Day: February 15, 2018

Star Trek – Voyager – The Simpsons – Seinfeld – tape 2222

First on this tape, an episode of Star Trek Voyager called Twisted.

It opens with a surprise party for Kes, on her second birthday. For a race with such a truncated lifespan as hers, is a birthday really something to celebrate?

Neelix gets jealous when Paris gives her a locket. Again, there’s something creepy about Neelix being romantically involved with a two year old. Obviously, she’s an adult in her species’ terms, but it still feels a bit icky.

The ship encounters a spatial anomaly. Yes, that doesn’t narrow it down, does it? This one starts making all the crew get lost on the ship.

God, Neelix is a controlling, jealous creep.

There’s a lot of wandering around in this. Janeway gets caught in some kind of stretchy visual effect.

It’s a very passive episode. In the end, they can’t work out what the spatial effect is, so they just wait for it to go away. There’s some mumbling about it being a scan by an unknown intelligence, but it’s basically nothing.

This is the kind of Star Trek episode that a badly-trained AI might come up with.

After this, recording continues briefly with the start of WWF Action Zone.

Then, recording switches to an episode of The Simpsons – Marge on the Lam. Homer can’t make a date to see the ballet because he’s stuck in two vending machines, so she goes with her neighbour Ruth Powers (Pamela Reed), and has a good time, so they go off on another night out, and almost end up doing a Thelma and Louise.

After this, an episode of Seinfeld, The Barber. There’s an odd edit right at the start of the stand-up section. “What went wrong? Well [cut] it is a twenty thousand dollar chair to make a three dollar tip.” This feels like it’s the punchline to a slightly longer setup that’s missing.

Jerry goes to the barber, hoping that the talented assistant will cut his hair, but the less talented owner is there, and cuts his hair. It doesn’t go well.

George interviews for a job, and isn’t sure he’s been given the job, but he decides to turn up to work anyway and style it out.

Next, another episode of The Simpsons – Team Homer.

Marge is suspicious of Mad Magazine. “It causes a dangerous amount of laughter.”

The school introduces uniforms, which cows the children

Until it rains, and the colours running (how does grey run with so many colours?) remind the children to misbehave.

Next, more Star Trek Voyager. It’s an episode called Tatoo, and it’s a Chakotay episode. Landing on a planet, Chakotay sees a symbol that he recognises from Earth, when he was a child, being taken on journeys by his father, Henry Darrow.

The flora and fauna of this planet they’re on seems very similar to Earth’s. “That almost looks like a hawk.”

Said Hawk attacks Neelix, and Chakotay sees the flash frame of a face.

I think I lost track of the story at this point, as in Chakotay’s flashback, supposedly in Central American Rainforest, they meet an indigenous group of people that look like Star Trek aliens with crinkly foreheads.

But when Chakotay is stranded, he meets the planet’s inhabitants, the same people he met on Earth. Yes, aliens had visited Earth, and had influenced some native populations who had a particular respect for the land. It’s Chariots of the Gods all over again.

After this, another episode of Seinfeld. In The Marine Biologist, Jerry meets an old college friend, and when she asks about George, Jerry tells her he’s a marine biologist.

Carol Kane guest stars as a woman who was hit on the head, when a Russian author threw Elaine’s electronic organiser out of a limousine.

Kramer goes out to the coast to hit golf balls into the sea.

George also goes to the beach with his old college friend when a whale is beached, and he’s forced to go and help. With the confidence of an extremely limited man, he reaches into the whale’s blowhole and removes what’s obstructing it.

Just as the episode is ending, the sound on the broadcast suddenly turns into white noise. It takes four minutes (and a whole ad break) before they put up a title apologising for the ‘loss of sound’ as an episode of Duckman starts. It’s another minute before the sound comes back.

The tape ends during this episode.


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