Paul Merton In… – Cybill – Roseanne – tape 2334

Here’s a tape that was mislabelled. The label just said ‘Cybill – Roseanne’ but the first programme here is an episode of Paul Merton’s series of Galton and Simpson Hancock scripts. This episode is The Missing Page. Paul returns some overdue books to the library, and takes out a mystery, Lady Don’t Fall Backwards by Darcy Sarto. But when he gets to the end, he discovers that the last page is missing, so the identity of the murderer remains a mystery.

The librarian doesn’t know what happened to the page, and doesn’t have another copy, but he does know the last person who borrowed it – played by Jim Sweeney.

Jim Sweeney

But he, too is obsessed with the ending. Finally, when Paul and his partner, played by Caroline Quentin, go to the British Museum and finally get an undamaged copy, and learn the truth…

Somehow, Paul Merton doesn’t quite do the stories justice. He doesn’t quite have the same qualities as Tony Hancock does. The scripts are very close to the originals – but the staging is slightly different – Quentin is playing the role originally played by Sid James. And some of the details are updated – Paul gets a CD player where Hancock got a gramophone, and the librarian uses a ‘magic wand’ to scan the books. But the bulk of the dialogue is identical.

If you’re interested in seeing the original, it’s available on YouTube.

After this, recording switches to an episode of Cybill.  Then, it goes into an episode of Roseanne. Which always slightly surprises me when I see Angel’s Glenn Quinn and The Big Bang Theory’s Johnny Galecki as guest stars.

Then we have an episode The Mark Thomas Comedy Product. One segment has him trying to get rentaquote MP Jerry Hayes to wear a penis costume.

Jerry Hayes

Seb Coe, then an MP, was also persuaded to talk to Thomas in a bear costume.

Seb Coe

Also used in the same segment is David Amess, famously also embarrassed by Chris Morris in Brass Eye. One part of this setup asks the MPs if they can draw their constituency on the stomach of a young woman. Amess and another MP seem happy to do this, but Coe sensibly demurs.

Talking to David Amess, Thomas (in a bear suit) asks about his support for the death penalty, and his opposition to abortion. “You’re pro-hanging, you’re anti-abortion. What age do you think we should be able to kill ’em?”

He phones the press office to ask if they had any MPs who would be willing to be interviewed on the toilet. Cue George Galloway.

There’s also a segment on the LiveTV News Bunny.

News Bunny

And a credit spot: Researcher Dominic Joly

Researcher Dominic Joly

After this, recording continues (I think) into an episode of TFI Friday with guest Jarvis Cocker, less than a week after he famously disrupted Michael Jackson’s appearance at the Brit awards.

TFI Cocker

Also on the show, music from Lenny Kravitz

Lenny Kravitz

Up and coming actor Ewan McGregor is there to promote Trainspotting.

Ewan McGregor

There’s ‘At Home with Chris and Cher’ – yes, that really is Cher.

At Home with Chris and Cher

Patsy Kensit is interviewed, although she\s rather patronisingly introduced as Liam Gallagher’s girlfriend.

Patsy Kensit

Jarvis Cocker talks about his Brits appearance.

Jarvis Cocker


This recording continues, with some Beavis and Butthead. Another of Mike Judge’s unfunny cartoons (see also King of the Hill).

Following this, the tape runs out during a film, The Romantic Englishwoman starring Glenda Jackson and Michael Caine.


  • Golf TDi
  • Tunisia
  • Gillette Sensor Excel
  • Lynx Atlantis
  • Emirates
  • trail: Catherine Cookson’s The Girl
  • Renault Laguna
  • San Marco
  • UPS
  • Vauxhall Corsa
  • Rolo Caramel Egg
  • Diet Coke
  • Capital FM
  • Nutella
  • Nike
  • Patak’s
  • Lottery Instants
  • Orbit
  • Bird’s Eye Chicken dishes
  • Peugeot 406
  • When Saturday Comes in cinemas
  • Clairol Nice ‘n’ Easy
  • Pantene
  • Casino – in cinemas – with a URL in the advert, a rarity in those days
  • Precision UV contact lenses
  • trail: NBA Raw
  • Vauxhall Corsa
  • AA insurance
  • martini
  • Capital FM
  • Oxy 10
  • renault Laguna
  • Always
  • DHL
  • partners against Crime
  • One Plus One dating
  • Esso
  • trail: Peter’s Friends
  • Tyson Uncaged on video
  • Essilor Varilux bifocal
  • Chatback
  • Lynx Atlantis
  • orbit
  • Polaroid
  • Maltesers
  • Lottery Instants
  • Peugeot 406
  • Polo
  • When Saturday Comes
  • trail: Moviewatch
  • trail: board stupid
  • Reservoir Dogs on video
  • Saab
  • Biactol
  • Territorial Army
  • Wispa Gold
  • Capital FM
  • Florida
  • SeaWorld
  • trail: NBA Raw
  • Nike
  • KFC
  • DHL
  • Party Time
  • Oxy 10
  • Citroen Synergie
  • Lottery Instants
  • Our Friends Electric
  • M&Ms
  • Trail: Peter’s Friends
  • Golf TDi
  • When Saturday Comes
  • Kleenex
  • orbit
  • Bodyform
  • NHS Lotto
  • BT
  • Chatback
  • Special Constabulary

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