Lust in the Dust – tape 325

This tape has LWT showing Paul Bartel’s comedy western Lust in the Dust starring Divine as a singer looking for work, and Tab Hunter as a laconic mystery cowboy. It’s no Blazing Saddles, I’m afraid. They meet randomly in the desert, and go to a small town which has a legend about buried gold, and naturally everyone wants the gold, but nobody knows where it is. But half of a map to the gold’s location is tattooed on Divine’s butt.

Former Joker Cesar Romero plays the local priest.

Cesar Romero

After the movie, LWT hands over to Night Network. What in God’s name were they thinking with their ‘introduction’ which consists of random clips from things, with no context? And it goes on and on.

The first programme is an episode of Batman – without any opening titles, and with the opening establishing shots still interspersed with Night Network branding. It’s like they got the intern to do the packages, and he got high on espresso before he started.

GOOD GRIEF. We’re five minutes into the show, and they’re still throwing inserts in. Commissioner Gordon goes to call Batman on the Batphone, they chuck in this.

Don't Touch That Dial

And then just cuts back to the show. I thought at first I might have been watching it, and took out an ad break, but no, there’s a real ad break a few minutes later.

After the ad break, we’re not back to Batman – oh no – there’s a song from Go West – Don’t Look Down.

Then, Video View, presented by Craig Charles

Craig Charles Video View

With guests Elizabeth Westwood

Elizabeth Westwood

and Pete Wylie

Pete Wylie

They look a videos from PIL, Mick Jagger, The Housemartins, Squeeze, LL Cool J and Dee Lewis.

Then, back to Batman and we get an episode title – Hi Diddle Riddle, which means it’s the very first episode. Coupled with Craig Charles’ intro for Video View I do wonder if this is actually the very first Night Network. They do seem to be introducing all the sections.

Another segment is Chart Attack with Mick Brown.

Mick Brown

This is an interminable show where he reads a list of the top 20 videos and makes lame jokes about them.

There’s another few minutes of Batman before the tape runs out.


  • trail: Night Network
  • Petit Filous
  • Radio Rentals
  • Hofmeister
  • Yellow Pages
  • Novo
  • Trail: Night Network
  • Moosehead Beer
  • Ramlosa
  • Cellnet – Joan Collins
  • Rover
  • heinz Spaghetti
  • Texas
  • Pimm’s
  • trail: Night network
  • Capital Radio
  • Miller Lite
  • Pepsi – David Bowie and Tina Turner

  • Job Club
  • Sure
  • Gillette Contour Plus
  • BP Share Offer
  • Studioline
  • Esso Superlube
  • Levi 501 – When a Man Loves a Woman
  • Chewy Cluster
  • Pretty Polly
  • Strongbow
  • Philips
  • Oxy 10
  • Miller Lite
  • The Guardian
  • Esso Superlube
  • Levi 501
  • Fosters
  • Studioline


  1. You have to feel for whoever had to draw the map on Divine’s behind day in day out. I hope New World paid the artist well. (Oh wait, it was New World. So I guess they didn’t.)

    On the other hand, “The Stranger And The Gunfighter” with Lee Van Cleef had a joke (sic) about a fetching prostitute whose bottom was covered with signatures from satisfied customers (I’m guessing), which LVC added to by writing an X. I have no sympathy for the folks who had THAT job.

      1. I think you’re forgetting the king of the bottom tattoo films, Dick Emery’s Ooh… You Are Awful! Was this the first?

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