The X Files – tape 2221

First on this tape, The X-Files and an episode called Nisei. It opens with an alien autopsy being performed by a group of Japanese doctors in a train car, that’s then invaded by armed men.

Mulder gets a videotape of the autopsy from a mail order advert, and when he goes to investigate the source, they find a dead man. More investigations leads Scully to a group of people who recognise her – they’ve all had an abduction experience in the last year.

The Lone Gunmen are consulted over the tape.

Scully recognises a Japanese doctor in a photo, but Mulder says he’s been dead since 1965. Scully has a flashback to her abduction, and remembers seeing the doctor’s face. She then recognises his face as one of the doctors in the alien autopsy video.

We see him, still alive, boarding a train to Canada that Mulder is following.

Mulder wants to get on the train, but Mr X, his secret informant, tells Scully he’ll be in great danger if he does. Naturally, Mulder ignores her warning, and does the whole jumping on the roof of a train thing. TO BE CONTINUED.

The next episode starts with a lot of army types storming some kind of dormitory which appears to be populated by alien-looking people. They are put into trucks, driven into the country, then unloaded and shot. All this while being watched by a much older alien-looking person.

Scully is told by Mr X that if she wants to know about her abduction, and who killed her sister, she’d have to find out about the implant she had put in her neck. She finds a link to a Japanese company – and the same doctor that Mulder is looking for on the train. Which leads her back to the dormitory from the opening, where she finds the few remaining people – leprosy sufferers. The place is supposed to be a research facility.

But the other people, the ones killed by the soldiers, were brought in much later. They weren’t suffering from leprosy, but they had deformed heads.

Mulder finds the Japanese doctor on the train, strangled, and finds another of the alien-looking men locked in a secure train car.

He’s attacked by the man who killed the doctor. He says he works for the NSA.

Scully is found by soldiers, and yet another shady man explains everything to her. The Japanese doctor had been conducting experiments on the lepers, on homeless people, the end result of which was people who look like aliens. Scully remembers that the train car in the autopsy video was where she was taken when she was abducted.

Time almost runs out when Mulder is rescued from the train car by the mysterious Mr X just before the bomb goes off.

So once again, nothing is resolved. Is it aliens? Is it government scientists conducting shady experiments. Are they just making it up as they go along? All of the above?

We skip a couple of episodes now, and come to Syzygy. There’s a famous face in the opening, a young Ryan Reynolds as a student, giving a eulogy for a fellow student. They believe there’s a satanic cult murdering children.

Two girls are afraid that, because the cult are targeting blond virgins, they might be next. They ask Reynolds for a lift home, and have a conversation about virgins being targeted, and how scared they are, and how much safer they would be if they weren’t virgins, so Reynolds pulls the car off the road.

Next morning, he’s found hanged, and the two girls are sitting up at the top of a cliff where the rope was secured.

Mulder and Scully are called in to help detective White investigate the case. They talk about the satanic cult rumours, talk about blond virgins, and Scully debunks them. Mulder asks “Do you think she’s a virgin?” and Scully replies “I doubt she’s even a blond.”

After Scully has finished poo-pooing the satanic rumours, the coffin catches fire.

The two girls continue their witchy killings, and the twonsfolk start getting a bit pitchforky. At one point they discover a bag belonging to the local pediatrician, buried on a field containing what they think are the bones of a child. They bang on the doctor’s door, which is alarming to him, as he’s relaxing in a nightie and makeup.

Mulder seeks information from the only reliable source in the town: An astrologer who won’t talk to him unless he pays her consulting fee. Yes, that’s how serious this is. She talls him about a once in a lifetime celestial convergence that’s causing everything.

There’s an impressive sequence when the two girls, having fallen out over a boy, are brought together in the police station, and all of a sudden furniture starts moving and everyone’s guns start discharging randomly. They had fun with this.

In the end it all resolves itself when Mulder puts the two girls in a cell until after midnight. An unsatisfying end to what was quite an entertaining episode.

The last episode on this tape is Grotesque. A serial killer is caught, but Mulder believes he’s possessed by an evil spirit, especially when a new victim is discovered, killed after the man is in custody. Kurtwood Smith plays the lead investigator, an agent whom Mulder knew at Quantico, and clearly didn’t get on with.

Another man is attacked, but he survives, although horribly mutilated. One of Smith’s agents had been bitten by the original killer. I wonder if that’s going to be significant?

Nope, he ends up dead, and made into a clay gargoyle.

It was Kurtwood Smith all along, presumably possessed by the evil spirit. Not a classic episode.

After this, recording continues with the start of an episode of Quantum Leap and the tape ends during that.

In the trailers, there’s a Sky Sports trailer about Newcastle featuring Kevin Keegan saying “I would love it if we beat them”. This is only remarkable because, only a couple of hours ago, Danny Baker tweeted that same image in a tweet about football today. Seriously, if I were remotely superstitious, this kind of thing happening constantly would push me into believing I was some divine being at the nexus of all known realities.

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One comment

  1. It does amuse me to think that in a parallel universe, I would be reviewing episode after episode of Q Leap and skipping X Files. But I doubt either show really stands up to scrutiny after all these years (if they ever did).

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