control centre. The theory now is that they are going to crash two planes into each other over London.
Harry, Adam, Juliet Shaw and the Home Secretary have a top secret meeting with Collingwood, where the identity of the head of the plot is revealed. It’s Jocelyn Myers, Ros’s father, who wants to engineer the circumstances so that the whole form of government and national security can change to have way more powers. “Britain needs a new kind of leadership. Sea levels are rising, oil’s running out, terrorists are going nuclear. Do you think this current system is capable of dealing with that?” Also, “I wonder why we fetishise democracy so much. It’s a system that’s a blink in the eye of history.” He’s a textbook ‘man making deals in smoky back rooms’ type. Or a tory, as we usually call them. “let me give you an ultimatum. The Prime Minister has a week to accept new terms of government, which will be delivered shortly. During the time we’ve given you to consider your ever-weakening position, I give you my word there will be no further incidents, and I expect the same consideration from you.”
As they leave, Ros speaks to Adam. “I knew nothing about the murder of your officer. You have to believe that.” “I don’t have to believe a single word you tell me.” But when Adam’s gone, the conspirators start talking about their actual plans. Ros is horrified that they’ve just lied to them about not taking any action. “You’ve let Adam Carter outwit you once already, Rosalind.” “Outwit me? That seduction routine was a stupid and amateur plan that underestimated the target and I warned you was likely to backfire. You overruled me. I got you what you wanted. Don’t blame me if they set a trap for you.”
She’s definitely having second thoughts about the plot, as Adam receives a message from her telling him to get out of the cars.
Adam calls Juliet and the Home Secretary, and tells them to get out of the car immediately, which they do, but not quite in enough time, as the car explodes, hurling a door straight into her back. Brutal.
And in the air, two planes have already been set on a collision course.
Media Centre Description: Drama series about the British Security Service. The team are pushed to the limit as the country is plunged into chaos by a series of terrorist attacks. With the Prime Minister’s position looking increasingly precarious and draconian emergency measures curtailing public freedoms, MI5 face the horrifying possibility that the country is under siege from sinister forces right at the heart of the establishment.
Recorded from BBC ONE on Sunday 17 September 2006 20:58
After this, there’s a trail for the BBC Three premiere of the next episode in 25 minutes. There’s a trailer for I’m With Stupid and Ancient Rome
There’s also a trailer for Magnolia – not the PT Anderson film, but a comedy drama. I spotted Ralph Ineson and Mark Benton in the cast.
Then there’s the start of the BBC News, leading with demonstrations across the world demanding an end to the fighting in Darfur.
Luckily, we don’t have to wait for the next episode, as I also recorded the next episode from its BBC Three showing.
The recording starts with the end of I’m with Stupid.
There’s a trailer for Say No to the Knife.
Then, episode two of Spooks. Zaf gets into the air traffic control centre, and finds Jensen, but Jensen plays the race card. He calls security. “Listen, guys, I don’t want to sound racist, but which one of us looks more likely to be a terrorist?” But when he dismisses the guards, Zaf is able to take him on, and there’s a big fight. Zaf is able to persuade the centre to transfer control to another facility, the two planes are spotted, and the collision is avoided.
The conspiracy continues, now involving the Cabinet Secretary, as weaselly as we have come to expect Cabinet Secretaries to be. “When the time comes, the PM has to sign my executive orders. He’s utterly exhausted. We’re offering a solution that guarantees his family’s safety, resolves the conflict in the country and allows him to stay in power.”
But hope might come from the unlikeliest of sources. It’s not YouTube (very new at the time this was broadcast) but a number of people are warning of the destruction of democracy. “Yes, this is a conspiracy theory, because there is a conspiracy taking place.”
The conspirators aren’t waiting for the laws to be changed. They have Harry arrested and taken to a detention centre.
Rowan is rather confused by Jo turning out to be a spy, and if I’m reading it correctly, was probably hoping she fancied him, so he runs off with the car, and she has to catch up with him. She needs to persuade him to contact his father.
Harry isn’t alone in his detention. Civil Liberties campaigner Ruby MacKenzie is brought in to share his cell. When she demands to know the name of the hard man who brought her in (the same man who was fighting with Zaf) he punches her in the face. At least this show isn’t really giving the bad guys much nuance.
Ruth gets a tip off that someone from one of Millington’s newspapers has evidence that he knew about the plane collision before it was supposed to happen, and she sends Adam off to retrieve it from a locker in a sports centre. But the bad guys are after it too, and get there before Adam can. But the locker is empty.
The conspirators are meeting again, and look, they’re in Gaddesden Place again. I’m guessing this scene was shot at the same time as the footage from the first episode. They’re looking at a major public protest against the new measures. “What if the protest remains peaceful?” “We have a certain expertise in provoking conflicts between protesters and police.”
Meanwhile at Thames House, Adam Zaf and Ruth are also thinking about the protests, and how to get more people marching. “We’re not often moved by principles like liberty and fraternity, but we can be moved to shame, pity and generosity, and we love an underdog. Get me an underdog.” So Zaf goes out and films while a young protester is beaten up and bundled into a van by some bad guys. But when the van gets back, the protester turns out to be MI-5.
Jo and Rowan meet the car that is supposed to take Rowan to see his father. But after a brief conversation with the driver, Jo pepper sprays him and drives the car away. “How did you know?!” “He gave the wrong answer about the weather.”
Jo gets Rowan to the democracy march, and he makes a live TV plea to his father to hold off on signing the special measures.
Adam gets a call to meet Ros. They meet, but Adam has brought friends, and Ros is taken back to Thames House where he, Ruth and Malcolm lay out the whole conspiracy, mostly concentrating on her father’s unsavoury connections with the Russian mafia, and pictures of him at sex parties.
There’s good use of split screen to ramp up the tension as Jo and Rowan are being funnelled down narrow streets by riot police. Added to us knowing that the conspirators are briefing the police to expect terrorist activity, this is getting very tense.
Ros confronts her father with all the claims that Ruth and Adam showed her. He denies there was anything wrong.
Someone shoots smoke bombs into the square where Jo and Rowan and a group of protestors have been surrounded by police. Things could kick off.
Getting nowhere with her father, Ros plays her ace in the hole. The evidence from the locker that Adam was looking for earlier. It’s a mockup of a newspaper front page from Millington’s newspaper, which proves he knew about the plot to collide the planes. They ask them to call off the police before they start shooting unarmed protesters. Ros appeals to her father. “Do you remember when I was a child, you said I was scared of everything? Well, I was never scared when you were around, but now… you absolutely terrify me.” This seems to do the trick.
Collingwood is not going quietly. He goes to the detention centre with his hardman, and starts pouring petrol everywhere.
Adam and Zaf rush there, encountering the hardman as he’s leaving. They square up for a fight, but Zaf has come prepared this time. I’m not a violent man, but there’s a certain satisfaction seeing such a clear villain get his just desserts.
At the protest, the police haven’t all been called off in time, and one of them shoots a young protester. But rather than starting a full on riot, a young woman stands up to the armed police. “Go on, then! Shoot me!”
Collingwood is going to blaze his glory, facing off against Adam.
But as he tosses the lighter, Zaf runs in and pulls the fire alarm, setting off the sprinklers. Again, I did find it satisfying when Adam punches Collingwood in the face.
Harry now gets to be the one on the outside of the cell. Collingwood asks a favour. “Your men, they’ll be… coming to remove my belt.” “Is that what you want?” “Yes, leave me… leave me some dignity, let me…let me keep it.” Harry agrees and leaves. Collingwood hangs himself with his belt in a scene that I wonder whether it would be shot this way now, since it’s basically a tutorial on how to hang yourself with your belt.
Adam offers Ros a place on his team.
Harry and Juliet discuss what’s going to happen with the other conspirators. She wants Myers prosecuted for something, after he crippled her with the exploding car. Ruth arrives outside the room, and Juliet asks Harry if he’s in love with her. “Well, Ruth has many wonderful qualities.” “Mmm, that’s not what I asked you.” “It’s the only answer you’re getting.” “She’s in love with you.” “Is that so? Well, that’s one to ponder.” “Don’t let this opportunity pass you by, Harry.”
Malcolm asks Harry if he would read something at Colin’s memorial service. “Anything in particular?” “His favourite book was Hitchhiker’s Guide To The Galaxy. That wouldn’t really be appropriate.” I must admit, I teared up at this bit.
And finally, Adam has some family time with his young son. It’s still all about the hugs.
It’s been a while since I last did a watchthrough of this show, so I can’t really remember too much about the plot twists and turns, so rewatching it has been a lot of fun. I still love it, and I think it still holds up perfectly well.
Media Centre Description: Drama series about the British Security Service. With their attempt on the Home Secretary’s life foiled, the coup plotters decide it’s time to up the stakes in their battle with MI5. They use their new powers to throw Harry into jail, making it clear that his execution is only a matter of time. With the Prime Minister’s son still on the run with Jo, and a huge public demonstration imminent, will the team be able to destroy the plotters in time to save Harry?
After this there’s trailers for I’m With Stupid, Say No to the Knife and a quick burst of news with 60 Seconds. Then there’s the start of The Real Hustle.
We’ve skipped a week. This recording starts with the end of Dragon’s Den. There’s a trailer for football, and one for the final of How Do You Solve a Problem Like Maria? as well as a trail for That Mitchell and Webb Look.
Then the first episode of the new series of Extras. The big star of this episode is Orlando Bloom.
But his co-star in this production is Sophia Myles, last seen here as Madame de Pompadour in Doctor Who.
Maggie sees Orlando signing autographs, and taking selfies (digital cameras, not phones, in those days) and rolls her eyes. He spots her, and wonders why she’s not in awe of his beauty, starting a gag that runs through the whole episode.
Andy’s agent Darren is still trying to persuade Andy to cast Shaun Williamson as the lead in the sitcom.
Maggie bumps into a friend from previous jobs, who’s now getting acting work, and who proceeds to patronise her about her life.
There’s been a late casting change on Andy’s sitcom. “Paul Shane’s dropped out.” “Why?” “He was worried it was a little bit too broad.” “Paul Shane thinks this is too broad?” So their replacement casting is Keith Chegwin. His rehearsal scene is very funny, as he doesn’t seem to understand the idea of acting, playing someone who isn’t himself. “Would you rather be called Keith in this?” “It would help.” “OK, we’re changing Keith’s character name from Alfie to Keith.” Even worse, chatting to Andy during a break, he comes out with the most revolting racism and homophobia imaginable. I have the feeling that this wouldn’t have had the same effect on Cheggers’ career that Les Dennis enjoyed with his appearance in the last series.
Orlando Bloom is still trying to persuade Maggie on his innate beauty. “Just “Top Five Sexiest Film Stars.” For God’s sake.” “Are you in it?” “Number one.”
During a costume fitting. Chegwin makes a comment about black people not being funny. Andy reels off a list of funny US comedians, and Chegwin says he should name a funny black British comedian. Andy struggles despite looking straight at a picture of Lenny Henry. I’m not sure quite what point Gervais is trying to make here. Maybe he didn’t get invited to present Comic Relief one year.
Maggie’s patronising friend tries to set her up with a much older electrician. But Maggie accidentally has the last laugh, when Orlando turns up demanding Maggie kiss him, which he is sure will convince her he’s irresistible.
Andy meets Shaun taking sandwiches from the craft services table, who tells him about why he left Eastenders. “My character on EastEnders, he started out as an interesting three-dimensional person but then over the years the writers turned him into a joke and that’s why I walked away. It wasn’t what I wanted to do. And I know some people look at me now and say I was a fool but I know that I walked away with my integrity and my pride intact.”
Andy plucks up the courage to confront Iain, head of new comedy, and Damon, who is acting here more like a producer than a script editor, and tell them he doesn’t want to play the sitcom in the way they’ve pushed it. “I don’t want to be famous for the sake of it. I want to do something that I’m proud of. And I won’t be proud of shouting out catchphrases in a stupid wig and funny glasses. I wanna do what I wanna do, otherwise I’ll hate myself for the rest of my life.”
He uses Shaun as his role model. “Shaun, on EastEnders, they started to turn his character into a joke and he walked away at the top of his game. That’s called integrity. OK? It doesn’t matter what happens to him now, cos he’s got his dignity.” he pats him on the back, and sweets start falling out of his track suit jacket. And when Iain tells him that what will happen is the production will shut down, and he’ll be back at square one, having burnt his bridges at the BBC. So Andy relents.
Maggie arrives to watch the filming. Andy is still trying to justify doing it. “And if it doesn’t stand the test of time, so what? Do something else, but, you know, bring as much joy into the world as you can.”
“Forget it, Barry, he’s doing it, mate.”
Liza Tarbuck plays one of the characters in the sitcom.
Andy deploys his catchphrase. “Are you having a laugh? Is he having a laugh?” and it gets a big laugh, so he keeps repeating it.
He looks at the audience. Some of them are wearing T-Shirts with other ‘naff’ catchphrases. Ricky Gervais’ contempt for the sitcom audience always feels like a failing on his part. Especially in an episode that repeatedly gets big laughs from “ironic” homophobia and racism. I enjoy a lot of his stuff (there’s plenty of funny stuff in this episode) but I can’t help not fully trusting his intentions.
Media Centre Description: Sitcom set in the world of film and TV extras. Background artist Andy Millman has finally got his big break. He’s trying to make a classy sitcom that will stand the test of time, but the BBC have different ideas – they’re more interested in silly wigs and chasing ratings.
After this, there’s that BBC2 Ident/trailer for That Mitchell and Webb Look followed by the first episode of the series, which I unaccountably didn’t archive. It starts off strong, with “Are we the baddies” as their first sketch, which greatly amused my daughter, who only knows it as a meme.
There’s also Angel Summoner and BMX Bandit, and Numberwang before the recording stops. It’s a very strong start for the series.
VHiStory 