Day: September 12, 2016

Seinfeld – tape 2435

A change from the usual BBC2 or Sky One – here’s Seinfeld on the Paramount Comedy Channel. It’s one of those episodes where they’re trying to see one of the show’s fictional movies.

The next episode is The Visa. George’s new girlfriend turns out to be a lawyer, representing her cousin Ping against Elaine. Jerry’s neighbour Babu is deported because his visa renewal form ended up in Jerry’s mailbox while Jerry was on the road.

After this, recording continues, with the start of National Lampoon’s Movie Madness. It doesn’t start well. The titles run over ‘amusing’ illustrations that have plenty of movie references, but what they seem to have more of are women with large breast. Often large naked breasts. Sometimes large naked breasts being fondled by a man in the picture. Frankly it feels creepy.

The film itself is a portmanteau film, with three stories, by two directors and about seven writers. The first segment is Growing Yourself, I’m guessing it’s supposed to be a satire on Kramer vs Kramer except here, the husband (Peter Riegert) tells the wife she has to leave to ‘grow herself’ and he remains to look after the children. And hilarity ensues because he’s really bad at it. He tries to cook a chicken by putting it in the oven with the packaging still on, so the oven catches fire and the whole house burns down. Ho ho. One of his children randomly drives off with the firemen and nobody notices. Hee Hee. They move into a Manhattan apartment and he feeds the remaining children clams with Tabasco Sauce and Horseradish. Ha Ha. He quits his law firm, but so does everyone else there, as they’re all finding themselves. Tee Hee. He starts a business looking after plants or something. And lends his car to his ten year old son. Snort. He’s dating a 14 year old model. Good Grief. I’m going to be generous here and assume this part is a reference to Woody Allen in Manhattan. She leaves him because he’s ‘impudent’. His wife returns to drop off a new baby she’s just had, who she’s too busy to look after because she’s now the president of Union Carbide.

Maybe all of this self-actualising bullshit was so prevalent in the early 80s that this is actually hilarious, but I’m not feeling it today.

The next segment is Success Wanters. I thought this wouldn’t get any worse, but Ann Dusenberry plays a woman desperate for a job, Joe Spinell is a creepy agent who books her to be an exotic dancer at a convention of presidents of Dairy Companies. This scene ends with all the leering old men rushing the stage with pats of butter in their hands, wanting ‘a butter bang’.

She vows revenge on the Butter Presidents, so she goes to a Margarine company to ask Robert Culp to teach her all about margarine. “Margarine is a ruthless industry. It’s no place for a woman.” “But you’ve never met a woman like me.”

Oh good, is this actually going to be an inspiring story of a strong woman succeeding in industry?

Nope. She proceeds to stick an ice cube in her mouth, goes under the (vary large) table between them and (we’re to presume) gives Culp a blow job, accompanied by the theme from Jaws.

I’m quite glad that this recording cuts out halfway through this particular story, as I can’t take any more of this dross.

Underneath, there’s part of an episode of Frasier. Then an episode of Cheers. It’s the one where Norm has to fire people. The tape ends before this episode ends.

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