Have I Got News For You – SeaQuest DSV – Carrott’s Commercial Breakdown – Films Of The Year 93 – Film 94 – tape 1622

This tape opens with the end of an episode of The Wartime Kitchen & Garden, looking at 1945.

There’s a trailer for Christmas Night on BBC2. Then a trailer for Kiri Te Kanawa in The Sorceress

I like the BBC2 idents this year. Nicely old school.

Christmas BBC2 logo

Then, the Christmas edition of Have I Got News For You featuring Griff Rhys Jones

Griff Rhys Jones

and Bob Geldof.

Bob Geldof

Weirdly, Paul and Ian have swapped sides in this edition. And Paul is in a suit and Ian is in a colourful shirt.

BBC Genome: BBC Two – 24th December 1993 – 21:00

After this, recording switches to ITV for an episode of SeaQuest DSV. There was a trend in the 90s, particularly in TV shows, of appending random letters and numbers to the titles of TV shows. SeaQuest could have just been SeaQuest, but they insisted on appending DSV. Stargate the TV show had to append SG1. Even movie studios did it. When Steven Spielberg, Jeffrey Katzenberg and Devid Geffen formed Dreamworks, they weren’t content to leave it there, they had to somehow imprint their specific identities on the name, and call it Dreamworks SKG, turning a potentially timeless and iconic name into an ugly piece of monogrammed notepaper.

Anyway, back to the show, which opens in the ‘New Ausland Confederation’ which sounds like the kind of fake place name that a 12 year old might think up.

New Ausland Confederation

The SeaQuest crew are visiting a mining community. When the four visitors enter the bar, the music literally stops, everyone looks round at them, then the music starts again and everyone ignores them. Perhaps this is written by a twelve year old.

The crew are there to investigate a distress signal. But nobody seems to be in distress, and nobody wants to talk. The man in charge seems to be David McCallum, complete with ill-advised Australian accent and a cowboy hat, who’s the sheriff of this frontier town.

David McCallum

David Morse is there with his young son, and he randomly starts fighting with one of the SeaQuest crew, but when he gets close to him he whispers that he needs their help, but he’s clearly not able to say that out loud.

David Morse

McCallum tells them they’re not needed, and not welcome – the mine is sitting on a big seam of gold, and the miners feel that intrusion by SeaQuest represents the big government intruding into their local affairs. This is a local mine for local people.

So the crew leave, but find someone has hidden a small dog in their sub, with a note from Morse’s son, asking for help.

Cry for help

So the crew have to find a way to get back on the mine without drawing the ire of Sheriff McCallum. Obviously, a mine like this has a constant stream of women travelling to it. No, it’s not what you’re thinking, they’re all singers and entertainers, honestly. So SeaQuest regular Stacey Haiduk volunteers to go there as a singer.

No sooner is she on the ship than McCallum starts hitting on her. In fact, he as much as proposes marriage almost as soon they first meet. “When it comes to beautiful women, second chances are pretty rare around here.”

It doesn’t take Haiduk long to find Morse’s son, and they find out that he’s actually the owner of the land rights for the mine, but McCallum led a mutiny of miners, and they only keep Morse around because he has to sign the orders to sell the gold they mine. So they get Morse and his family out, but one of the crew is held by McCallum.

So they have to go back one more time to break McCallum’s hold on the mine, and reinstate Morse, which they manage to do almost peacefully.

After this episode the recording continues with an ITN news bulletin. After a few minutes of this report, including the news that minister Tim Yeo had fathered a ‘love child’, recording switches to the end of Newsroom South East. Then weather with Penny Tranter.

Then there’s a trailer for New Year’s Day programmes on BBC1 featuring Noel Edmonds and Jim Davidson, plus Barry Norman trails Films of the Year.

Then, Carrott’s Commercial Breakdown. It’s the usual stuff. Jasper Carrott shows commercials from around the world.

Carrott's Commercial Breakdown

BBC Genome: BBC One – 28th December 1993 – 22:10

Then, Barry Norman looks at the best films of 1993 in Films of the Year. The films he selected are:

There’s also a look at the movie news for the year, including the closure of Elstree studios, and there’s a nice selection of snippets from Interviews Barry has done during the year.

BBC Genome: BBC One – 28th December 1993 – 23:00

After this, recording switches to the end of Match of the Day. There’s a trailer for All Quiet on the Preston Front. Then a trailer for the recently watched Internal Affairs.

Then, an episode of Film 94 in which Barry Norman reviews:

There’s a location report on Martin Scorsese’s The Age of Innocence

BBC Genome: BBC One – 10th January 1994 – 23:50

After this there’s a trailer for 40 Years of the Weather.

Then, an episode of Careering Ahead starts. The tape stops during this programme.

Adverts:

  • McDonalds
  • London Fire Brigade
  • Courts Sale
  • Auto Windscreens
  • Christmasline
  • trail: New Year’s Eve on ITV

  • Do It All
  • Beechams Powders
  • Selfridges
  • British Airways
  • Haven Holidays
  • Makro
  • Argos
  • MFI
  • Magnet
  • Night Nurse
  • Debenhams
  • Smoke Alarms
  • Courts
  • Hampton Court Palace
  • Tetley Bitter
  • Lunn Poly
  • B&Q
  • trail: ITV Family Film
  • Thomson
  • Texas
  • Renault 19 Biarritz
  • C&A
  • Fairy Liquid
  • Carpet Right
  • Commercial Union
  • Liberty Sale
  • Thompson
  • Christmasline
  • trail: Christmas Gladiators
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6 comments

  1. Remember when ITV aired the pilot for “SeaQuest DSV” with single reference to Steven Spielberg cut out of the credits (even the Amblin Television logo for some reason)? I still want to know why that happened.

  2. How on earth does Falling Down get a write-up as a diatribe against political correctness? Not a bad year for films, though.

    SeaQuest DSV I desperately wanted to like, but couldn’t. The premise was just too silly (and given the genre, that’s saying something). And every time that dolphin came on screen, a picture of Wesley Crusher popped into my mind. Note to producers: shows do not need cutesy animals/child actors/robots to secure the younger audience…

  3. As the HIGNFY book points out, for that episode Ian tried to replicate Paul’s success by sitting on his side of the desk and wearing a tasteless shirt – and Paul won by a record margin. The book also included a transcript of a long discussion between Jones and Geldof about moustaches (Jones: “Can you make your moustache stick up at the end?” Geldof: “I certainly can!” Deayton: “What panto are you two appearing in?”).

    ITV tried so hard to make a success of Seaquest but never managed it, and it ended up being shoved in every available slot. I remember it got an outing one Saturday morning when kids show It’s Not Just Saturday couldn’t be shown for some reason.

  4. Just to point out RE: Dreamworks SKG – there was a preexisting Dreamworks company, that was a video game developer, so it might not have been pure initialism vanity.

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