You can tell it’s comic relief just from the weather report.
There’s a trailer for GLR, and one for Saturday Night. Then a trailer for The Lenny Henry Show.
Then, Comic Relief 95 kicks off, opening with Chris Evans and Lenny Henry.
Lenny Henry has to get to a heliport to fly to Northern Ireland to host a comedy gala, so he’s driven in a Mclaren sports car by Mr Bean.
I’m not sure I like Chris Evans’ segment that much. He’s imported a lot of his Don’t Forget Your Toothbrush schtick, and the big setpiece is, if the total reaches £1m, they’ll drop a cowpat on Patsy Palmer’s head (although she’s constantly referred to as ‘Bianca from Eastenders’).
At least, in this hour, there’s also the first part of an all-star sequel to Oliver Twist. Here’s the faces appearing in the first part.
Following this, music comes from Wet Wet Wet.
Rory Bremner phones up some people pretending to be John Major, and asking them to be in a Party Political Broadcast.
In the next hour, the presenters are French and Saunders.
There’s the second part of Oliver Twist II, featuring Stephen Fry as Charles Dickens.
Ron Moody reprises the role of Fagin.
French and Saunders meet Joanna Lumley (sort of)
Mr Bean meets Torvill and Dean.
There’s an interesting moment towards the end of French and Saunders’ segment. They have to get £1m so that Dawn can snog Hugh Grant. The total is up to £758,411 at the end, so they bring on another big cheque – for £215,000. Then they run the total again, and it’s £1,066,779. Which doesn’t add up.
Then, as the audience are applauding, Chris Evans says to Jennifer Saunders “It obviously didn’t take it up to that, but we thought it might as well, for the sake of the programme. ”
Now, I’m not sure if this was part of the comedy, or if they genuinely cocked up the count. It’s very strange.
But it does mean Dawn gets to kiss Hugh Grant.
The kiss marks the end of the first part, and there’s a trailer for Absolutely Fabulous.
After the news, there’s a trailer for The Choir. And one for Saturday Night.
Then, the second part of Comic Relief now presented by Jonathan Ross.
Ross introduces Harry Enfield as Tim Nice But Dim..
In a segment where Ruby Wax has to raise £1m, you get to see her husband, Red Dwarf director Ed Bye in the shower.
Ian McKellen reads the lyrics to Like A Virgin.
Alan Partridge presents a local segment from Norwich.
Loyd Grossman does old-style Masterchef with the Slobs.
The next hour is presented by Smith and Jones.
Ruby Wax gets thrown out of Harrods by Mohammed Al Fayed.
And that’s more or less the end of the tape.
Iteresting, the Radio Times broke the show down into hour-long programmes, but the running order clearly changed after the schedules had been published, as Harry Enfield was supposed to have been before the news, and French and Saunders afterwards.