Roswell High – Friends – tape 2483

Another tape of Roswell High. One of the problems with this show is working out where in continuity it is, since they all blur into one another. In this one, Michael has acquired a black eye from his abusive father. Maria and Liz are embarrassed when they get back to Maria’s house to discover her mother and the sheriff have hooked up. She even gets the classic ‘looking through rainsoaked window’ shot in a sad montage.

Michael visits with Max and Isabel, but he gets pissy during a game of Monopoly. Clearly his father is rubbing off on him. Then, when his drunk father starts hitting on Isabel when they come to see what’s wrong, Michael uses his powers to make the furniture move.

He spends the night with Maria, but the next day he’s interviewed by the Sheriff. His father is missing, the neighbours heard gunshots.

Michael wants to leave, and search for their real father, who they think is an alien called Nasedo, who’s also a shapeshifter.

But as he’s hitchhiking out of town, he remembers the vision he had in the caves in a previous episode, so he goes back to Max and Isabel, and asks their father to help him get emancipation from his foster father.

Speaking of him, the missing father turns up at the Sheriff’s office and tells him he’s leaving town. But then we see him driving out into some woods at night, opening the back of his car, and taking out the dead body of Michael’s actual foster father. Yes, it’s the mysterious Nasedo (I assume) and he does some shape shifting into another face after he’s buried the body.

After this, there’s an episode of Friends. It’s an hour long episode, and it’s a great setup. The gang discuss all the ways their lives might have been different if they’d made different choices in the past, and Ross asks “do you think we’d all hang out if all those things had happened?” leading to a very different title sequence with them all in their alternate lives, including that old staple of the show, Fat Monica.

I love a good alternate reality episode. They’re often favourites of mine in other shows (see Buffy’s The Wish and Yesterday’s Enterprise).

Ross and Rachel are still married to Carol and Barry respectively.

Phoebe is an investor at Merrill Lynch.

Chandler’s an unpublished writer.

Monica is, of course, fat.

Joey is still in Days of our Lives as Dr Drake Ramoray. Rachel is very impressed with this, as in this timeline she’s only just got back in touch with Ross and Rachel.

But the show nicely moves the characters back to where they are in the show. Ross’s sex life is nonexistent, so he proposes a threesome, only to discover that Carol is gay. Chandler and Monica hook up. Phoebe loses £13m for her firm, and is fired after having two heart attacks. Funny – £13m doesn’t sound like a very big loss any more.

I only have half this episode here – I guess I didn’t factor in the hour long slot. Recording switches to another Roswell High. It’s called Sexual Healing and is ramping up the hormones. There’s a dream sequence in the women’s shower with Liz, and later when she and Max start kissing passionately, Liz has a vision of space.

Talking of space, the science teacher here gets it egregiously wrong when he declares that “Hydrogen Oxygen and Helium were created in the milliseconds after the Big Bang”. Not remotely true, as the heavier elements are made in dying stars. He gets worse, saying that those three elements are the basis of ‘all life in the universe’ which seems like an unsupportable assertion unless you are sure Earth is the only planet that supports life.

Luckily, Max and Liz aren’t paying any attention, as they’re playing footsie, which brings on another vision for Liz.

Maria wants to join in, so she lies about having a vision when she kisses Michael. And Alex, never one to let an opportunity go by, wonders if Isabel wants to experiment with kissing him.

Liz gets a love-bite that glows, and gives more visions when Max touches it.

After more passionate smooching, Liz sees visions of where the crash happened, so they go there for more smooching.

There’s a lot of smooching in this episode.

But at least it leads them to discover something buried – a stone with a glowy symbol on it.

Following this, more Friends and The One with Unagi. Joey is working at Central Perk to earn some extra money. Nice to see the show reversing that trend I was complaining about, with the women working at cafes.

After this episode, recording continues for a short time with the very start of an episode of ER. Then the tape ends.

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